Never Seen a Star Wars Film? We Got You

By  · Published on December 14th, 2016

A pair of videos will get you up to speed in less than twelve parsecs*.

So let’s say you’ve never seen a Star Wars film, but with all the hype surrounding Rogue One you’re intrigued and feeling like it might be a good point to jump into the saga because this film’s a standalone, sort of. You know it has something to do with the first three movies – not the first three, the original three, which are the second three, right?— and you pretty much get the gist of those, everybody does, they’re a part of our cultural consciousness. In fact, even if you’ve never seen a single minute of a Star Wars movie, if pressed, you could probably describe the rough overarching plot of A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi solely based on what you’ve gleaned just by being alive in the 21st century.

Filmmaker Joe Nicolosi discovered this phenomena firsthand when he learned that despite having never seen a Star Wars movie, his friend Amanda felt confident she could accurately sum up the story of Episodes IV, V, and VI. So he made her prove it.

The result is a cross between Drunk History and MST3K as Nicolosi pairs a voice recording of Amanda’s summary with some “very basic animation” that brings her version of events to life. And you know what? She basically gets it right, though she takes a hilariously erroneous path in getting there. Whether you know the movies or not, this video will have you crying with laughter by the time it’s over. And at just three minutes long, it’s as concise as it is entertaining.

But on the off-chance you’ve seriously never seen a Star Wars film, somehow found yourself on our site anyway, and clicked here seeking legitimate enlightenment, allow me to give you an actual, even more concise encapsulation of the original films. It comes courtesy of Burger Fiction and it tells you everything you need to know about its content in its title: “The Star Wars Trilogy in 90 Seconds.” Between these two videos, you’ll know your Ewoks from Wookies and Sarlaacs from womp rats in less than five minutes. And yes, those are all real things. Just watch.

* Before you even come at me, I know a “parsec” is a unit of distance and not time. Take it up with Lucas.

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