Full stream ahead!
Put down your mojitos and toss out your sun hats — it’s fall, baby! The season of dead leaves, decorative gourds, and an overwhelming amount of small screen content. No. Seriously. What lush hell the era of peak TV hath wrought.
Just like the changing of the seasons, the sudden tidal wave of fall tv happens every year — and yet every year it catches us off guard. When did it get so cold? When did that very busy celeb have time to shoot an entire Netflix series? How are you going to cram in all this prime time content into your eye sockets?
Fear not, for I come bearing gifts: a guide, to ease your struggle and cut through the cacophony. There are only so many hours in the day…especially as we near winter. Having a plan of attack is essential when there’s this much content vying for your precious views.
Below are our recommendations for the shows you should actually give a shit about; highlights from the fall roster, as well as a comprehensive list of all the shows coming out in the following months. Caution: with some exceptions, we’ve left out reality TV, kids shows, and TV movies.
Full stream ahead:
Our own Liz Baessler says it best: It Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a beautiful show about horrible people. And as it enters its thirteenth (thirteenth!) season, It’s Always Sunny lives up to its reputation as proof of “the power of a camcorder and a dream.” And if the Time’s Up jokes and unsettling Dennis sex-doll snippets from the trailer weren’t enough proof that the gang’s still got it, Season 13’s premiere episode is called “The Gang Makes Paddy’s Great Again.” Oh boy.
Apart from a couple true-to-form teasers in which scorpions claw their way out of pomegranates we don’t have a lot of details about the latest entry in Ryan Murphy’s ooky spooky anthology series. What we do know is that it’s a crossover season with previous entrants Murder House and Coven, which means witches and Satan, baby. And hey, who knows, maybe even an actual satanic witch baby. Actors will be putting in double time in multiple roles, there’s going to be a “very high concept” fifth episode, and, most importantly everyone’s favorite occult aunt Stevie Nicks is back.
SO, THIS HAPPENED… pic.twitter.com/ZgRcG7anIF
— BoJack Horseman (@BoJackHorseman) September 21, 2017
At the end of season four, everyone’s favorite failed 90s sitcom star learned the truth about Hollyhock’s biological parents and was geared up to star in the online series “Philbert” — albeit, against his knowledge (Princess Carolyn forged his signature on the contract). BoJack has distinguished itself as one of the small screen’s most heartbreaking and hilarious offerings, by running the emotional gamut of celebrity, trauma, and depression. With season four’s uncharacteristically optimistic conclusion, here’s hoping BoJack and friends enjoy a little peace before the well of sadness is invariably back in business.
Sometimes your marriage gets stuck in a rut and you have to spice things up. The brainchild of Parks and Recreation vets Alan Yang (Master of None) and Matt Hubbard (30 Rock), Forever sees June and Oscar trapped in suburban limbo, and looking for a change. Which naturally means taking a (seemingly harmless) recreational ski trip. But the knife, too-big bonfire, and dead stares in the trailer hint at something darker.
Based on a 2014 Norwegian series of the same name, True Detective creator Cary Fukunaga is back at it, promising mystery, style, and compelling performances from heavy hitters/Superbad cast-mates Hill and Stone. Maniac sees two strangers participating in a pharmaceutical trial, hoping to fix their respectively broken brains with a wonder drug. But as the pair grow closer, things get trippy (aka some multi-reality brain magic shit).
Mark your calendars and stock up on tissues, the weepy time-hopping soap is back! As teased at the end of season two’s devastating crock-pot episode, season 3 will feature Jack’s time in Vietnam, as well as a whole host of “oh wow—didn’t see that coming”s. With burning questions to spare (who is the “her” Randall is going to see??) and new character focuses like Miguel, and Jack’s brother Nicky, season three shows no signs of slowing down the drama train.
Oh, fork yes. Last we saw them, the judge (Maya Rudolph) sent the gang back to Earth (in a new timeline where they didn’t die) to prove their goodness. The finale focused on Eleanor’s struggles to live morally after her near-death experience, but after some gentle nudging by incognito Michael, she flies to Australia to meet Chidi. Of season three’s change of venue, Kristen Bell explains: “[we’re] all left on Earth separately…and what we learned from the first two seasons is that our strengths come when we’re together.” Aw.
The first anthology series for Amazon, The Romanoffs brings a modern-day focus to the infamous historical subject of whether the Russian royal bloodline survived its supposed extinction in 1918. With a head honcho in Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner, each episode will feature “a different cast, a different story, and a different location,” but retain the same guiding principle: namely, the belief of being of Romanov descent and, in Weiner’s words, a “questioning [of] who we are and who we say we are.”
This fall, Netflix is adapting the New York Times best-seller and James Beard Award-winning “Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat,” into a four-part docu-series and we should be so lucky. Chef, TV personality, and author Samin Nosrat will be our culinary guide through Japan, Italy, Mexico, and her old haunt Chez Panisse. Nosrat is one of the great cooking teachers and does a great job demystifying the kitchen and making an edible education accessible. Think a practical response to Chef’s Table.
An adaptation of the 1960s-set comic of the same name (penned by showrunner Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa), Chilling Adventures follows a young Sabrina Spellman as she struggles to choose between a mortal life and being a full-blown witch. There’s a character called Madam Satan. All the promotional materials give me macabre and teen drama jush. Look Chilling Adventures, if you’re going to put “occult” and “coming of age” in the same sentence, at least buy me dinner first.
I have gone on record that Castlevania is the best video game movie of all time. Sure, it’s not technically a movie (it’s four 30-minute episodes), but why quibble over semantics? Season 1 actually felt like it lived in the same creative world as its interactive predecessors; it crackled with wit, irreverent bloodlust, and the capital-g Gothic. And blessed be, season 2 will be twice as long and, by default, twice as bloody.
Netflix’s first home run original series is coming to a close. The final run of the now-controversy marred political thriller sees Claire Underwood in the oval office. Which, in light of the sexual misconduct allegations against Kevin Spacey, was absofuckinglutely the right move. Confirmed as interim President at the end of the last season, Claire will offer a new course-corrected (but probably just as maniacal) perspective to bookend the series.
https://twitter.com/Gingerhazing/status/1018926076389556224
Produced by the folks behind Lumberjanes and Steven Universe, She-Ra promises kickass magical girls, a rebellion against evil, and warrior princess whimsy. Early promo pics show character designs that are less video vixen, so much as reflective of the show’s younger target audience. In other words: they look like goddamn people. Which is great! Reboots shouldn’t be rehashes! The “how am I supposed to fap to this children’s cartoon” jerks can choke on a sword! The hype is real!
In this upcoming, Ben Stiller-directed limited series, Clinton Correctional Facility employee Tillie (Arquette) decides to help the two inmates she has been bonking (del Toro and Dano) escape from prison. A manhunt ensues. Based on a real prison break from 2015, Escape at Dannemora wafts of Fargo-like stranger-than-fiction, quirk, and character. The people love true crime!
Cathedral of the Sea (Netflix)
My Cat From Hell (Animal Planet)
Sisters (Netflix)
Married to Medicine (Bravo)
A Place to Call Home (Acorn TV)
Snapped: Notorious BTK Serial Killer (Oxygen)
Twisted Sisters (ID)
Mayans M.C. (FX)
The Purge (USA)
Model Squad (E!)
The Bobby Brown Story (BET)
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FXX)
I Love You, America (Hulu)
Marvel’s Iron Fist (Netflix)
Atypical (Netflix)
Cable Girls (Netflix)
City of Joy (Netflix)
Sierra Burgess is a Loser (Netflix)
Stretch Armstrong & the Flex Fighters (Netflix)
FLCL Alternative (Adult Swim)
Behind Closed Doors (Reelz)
Rel (FOX)
The Bad Seed (Lifetime)
Shameless (Showtime)
The Deuce (HBO)
Kidding (Showtime)
You (Lifetime)
The Last Ship (TNT)
The Miniaturist (PBS)
The 2018 Black Girls Rock! Awards (BET)
Swiped (HBO)
Daniel Sloss: Live Shows (Netflix)
American Horror Story: Apocalypse (FX)
On my skin (Netflix)
American Junkie (Viceland)
Snatch (Crackle)
The Oslo Diaries (HBO)
To Catch a Killer (ID)
BoJack Horseman (Netflix)
Forever (Amazon)
The First (Hulu)
The Dragon Prince (Netflix)
Ingobernable (Netflix)
American Vandal (Netflix)
The Angel (Netflix)
Deadly Women (ID)
In Plain Sight (ID)
The Land of Steady Habits (Netflix)
Norm Macdonald Has a Show (Netflix)
The Wrong Friend (Lifetime)
The World’s Most Extraordinary Homes (Netflix)
Car Masters: Rust to Riches (Netflix)
Cops (Paramount Network)
Creative Arts Emmy Awards (FXX)
Deaf Out Loud (A&E)
Unspeakable Crime: The Killing of Jessica Chambers (Oxygen)
The Circus (Showtime)
Warriors of Liberty City (Starz)
The Emmys (NBC)
Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Nickelodeon)
70th Primetime Emmy Awards (NBC)
Inside the Manson Cult: The Lost Tapes (Fox)
The Hunt for the Trump Tapes with Tom Arnold (Viceland)
D.L. Hughley: Contrarian (Netflix)
Dead Lucky (Sundance Now)
The Good Cop (Netflix)
Maniac (Netflix)
Quincy (Netflix)
Nappily Ever After (Netflix)
Hilda (Netflix)
Pete the Cat (Amazon)
9-1-1 (FOX)
Anne of Green Gables: Fire & Dew (PBS)
The Voice (NBC)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
Young Sheldon (CBS)
The Resident (FOX)
Dancing With the Stars (ABC)
Magnum P.I. (CBS)
Manifest (NBC)
Bull (CBS)
The Good Doctor (ABC)
Jane Fonda in Five Acts (HBO)
NCIS (CBS)
The Gifted (FOX)
This Is Us (NBC)
FBI (CBS)
Lethal Weapon (FOX)
New Amsterdam (NBC)
NCIS: New Orleans (CBS)
Mr. Inbetween (FX)
The Goldbergs (ABC)
American Housewife (ABC)
Chicago Med (NBC)
Empire (FOX)
Survivor (CBS)
Modern Family (ABC)
Single Parents (ABC)
Big Brother (CBS)
Chicago Fire (NBC)
Star (FOX)
Chicago P.D. (NBC)
A Million Little Things (ABC)
South Park (Comedy Central)
The Good Place (NBC)
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
Mom (CBS)
Murphy Brown (CBS)
Law & Order: SVU (NBC)
How to Get Away With Murder (ABC)
S.W.A.T. (CBS)
The Last Man Standing (FOX)
The Cool Kids (FOX)
MacGyver (CBS)
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS)
Blue Bloods (CBS)
Hell’s Kitchen (FOX)
Dateline (NBC)
Chef’s Table (Netflix)
King Lear (Amazon)
Crimetime Saturday (CBS)
48 Hours (CBS)
America’s Funniest Home Videos (ABC)
The Simpsons (FOX)
Bob’s Burgers (FOX)
Family Guy (FOX)
God Friended Me (CBS)
NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)
The Durrells in Corfu (PBS)
Poldark (PBS)
The Neighbourhood (CBS)
Happy Together (CBS)
Seal Team (CBS)
Criminal Minds (CBS)
Superstore (NBC)
Will & Grace (NBC)
I Feel Bad (NBC)
Station 19 (ABC)
Law & Order: SVU (NBC)
Fresh Off the Road (ABC)
Speechless (ABC)
Child Support (ABC)
Into the Dark (Hulu)
The Man in the High Castle (Amazon)
Flight of the Conchords: Live at the London Apollo (HBO)
Versailles (Ovation)
Dancing With the Stars: Juniors (ABC)
Madam Secretary (CBS)
Shark Tank (ABC)
The Walking Dead (AMC)
The Flash (The CW)
Black Lightning (The CW)
Riverdale (The CW)
All American (The CW)
Supernatural (The CW)
Dynasty (The CW)
Blindspot (NBC)
The Romanoffs (Amazon)
Light as a Feather (Hulu)
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (The CW)
Supergirl (The CW)
Charmed (The CW)
Camping (HBO)
The Alec Baldwin Show (ABC)
Arrow (The CW)
The Conners (ABC)
The Kids are Alright (ABC)
black-ish (ABC)
Splitting Up Together (ABC)
The Rookie (ABC)
Loudermilk (Audience)
Lore (Amazon)
Salt Fat Acid Heat (Netflix)
The Woman in White (PBS)
DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (The CW)
Legacies (The CW)
Native America (PBS)
Deutschland 86 (Sundance)
Midnight, Texas (NBC)
Castlevania (Netflix)
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Netflix)
Ray Donovan (Showtime)
Stan Against Evil (IFC)
Homecoming (Amazon)
House of Cards (Netflix)
Into the Dark: Flesh & Blood (Hulu)
Outlander (Starz)
Outlaw King (Netflix)
Mars (Nat Geo)
The Kominsky Method (Netflix)
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix)
Escape at Dannemora (Showtime)
Vikings (History)
Springsteen on Broadway (Netflix)
The Runaways (Hulu)
The Orville (FOX)