George Clooney Can Blow Up Goats with His Mind

In the Senationalist Headline department today, we've received news that the embodied reincarnation of Hollywood's Golden Age is going to challenge the limits of an audiences patience by staring at a goat on screen for two hours.

In the Senationalist Headline department today, we’ve received news that the embodied reincarnation of Hollywood’s Golden Age is going to challenge the limits of an audiences patience by staring at a goat on screen for two hours.

The press release was from Cannes and in French, so I’m pretty sure that’s what it said.

Either that, or it claimed Clooney was signed up to headline an adaptation of Jon Ronson’s “The Men Who Stare at Goats”, a true account of the United States military attempting to use paranormal abilities in combat. Although the program was created in the late 1970s, it certainly has applications to the current military paradigm because it still exists in some form.

Funny with deadly serious consequences, it’s a really good look at a group of individuals who felt that creating the super-soldier meant training them to walk through walls, become invisible and cause our caprine friends to explode using telekineses.

Details are still to be worked out, but I’d still like to see Clooney stare down a goat for two hours. It could join the league of experimental greats like Andy Warhol’s “Sleep”. Besides, it’s time Clooney stepped his career up a notch or two.

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