The 2014 Golden Globes Winners

The 71st Golden Globe Awards are happening now, and we’ve got all the winners for your reference. Don’t worry, no spoilers. We’re only finding out everything as it happens, and we’ll be updating this post throughout the big night. Keep checking in, especially if you’re not watching. But why aren’t you watching? It should be an entertaining show, not just because of hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, but because of the booze (ours and theirs). Also, nobody is sure what will win the Best Picture – Drama trophy, Gravity or 12 Years a Slave. It’s vital that we find out and we’ll be here for the ride towards finding out.

Okay, let’s get to the winners. They’re the ones in bold below. Congrats to all, unless Breaking Bad wins. Nobody even likes that show, right? Just kidding, it better win this time.

Best Picture – Drama

12 Years a Slave

If it was going to win just one award tonight, this was the one to win. A great film, a much-deserved honor. Thank goodness for Brad Pitt – I mean for Solomon Northup for having the courage to get through it and write about it – so this could be made.

Captain Phillips

Gravity

Philomena

Rush

Best Picture – Musical or Comedy

American Hustle

Hardly the true best movie of these five choices, but it does feel like the right choice for the Golden Globe somehow. If only I’d known it was a comedy when I was watching it.

Her

Inside Llewyn Davis

Nebraska

The Wolf of Wall Street

Best Actor – Drama

Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave)

Idris Elba (Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom)

Tom Hanks (Captain Phillips)

Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

This sure wasn’t the upset I was expecting. Did anyone see a McConaughey win coming? Still, alright, alright, alright.

Robert Redford (All Is Lost)

Best Actress – Drama

Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)

A classy acceptance by a classy, funny lady. One of the best choices Woody Allen made for a lead actress in decades.

Sandra Bullock (Gravity)

Judi Dench (Philomena)

Emma Thompson (Saving Mr. Banks)

Kate Winslet (Labor Day)

Best Actor – Comedy or Musical

Christian Bale (American Hustle)

Bruce Dern (Nebraska)

Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)

Excellent choice here, and not just because I predicted it as an upset. Maybe it’s time DiCaprio fully goes back to his comedy roots (never forget Growing Pains).

Oscar Isaac (Inside Llewyn Davis)

Joaquin Phoenix (Her)

Best Actress – Comedy or Musical

Amy Adams (American Hustle)

We got a prediction right! And it’s a good thing she was nominated for this instead of Her, because the dress worn in that case would have been frumpy.

Julie Delpy (Before Midnight)

Greta Gerwig (Frances Ha)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Enough Said)

Meryl Streep (August: Osage County)

Best Supporting Actor

Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips)

Daniel Bruhl (Rush)

Bradley Cooper (American Hustle)

Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave)

Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)

We can all pretend he’s also being honored for the best sci-fi film of last year, Mr. Nobody. But he probably deserves this regardless. I haven’t personally seen the movie yet.

Best Supporting Actress

Sally Hawkins (Blue Jasmine)

Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)

She is the best thing in the movie, and it was great to hear in her usually humble acceptance speech that she loves David O. Russell’s earlier, better work. But Nyong’o got robbed.

Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave)

Julia Roberts (August: Osange County)

June Squibb (Nebraska)

Best Director

Steve McQueen (12 Years a Slave)

David O. Russell (American Hustle)

Paul Greengrass (Captain Phillips)

Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity)

Probably the only thing Gravity truly deserves to win anything for. Also, movie geeks everywhere can start preferring the Golden Globes if he’s snubbed at the Oscars.

Alexander Payne (Nebraska)

Best Screenplay

Philomena

Her

Another win I’m very glad to have not predicted correctly. This is probably the smartest, most clever script in at least a few years.

Nebraska

12 Years a Slave

American Hustle

Best Original Score

All Is Lost

If I’d known Alex Ebert (the winner of the award) was the guy from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros before just now, I’d have checked out this score a long time ago. Love that band.

Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom

Gravity

The Book Thief

12 Years a Slave

Best Original Song

“Atlas” (The Hunger Games: Catching Fire)

“Let It Go” (Frozen)

“Ordinary Love” (Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom)

Did it win because Bono is the biggest star of these nominees or in tribute to the late Mandela? Either way, it’s about time the “Please Mr. Kennedy” backlash arrives. What a silly, so-so song.

“Please Mr. Kennedy” (Inside Llewyn Davis)

“Sweeter Than Fiction” (One Chance)

Best Animated Feature

The Croods

Despicable Me 2

Frozen

This was a no brainer. Did you know the Hollywood Foreign Press Association has almost always given Disney this award.

Best Foreign Language Film

Blue is the Warmest Color

The Great Beauty

You may have missed this when it was in theaters, so check it out on Criterion Collection Blu-ray on March 25th.

The Hunt

The Past

The Wind Rises

Best Series – Drama

Breaking Bad

If this hadn’t won, there probably would have been a riot. Thank you for not being nominated this year, Homeland. Yeah, bitch, is right.

Downton Abbey

The Good Wife

House of Cards

Masters of Sex

Best Series – Musical or Comedy

The Big Bang Theory

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Haven’t seen this show. So, it’s good? Wait, that’s not what a Golden Globes win means, necessarily. But it wouldn’t hurt to verify.

Girls

Modern Family

Parks and Recreation

Best Actor – Drama

Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)

Would have been happy with Spacey winning any other time, but it’s unbelievable that Cranston hadn’t won before this. The most deserved win of the night.

Michael Sheen (Masters of Sex)

Liev Schreiber (Ray Donovan)

Kevin Spacey (House of Cards)

James Spader (The Blacklist)

Best Actress – Drama

Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife)

Tatiana Maslany (Orphan Black)

Taylor Schilling (Orange is the New Black)

Kerry Washington (Scandal)

Robin Wright (House of Cards)

Didn’t see this coming, but it’s a good one for me to have gotten wrong. She’s not the best thing on the show, but it deserved something.

Best Actor – Musical or Comedy

Jason Bateman (Arrested Development)

Don Cheadle (House of Lies)

Michael J. Fox (The Michael J. Fox Show)

Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)

Andy Samberg (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

Turns out our own Inkoo Kang called this show 30 Rock’s true successor on FSR back in October. I should have been paying attention.

Best Actress – Musical or Comedy

Zooey Deschanel (New Girl)

Lena Dunham (Girls)

Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep)

Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation)

If anyone had to beat Louis-Dreyfus, I’m very happy that it’s Poehler. She is even more adorably humble than Jennifer Lawrence.

Best Actor – Miniseries or TV Movie

Matt Damon (Behind the Candelabra)

Michael Douglas (Behind the Candelabra)

Really, this was the most predictable award of the night, deservedly so. Douglas made this movie.

Chiwetel Ejiofor (Dancing on the Edge)

Idris Elba (Luther)

Al Pacino (Phil Spector)

Best Actress – Miniseries or TV Movie

Helena Bonham Carter (Burton & Taylor)

Rebecca Ferguson (The White Queen)

Jessica Lange (American Horror Story: The Coven)

Helen Mirren (Phil Spector)

Elisabeth Moss (Top of the Lake)

Very, very happy about this win. This was one of the best performances in any media last year. See this miniseries if you haven’t already. It is incredible.

Best Supporting Actor

Josh Charles (The Good Wife)

Rob Lowe (Behind the Candelabra)

Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad)

Corey Stoll (House of Cards)

Jon Voight (Ray Donovan)

They should have just not bothered finally nominating Aaron Paul. But then I’d be made Rob Lowe didn’t win. Or Corey Stoll. Or Josh Charles. I think Jon Voight is an awful actor, in this or anything.

Best Supporting Actress

Jacqueline Bisset (Dancing On the Edge)

Honestly, I’ve never heard of this before the Golden Globes nomination. I guess we should check it out.

Janet McTeer (The White Queen)

Hayden Panettiere (Nashville)

Monica Potter (Parenthood)

Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)

Best Miniseries or TV Movie

American Horror Story: Coven

Behind the Candelabra

Honestly, as good as this is, Top of the Lake is much, much better. But if anything besides that had to win, Steven Soderbergh’s Liberace movie is it.

Dancing on the Edge

Top of the Lake

The White Queen