Highlighting Can’t Miss Comic-Con Panels

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What caught my eye in the massive schedule breakdown.

I’m trying to remember when nerd culture became the zeitgeist of my era… I imagine it all started with the moon landing, it being one of the greatest awe-inspiring events in human history, exponentially heightened by a medium – TV – that allowed for nearly the entire world to partake in the moment together. That was a huge win for nerds, even if the idols created from it – Armstrong and Aldrin – were hunkier and jockier than the scientists and mathematicians in the background that made it all possible. Bill Gates is the epitome of a nerd, but yet he’s super-successful; he gave Earth a device that enables me to watch pornogra… I mean, study the teachings of Jesus Christ whenever and wherever I want; and he’s infamous for his business acumen and dominating, competitive zeal. Reading comic books was always an endeavor undertaken by nerds and nerds alone until Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and the rest of the omega humans and humanoids took over the big screen and started accumulating billions of dollars, transcending all boundaries of the heretofore culture of nerd. And I love it all!

I knew Comic-Con was a big event, but I didn’t realize how much of it wasn’t just a stage for Marvel to announce X-Men 14: Cyclops Finally Doesn’t Miss and Fantastic Four 3 (not a threequel, but the third reboot). According to this massive schedule, Comic-Con features a four day bonanza of hundreds of panels, ranging from all things comic book related, things semi-related to comic books, and things having nothing at all to do with comic books. Literally, anything and everything can be featured, and if I were attending, the following programs not relating to your inevitable Aquaman and Dr. Strange sensory overloaders of information would be can’t miss items on my agenda.

Thursday, July 21: Snowden

(You see what I mean? What does a movie about Edward Snowden have to do with comics?) Oliver Stone was an auteur of an unequaled mix of ambition and unorthodox filmmaking in the 90s, but hasn’t done much of anything recently that I’ve personally cared for. An all-timer favorite for me of his is JFK. It took faulty facts and easily scrutinized theories and created a movie that made me 100% believe that the assassination of President Kennedy was a conspiracy created by an omnipresent, Orwellian version of our government. I’m excited to see how he handles the Snowden situation.

Thursday, July 21: Bring Your Idea to Hollywood

The FilmSchoolRejects name takes inspiration from the idea of a failed cinephile attempting to break through in the biz and being denied at one of the earliest, most vital stages. Like myself, I imagine many of the readers of this site have had varying degrees of aspirations to be involved in the process of filmmaking in some regard, so this might be enjoyable to listen to.

Thursday, July 21: The 19th Annual Superhero Kung Fu Extravaganza

I don’t even need to read the description. Sorry whatever program I just talked about before this one that’s in this same time slot. You’ve been bumped and forgotten.

Friday, July 22: Inside The Big Bang Theory Writers’ Room

I really want to know why The Big Bang Theory is not funny. I’d say I’ve watched 36 total minutes of The Big Bang Theory by accident through commercials and leaving the TV on TBS as the show starts and forgetting where I left the remote and then frantically scrambling to unplug and/or smash my TV as fast as possible and OMG IT’S STILL ON AND HE JUST SAID BAZINGA AND THE LAUGH TRACK IS ON FULL FORCE AND PLEASE SOMEONE HELP! I’d probably be kicked out of this event because of relentless heckling. Or I’d die from internal hemorrhaging.

Friday, July 22: Game of Thrones Panel and Q&A Session

Game of Thrones just wrapped up its sixth season with two of the best episodes in the entire series. GoT is life, and I could listen to the cast and crew talk about any trivial detail they see fit for an incalculable amount of time. An hour is not going to be enough.

Saturday, July 23: Powerpuff Girls Panel

If you don’t know who Genndy Tartakovsky is, then a) what’s wrong with you? and b) click this link to his wiki page. Go ahead and skim it, I’ll wait… Done? Don’t lie! Mr. Tarakovsky has created some of the most beautiful animation styles, especially in the realm of action sequences. His Star Wars: Clone Wars (which you can watch here and should) was so astoundingly fantastic, it’s one of only two things that make me happy the Star Wars prequel-verse exists (the other being the theories of Jar Jar Binks being a secret Sith lord, which is hilarious). I really hope he’s involved in this new Powerpuff Girls series.

Saturday, July 23: Aliens: 30th Anniversary

When meeting and judging new people, I usually have a default question to ask them to know everything I need to know about them: are you a bigger Ridley Scott’s Alien fan or James Cameron’s Aliens fan? There’s only four possible responses. 1) “I haven’t seen them.” A variation of this answer is they’ve only seen one of them. Both are equally ridiculous, and I would cut all communications with them forever at that exact moment. 2) “I like them both equally.” Cop-out answer. Everybody has a preference. I force them to pick or punch them in their stupid, undecided face. 3) “Alien.” It is a great movie, but they’re wrong. So, so wrong. 4) “Aliens.” The right answer.

Saturday, July 23: Bronies: Fans of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Don’t judge me.

Saturday, July 23: Mystery Science Theater 3000 is Back

Yes, it wasn’t always funny. And yes, the stuff in-between them making fun of the terrible movie wasn’t always funny. But when the jokes hit just right, or they picked a movie so perfect as to be ridiculed, it’s nearly impossible to find a show with a higher deep, gut-wrenching laugh per joke ratio than MST3K.

I think things happen at Comic-Con on Sunday as well, but there is no better climax than MST3K. It’d feel right to leave on such a high note.