Cannes Prognostications: What Might Play for the Palme d’Or

I’ve tried for the past five minutes to make a pun conflating the words “Cannes” and “Prognostication.” Despite it seeming like they’d be a good match, it’s deceptively difficult. “Cannes-nostication” is the best I could come up with, and that’s terrible.

I also spent almost ten minutes trying to comb through this The Hollywood Reporter article on possible flicks hitting the South of France, but had trouble getting over the opening paragraph which reads:

As the industry prepares to say “auf wiedersehen” to Berlin, attention turns to who will be hearing the words: “Bienvenue a Cannes!”

I thought, “Seriously? You opened with that?” Then I re-read my first paragraph and rolled my eyes. Well played, Charles Masters of The Hollywood Reporter. Or should I say, “Touche!”

Basically, the article is thick and difficult to navigate so I’ve condensed it into this easy-to-read list because I’m thick and lazy.

Movies that are semi-hinted at by Cannes insiders that may or may not be lying about whether they’ll play at Cannes:

• Jaco van Dormael’s Mr. Nobody, a science fiction film featuring Jared Leto, Diane Kruger, Sarah Polley and Rhys Ifans
• Nicolas Hulot’s The Titanic Syndrome, an environmental documentary about consumption
• Jan Kounen’s Coco and Igor, a biopic of Coco Chanel that focuses on her relationship with Igor Stravinsky
• Anne Fontaine’s Coco Before Chanel, another biopic about Coco starring Audrey Tautou
• Johnnie To’s Vengeance, an action thriller about a hitman in Hong Kong
• Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds, the often-misspelled World War II remake featuring Brad Pitt
• Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist, an emotional horror film starring Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg
• Jane Campion’s Bright Star, a drama about John Keats starring Ben Whishaw
• Ken Loach’s Looking For Eric, a film focusing on soccer icon Eric Cantona
• Pedro Almodovar’s Abrazos Rotos, a Spanish thriller starring Penelope Cruz
• Alejandro Amenabar’s Agora, which sees Rachel Weisz playing Egyptian philosopher Hypatia in an historical drama
• Jim Jarmusch’s The Limits of Control, a road trip film set in Spain
• McG’s Terminator Salvation, a movie you already know everything about
• Sylvain Chomet’s The Illusionist, an animated feature focusing on a dying art as its overtaken by rock stars
• Tarik Saleh’s Metropia, an animated science fiction piece voiced by Stellan Skarsgard and Juliette Lewis
• Francis Ford Coppola’s Tetro, a drama focusing on an Italian immigrant family starring Vincent Gallo
• Xavier Giannoli’s In The Beginning, a film starring Gerard Depardieu
• Christophe Honore’s The Beautiful Person, a loose adaptation of de La Fayette’s “The Princess of Cleves,” (the first European novel) set in high school
• Bruno Dumont’s Hadewijch, a film with a title that doesn’t translate into English
• Marina de Van’s Do Not Return, a psychological thriller about a photographer starring Monica Bellucci and Sophie Marceau
• Gaspar Noe’s Enter the Void, a drama starring Paz de la Huerta
• Alain Corneau’s Second Breath, a crime drama also starring Monica Bellucci
• Christian Carion’s Farewell, a spy thriller involving the KGB
• Matthias Glassner’s This Is Love, a film focusing on child prostitution in Thailand
• Fatih Akin’s Soul Kitchen, a comedy out of Germany
• Luca Guadagnino’s I Am Love, a love story set in turn of the millennium Milan starring Tilda Swinton
• Michele Placido’s The Great Dream, about a 1960s student protest in Rome
• Elia Suleiman’s The Time That Remains, a story of the creation of Israel
• Niki Caro’s The Vintner’s Luck, a drama starring Vera Farmiga
• Andrea Arnold’s Fish Tank, a drama about a teenage girl who has to deal with her mother getting a new boyfriend
• Several Directors’ New York, I Love You, the gushing cinematic love letter to the city so nice they gave it a subway

Yes, it’s long. Feel free to click on links (that I’ve painstakingly included) for more IMDB info on the films.

Also, keep in mind that these are just possible films – the real roster will depend heavily on whether some of them are finished in time, whether they impress the voting panel, and whether or not they’re directed by Gaspar Noe.

We’ll keep an eye on the tracking list and let you know how things are developing. Until then, we’ll be waiting until the line up is announced sometime before May 22nd. We hope.

What do you think? Any names or titles or concepts stand out?