Some great Lovecraftian horror has emerged from the blackest depths of the deepest oceans, and slowly it makes its way towards our shores. With a ponderous and slow gait it urges forward, little by little, until all life and civilization is extinguished by fear and despair beyond human comprehension.
Its name: Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Movie.
It probably won’t be a death knell for humankind (although you never know), but Alcon Entertainment has indeed secured the rights for both a Chicken Soup for the Soul movie and TV show. For now, the only concrete plans involve the film. Deadline Hollywood reports that Brandon Camp, writer of Love Happens, will be handling the screenplay duties, while Jordan Kerner of the Kerner Entertainment Company will be producing alongside Alcon. Kerner’s previous credits include both The Smurfs and The Smurfs 2, while Alcon was behind the similarly sappy The Blind Side. No director has been announced as of yet.
Expect Chicken Soup to be one of those unbearably schmaltzy romance-anthology pictures like Valentine’s Day or New Year’s Eve, complete with a series of intertwining stories about self-help and optimism and all kinds of uplifting dribble. With luck, actual book will be nowhere in sight – a film based on Chicken Soup is bad enough, but a film where every character finds solace by reading Chicken Soup is a concept I’d rather not think about. Either way, it’ll likely be the cinematic equivalent of a bowl of chicken soup, loaded up with far too much chicken fat and a few servings of actors either long past their prime or who could use a better agent.
I’ll be there on opening night – but only to ward this monstrosity back to the briny deep from whence it came.