Rob Hunter loves movies. He also loves betting on the ponies. These two joys come together in the form of cash money payments that he receives every week and immediately uses to buy more DVDs. So join us each week as he takes a look at new DVD releases and gives his highly unqualified opinion as to which titles are worth BUYing, which are better off as RENTals, and which should be AVOIDed at all costs.
Click on any of the titles below to magically head over to Amazon.com and pick up the DVD.
The Seventh Seal (Criterion)
Pitch: Brewmeister Smith attempts to outwit Death during a game of grown-up checkers
Why Buy? I’d be lying if I said I’ve been a fan of Ingmar Bergman’s films for a long time. Hell, I’d be lying if I said I was a fan of Bergman’s films. But The Seventh Seal is the sole exception in my experience with the overly-praised Swedish director. I’m already a sucker for films featuring the character of Death (Scrooged!), but Bergman’s 1957 classic is also filled with fantastic dialogue and stark visuals. Behind the pretension, both real and imagined, is a smart, engaging, and thought-provoking movie.
Blu-ray? Yes
Extra Features? Commentary by Bergman expert, multiple featurettes, trailer
Friday the 13th (2009)
Pitch: Jason’s come a long way… it’s the “teens” that are still stupid.
Why Rent? This is the best of the series (yes it’s a reboot, shut it) since Part IV and while that may not be high praise for most folks, fans of the genre know that makes it a movie worth watching. FSR’s Robert Fure calls it the “best in the series.” (review here) I just wish it had some scenes set in the snow! (Oh and natural boobs instead of the unattractive sandbags on display here.)
Blu-ray? Yes
Extra Features? Featurette, deleted scenes
Friday the 13th The Final Chapter
Pitch: Goonies never say die! Well, except for ‘Mouth’… he says it a lot.
Why Rent? For one thing, this is the last Friday the 13th movie. For another, there’s a scene with hot, nude twins swimming in Crystal Lake. So that’s nice. And finally, who can resist little Corey Feldman going ape shit on Jason at the end?
Blu-ray? No
Extra Features? Two commentaries, featurettes, alternate ending, outtakes, trailer
Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning
Pitch: We did it! We killed off our iconic lead character for a fresh new start!
Why Rent? The producers deserve credit for trying to spin things in a different direction here even if we actually get more of the same… kills, boobs, and stupidity.
Blu-ray? No
Extra Features? Commentary, featurettes, outtakes, trailer
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
Pitch: We were just kidding about that fresh start bit…
Why Rent? This was the last somewhat normal entry before things started getting flat-out ridiculous with telekinetic girls and space walks. Not that this flick isn’t strange… there’s no boobage, and Horshak from “Welcome Back, Kotter” is in it for some reason. Even so, it’s not a good movie, and the only reason I’d recommend a rental is if you’ve been checking out the previous re-releases too.
Blu-ray? No
Extra Features? Commentary, featurettes, outtakes, trailer
The Important Thing Is To Love
Pitch: Saucy cover art promises sexiness within…
Why Rent? … and then fails to deliver the sexy. But that’s okay because I never would have picked up this DVD if my perverted eye hadn’t been caught by the cover, and then I would have missed a stellar film. The movie delivers an incredibly engaging drama about willing exploitation, restraint, and the overwhelming necessity of love. Plus crazy ass motherfucker Klaus Kinski!
Blu-ray? No
Extra Features? Commentary, featurettes, trailer
Jesse Stone: Thin Ice
Pitch: Tom Selleck deserves a comeback, so says Fure.
Why Rent? Let’s not pretend this is anything that it isn’t okay? Selleck’s an underrated actor and consistently delivers solid characters on the big and small screen. So if you missed this on TV (where it premiered) check it out for some quality acting, a good mystery, and a nice multi-layered plot. If you like it you’ll be happy to know it’s part of a series of TV films based on Robert Parker novels. If you don’t, well, I guess that makes you a movie snob now doesn’t it.
Blu-ray? No
Extra Features? None
Morning Light
Pitch: …and yaw with a crew of precocious twentysomethings as they race their little Disney hearts out!
Why Rent? For the first few minutes of this new Disney documentary I thought for sure I was going to hell because I couldn’t stop making motor boat noises every time the cute girl with the incredibly bountiful and bouncy rack came onscreen. The movie’s about sailing! Then they revealed this “kid” was twenty-two years old and my conscience was assuaged. The movie is a fairly fun look at the grueling Transpac race from California to Hawaii and the mashing of personalities chosen to take part. The characters lack dramatic depth or conflict, but there are a couple suspenseful bits on the open ocean.
Blu-ray? Yes
Extra Features? Two featurettes
The Cell 2
Pitch: Now with less talent, less booty, and a much smaller budget!
Why Avoid? I’m not a big fan of the first film, but at least that one was visually stunning. This direct-to-DVD “sequel” appears to have been shot in someone’s basement.
Blu-ray? Yes
Extra Features? Featurette
Madea Goes To Jail
Pitch: Tyler Perry gets cornholed and shived!
Why Avoid? I just don’t get the attraction to Perry in a dress and wig. He was mildly annoying in his two minutes of Star Trek, but as Madea he’s even more obnoxious. Some may call it a cultural disconnect… I prefer to call it taste.
Blu-ray? No
Extra Features? Two featurettes, outtakes
Skid Marks
Pitch: Truth in advertising
Why Avoid? The title implies something shitty… and they don’t disappoint. At least it foregoes the PG-13 sex comedy route we’ve been seeing lately and adds in foul humor and plenty of boobs. So that’s something I guess.
Blu-ray? No
Extra Features? Two featurettes, deleted scenes
Terror At Blood Fart Lake
Pitch: Blood fart? Points for vivid imagery anyway…
Why Avoid? Pretty self explanatory isn’t it?
Blu-ray? Shockingly, no
Extra Features? Music video
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Related Topics: Friday the 13th, Home Video
