‘Bloody Valentine’ Director Might Direct ‘Halloween 3D’

By  · Published on September 8th, 2009

I get tired of talking about 3D just like everyone else. It’s the cinematic equivalent of claiming that a movie comes with free popcorn. In fact, I may just start writing headlines like “Iron Man 2 to Offer Free Popcorn to Moviegoers.” But I won’t, because it’d be misleading, and people would get way too excited about their free popcorn, a theater treat that’s more delicious than having a yo-yo fly at your face. Plus, you can’t put far too much butter on the third dimension.

So there you have it. I’ve proven that popcorn is better than 3D. A timeless debate has finally been settled.

With that out the way, I feel it’s my great pleasure to announce that Patrick Lussier, the man who directed My Bloody Valentine: Now With Free Popcorn is in talks with the Weinsteins to write and direct their next Michael Myers trip down memory lane – Halloween: Now With Free Popcorn. Obviously, he’s a solid choice because of his prior popcorn experience embedded within a horror formula. I also have no doubt that Lussier can kill some damned teenagers with ease.

I find myself suddenly caring again after seeing the exit of Rob Zombie from the franchise – a man who wouldn’t understand filmmaking if he read a book on it. Yes, I realize that analogy is more direct than my normal ones, but I refuse to expend that many brain cells even when mocking Zombie.

So now Michael Myers has a new puppet master, or soon will at least.

What do you think?

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