Required Reading: Michael Bay’s Women and Godzilla’s God

By  · Published on June 27th, 2014

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“How to Tell You’re a Woman in a Michael Bay Movie” – Kyle Buchanan at Vulture offers a helpful guide in case you were questioning whether or not you were living as a lady in a Michael Bay movie. If you answer yes to everything, good luck in life.

“3. Every male character is discussing how hot you are

Nicola Peltz plays Mark Wahlberg’s 17-year-old daughter in Transformers: Age of Extinction, and her first two scenes are dominated by men who call her hot (including her dad’s friend … awkward!). Later in the movie, in what may be the longest dialogue scene in the film, Peltz’s older boyfriend explains to a horrified Mark Wahlberg why it’s legal for him to fuck her, thanks to the state’s Romeo and Juliet laws. This is how time flies: Somehow, Marky Mark is now playing the protective dad from Fear.”

“Remembrance of Matinees Past” – Niles Schwartz at l’etoile soaks in nostalgia, accompanied by a glittering screen where everything can be new again.

“Don’t Be That Guy: Basic Summer Outdoor Screening Etiquette” – Amy Nicholson at LA Weekly encourages making out and sharing your wine opener.

“WHY THE EDGE OF TOMORROW ENDING IS GREAT” – As if you couldn’t tell by the caps, FILM CRIT HULK at Badass Digest celebrates one of his favorite modern summer movies on the same weekend Trans4mers comes out. Great timing.

“The ‘God’ in Godzilla: Godzilla vs Pacific Rim” – Harry Brewis at Smug Film shakes his head at humans who respond to destructive industrialism by building more shit.

“The philosopher Georg Hegel once claimed that in the most abject, horrible outside, one can glimpse one’s own ideas in a new form – what you imagine as the enemy of your society tells you about how you and your society already function in the first place. Anti-semitism, for example, is defined entirely by its perceived enemies. Where Pacific Rim fails is that it pitches the kaiju as ‘just’ alien monsters trying to destroy us. Godzilla’s brilliance lies in that it doesn’t ‘just’ have cool monsters that fight – the fight means something. The fight, for all its effects, is inherently real, and important.”

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