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33 Things We Learned From the ‘Conan the Barbarian’ Commentary

By  · Published on August 2nd, 2012

Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!

Those days surely include Arnold Schwarzenegger providing another grand achievement in film commentary, and though we’ve already covered Total Recall, we weren’t going to let that little fact stand in our way of checking in with Arnie once again this week. The commentary the Governator recorded with director John Milius for Conan the Barbarian has gone down in history as one of the greats, a true wonder to behold. It’s the movie that made Arnold a star, and he thankfully provides a commentary as awesome as the movie itself.

But, in case you aren’t ready to behold it just yet, we’ve got you covered. So here, by the will of Crom, are all 33 things we learned while listening to the Conan the Barbarian commentary – that is, besides crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentation of their women. That comes later.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Commentators: John Milius (director), Arnold Schwarzenegger (really? It’s Arnold), the guidance and power of Crom

Best in Commentary

“Everybody wants to push at the Wheel of Pain and become Arnold.” -John Milius

“I remember shooting certain scenes very well.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger, but the scene where he punches the camel will always be his favorite.

“It’s really not just a simple story. It’s about what makes us what we are.” -Milius

“I was getting laid a lot in this movie. It’s amazing.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger, pointing out what is really best in life.

Final Thoughts

The Conan the Barbarian commentary is one of those, as with all Arnold Schwarzenegger commentaries it seems, that you can’t just read up about. You have to listen to it first-hand and take in all of Schwarzenegger’s sense of humor and the way he watches his films. There isn’t a whole lot of insight on this commentary, either from Schwarzenegger or from John Milius. Much of the commentary is a play-by-play of what’s going on with anecdotes and changes in the film coming up here and there. There’s enough found within, at least enough to cover a decent enough sized Commentary Commentary article.

However, the real gems on this commentary come from Schwarzenegger, even when it’s him simply saying “That’s funny” or “That is a funny scene” or “I remember that,” all of which he says on more than a few occasions. Listening to Schwarzenegger laugh at himself punching out a camel or falling face-first in a bowl of soup is every bit as enjoyable as a top-notch director explaining his craft of storytelling. Schwarzenegger isn’t the most well versed when it comes to film theory, but you know that’s not the reason why we love Schwarzenegger anyway.

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