You knew it would come eventually. Movies made after its release more than 22 years ago have been redone, so it’s not surprising to hear that they’re finally remaking Jurassic Park. Obviously this decision is due to the enormous success of last summer’s Jurassic World, which is not just the top-grossing movie of the year but also the third highest-grossing movie of all time, both domestically and worldwide. Steven Spielberg, who directed the 1993 version, will not be involved but has given his blessing.
How can they remake a movie at the same time they’re producing more sequels to the original? Well, technically the forthcoming sequels will be titled Jurassic World 2 and 3 (or something non-numerical using the Jurassic World name), so a reboot of the first trilogy won’t conflict with the new series, or so Universal is betting. If Fox can reboot the X-Men franchise while also keeping the original run’s actors for spinoffs and time travel plots, why not this?
“This is an opportunity to do something no other studio has tried before,” studio head Ron Meyer said in a statement, regarding the simultaneity of the two incarnations of the same property. “We plan to honor the excellent job done by Steven Spielberg with the brilliant first adaptation of Michael Crichton’s novel, while also improving on its groundbreaking visual and sound effects achievements. And we’ll get The Lost World right this time, too.”
I had you for a moment, didn’t I? No, none of the above is true, but it actually isn’t that implausible, is it? Executives at Universal have probably even thought about it, maybe discussed it, even if pretending to be kidding. Here’s why it could actually be the next ridiculous idea from Hollywood:
Fox is also the studio that seemed to be trying something sort of like this by developing Alien sequels and prequels (the latter being Prometheus sequels) simultaneously before squashing the idea. The closest thing to parallel versions of a franchise happening at the same time is probably when the Thunderball remake Never Say Never Again hit theaters the same summer as an official James Bond movie, Octopussy came out. This news also appears to be the next step for Hollywood on the heels of Simon Kinberg revealing that Warner Bros. is now planning for its long-gestating Logan’s Run remake to be influenced by the Hunger Games franchise, which itself was clearly influenced by the original Logan’s Run.
“It’s something that potentially is their Hunger Games kind of franchise that is about a younger audience for a younger audience with a big idea,” Kinberg told Collider. “And Logan’s Run, as you know, is the granddaddy of Maze Runner and Hunger Games and so many of these books and movies now.”
The industry is becoming more and more cyclical, and of course the studios are beginning to realize that a remake of an old movie can’t depend on the familiar title alone anymore. It also needs a comparison to an even more familiar current property. Like how the Poltergeist redo referenced The Grudge in its ads. The Magnificent Seven remake will possibly cash in on the popularity of The Hateful Eight. We’ll finally get the WarGames remake after the success of Ready Player One.
The only reason people wanted Chris Pratt for an Indiana Jones reboot was because people like his Indiana Jones-like characters in Guardians of the Galaxy and Jurassic World. And of course the Strangers on a Train remake will sold on its similarities to Gone Girl, mainly thanks to it having the same writer and director team of Gillian Flynn and David Fincher (moviegoers may also be reminded of the similarly titled The Girl on the Train, which is also being sold on its likeness to Gone Girl).
But the Jurassic Park redo would be a slightly different animal. Remakes typically capitalize on the success of the original property and its offshoots, but this is an extreme take on the notion, and a totally ironic one given just how much Jurassic World already felt like a bloated rehash of its own origins. Of course, if it was to happen it’d surely also prove to be the most commercially triumphant idea anyone in Hollywood has ever had.
Note: This post has been altered from its original form to clarify which parts are jokes.