Action Helmer Morel Soon to Be Big in Japan

Pierre Morel (best known to those who still insist on calling them “freedom fries” as the director of Taken) is slated to helm an action/espionage thriller set in Tokyo.

Pierre Morel (best known to those who still insist on calling them “freedom fries” as the director of Taken) is slated to helm an action/espionage thriller set in Tokyo.

Variety sums up the plot of said unnamed flick thusly: “Story follows a CIA operative, stationed in Japan but on the verge of retirement, who is ordered to carry out a final mission. He finds himself caught in the middle of an international conspiracy.”

The takeaway message here — and in Taken — is that CIA agents never really retire. They’re just put on ice for awhile until it’s time to crack some muthafuckin’ heads.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t see how this can be anything but good news. For starters, anything associated with Japan is instantly awesome (see: Hello Kitty, Audition and the Datsun B210 (yes, the B stands for Badass).

Second, the fight scenes and overall pace of Taken were pants-shittingly great. Morel pushed the violence into hard PG-13 territory with aplomb, always suggesting more gore than we actually saw. That’s the mark of a great visual storyteller. He knows how to milk what’s not shown to thrill the audience.

If there’s any quibble for me about Morel’s style, it’s this: The brother needs to figure out how to present car chases. A good car chase (and this goes for you too, Marc Fucking Forster) does not consist of a spastic assemblage of shaky close-ups. When there’s a car chase on, I like to actually see who’s driving what and what the fuck’s going on.

I think both Morel and Forster could stand a good talking-to from the likes of Michael Bay, Justin Lin and Zombie John Frankenheimer.

But like I said, that’s just a quibble. Don’t mind me when I start a-quibblin’. Quibble. Quibble. Quibble. *BELCH* Quibble.

J.L. Sosa: