Iron Man 3 is a movie I’ve seen, and if you’re reading this I sincerely trust that you have too. Why? Two reasons. First, you should see it because it’s a pretty fun flick. And second? I’m about to unload spoilers below of epic proportions.
My review is elsewhere on the site, and you should probably give it a read so you can call me names for the grade I gave it. The movie has issues, and more than that it leaves us with some serious questions. Again, and obviously, there are spoilers below regarding things that happen and who they happen to so tread lightly.
I mean, come on. You gave your address to a terrorist famous for blowing things up, and you don’t even have a radar system or surface-to-air missiles? Even beyond the threat posed by the Mandarin, how about the hundreds of other bad guys lining up to take you down? Tony Stark has always been filled with hubris, but he’s never been such an idiot before.
Seriously. Pepper falls into a suit and can drive it relatively fine (women drivers and all that), but when Rhodey asks for one of the dozens flying around aimlessly in a scene where he’s in real danger Stark tells him, sorry, but they’re programmed specifically to him? This either makes no sense or Stark was playing a prank, and if it’s the latter that’s a pretty crappy and dangerous prank to pull.
So the goal was to create super soldiers, but the side effect is that you’re turned into a nuclear furnace? Or a fire-breathing bastard? Or a bomb? And even if it made you stronger, how does that translate into knowing acrobatic combat moves?
Yeah, yeah, this is an Iron Man movie, but it’s set after The Avengers for a reason. This isn’t simply an attack on Iron Man either. Americans are dying, and the President is under attack… Seems like an ideal case for Nick Fury and the rest of the team to maybe show some interest in, right? Obviously they couldn’t all come running, but a single line explaining why none of them did would have been nice.
And side question, was this move really necessary? As someone who’s never read the comics I have no dog in this fight, but it’s a pretty ballsy move taking a legendary, much-loved villain from the comics and revealing that he basically doesn’t exist. They’ve left themselves no real wiggle room here either because if Kingsley ends up actually being the Mandarin, having simply played Hans Gruber/Bill Clay to Stark’s John McClane, then that’s going to be stupid.
But would an actor have been so clueless as to what he was getting into? And, sure, Killian screamed out that he was the Mandarin near the end, but then he blew the hell up, so he’s not coming back.
So Stark has shrapnel in his chest that can’t be removed because he’ll die or something like that, right? So he builds that arc reactor to keep him alive and to power the suit. Except now he decides at the end of the film that he’s done playing hero and just has the shrapnel and reactor removed? Is this supposed to be like Superman giving up his powers in the ice caves only to realize he really, really needs them later?
This tattoo would make little sense if this really was the Mandarin, but it makes even less sense seeing as the Mandarin isn’t a real villain. The good Captain has nothing to do with this movie so it’s not like the Mandarin was pretending to target him or anything. Is there a scene on the cutting room floor where he kills Captain America and gets the tattoo to commemorate it like gang members and their tear drops?
I’m guesstimating the in-suit time, but I’m probably erring on the side of generosity. Most of the film is Stark running around in non-iron clothing, and several times even when he’s in the suit he isn’t really in the suit – he’s remote controlling it or letting Jarvis fly. It takes away something from Iron Man’s mystique when he comes down to being nothing more than a tin R/C toy.
This is probably the most important question of all. I know additional scenes were filmed for the cut released in China, and I know they feature Chinese stars to make the Chinese people happy, but I don’t understand why those scenes couldn’t be included in our cut too. I like Chinese people. Especially Fan Bingbing.
Do you have any lingering questions about Iron Man 3?