There is something inherently humorous about movies that come from a production company that is the brain-child of the guy who brought us World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). But to his credit, Vince McMahon has made a science out of pleasing the easily entertained mass populous of America, so why not do it with films? In the last few years this brand of entertainment has delivered such jaw dropping action classics as See No Evil and The Marine. I mean, how can you possibly top those two flicks?
Easy answer: take “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and throw him into a movie with a classically badass actor like Vinnie Jones, give it a topical storyline and everything else should just fall into place. That topical storyline, the plot behind The Condemned, is a horrifically preachy satire about the recent reality TV fad. So the story goes, multi-millionaire jackass Ian Breckel (Robert Mammone) decides to make a reality show where 10 death row inmates are sent to a remote island and are left to battle to the death. Since no networks would ever pick up something like that, he broadcasts it over the internet. Among the inmates are the aforementioned Austin and Jones, playing the classic hero versus psycho roles and you can pretty much guess who wins from there.
Even for those who will enjoy this mindless violence, this film is in and out of your system like a good bean burrito just south of the border. Besides the classic action movie cliches for characters, there are plenty of poorly managed plot points that just don’t make any sense. For example, while flying the “contestants” to the island, the geniuses behind the show fly right over their compound, the place from where the show is being broadcast. Of course, later in the film this comes in handy when the “contestants” decide that they don’t want to play any more, they’d rather just kill the guys who are making them fight to the death against their will. It is simple stuff like this that can frustrate even the most easily entertained moviegoer.
Of course, this is one of those movies that is going to be applauded by the beer drinking, wife beating WWE and UFC watching rednecks of the world, all of whom will just go see it to watch Steve Austin bloody up a few fools. Director Scot Wiper, to his credit, does a decent job filming hand-to-hand combat scenes, but misses the boat entirely when it comes to giving the movie any variation of depth. In short, if it is a bunch of fighting and bad dialog that you are after, The Condemned is for you. For the rest of us, the sensible and tasteful minority, this is a movie that will hopefully be missed.
