Twilight: Breaking Dawn

Oh, Twilight. Just when it seemed we were free from the grip you had on pop culture, with your sexy vampires and sexy werewolves and so much insipid, dead-eyed romance, you find a way to claw back into the spotlight one final time: through the magic of DVD bonus features. And one bonus feature in particular manages to be truly, legitimately frightening – something strangely absent in a series of vampire movies. Exclusive to Yahoo! is a glimpse at “Chuckesmee,” the unfortunately nicknamed and unfortunate-looking abomination that appears at the top of this article. You may remember (and if you don’t, be grateful) that the last two Twilights featured protagonist Bella (Kristen Stewart) giving birth to a soulless bundle of CGI that she dutifully raised until it became human(ish). Well, “Chuckesmee” (a portmanteau of the killer doll Chucky and the embarrassingly awful Twilight moniker Renesmee) was originally how Bella’s vampire progeny was to be portrayed in the films. Go ahead and watch the clip below to see just how unsettling this thing looks in motion.

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In an off week at the box office, it was the battle of three holdover releases, with all of the new films dropping well down the charts. From Killing Them Softly‘s lukewarm 7th place finish to horror film The Collection, it was not a great weekend to be new to theaters. The films with previously built success — from the wildly passionate fanbase film (Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2) to the one with a half-century of history (Skyfall) to the one with Oscar written all over it (Lincoln) — were the ones that brought home the bank in an otherwise warm weekend.

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With an estimated opening weekend of $141.3m, it’s not hard to foresee a future in which The Twilight Saga makes some sort of cinematic comeback. Breaking Dawn – Part 2 may be the “final” entry in this series, but a money train like this is hard to stop. We’re reminded of this as we see a new Star Wars (the last of which opened higher than any other Star Wars movie at $108m on opening weekend) back in development. To say the very least, the Summit Entertainment accounting department is not impressed with your dancing on the vampire romance saga’s grave. It’s already working on a script for three more films starring a CGI sparkly child.

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THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2

The fine folks over at MTV had a special statue-delivering party last night, and they took a small break to take a little look at Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2. This is the first we’re hearing of the supposedly giant film. Jokes aside, doesn’t it feel that way? Doesn’t it feel like the end of a worldwide phenomenon has been shockingly silent throughout the year? And how would you combat that silence if you’re a potential event movie? Have Kristen Stewart tackle a Goddamned mountain lion. Then enjoy a delightful Christmas celebration. Check it out for yourself:

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The Year in Review: Box Office

Here’s how the Christmas weekend broke down: Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol – $29.5m (+130.7%) $61.9m total Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows – $20.2m (-48.9%) $79m total The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo – $12.7m NEW $21.1m since Tuesday release Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked – $12.5m (-45.9%) $49.5m total The Adventures of Tintin – $9.7m NEW $17.7m since Wednesday release We Bought a Zoo – $9.3m NEW War Horse – $7.5m NEW released Christmas Day New Year’s Eve – $3.3m (-54.7%) $32.6m total The Darkest Hour – $3m NEW released Christmas Day The Muppets – $2.1m (-39.1%) $75.7m total Yes, we usually save this chart for the end of the recapping Reject Report, but this week is about the year, not the weekend.

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The Reject Report

And you all slept through it, didn’t you? It’s okay. I mean, it’s not THAT big of a surprise, really. We knew the latest Twilight outing would be strong competition for anyone, even those lovable Muppets.What surprised me was how much The Muppets dropped here in only its second weekend out. While other family fare were coming in with drops under 40%, The Muppets ended up being the biggest drop of all the top 10 films and only pulled another $11m domestically. Evidently most parents wanting to relive their childhood and bring their kids along with them already hit the film up last weekend while stuffed with Thanksgiving dinner. Not many of them came back for a second helping.

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The Reject Report

It’s a rare weekend we’re looking at here. Coming off the big Thanksgiving weekend, we have no new movies opening in wide release. The only new films coming out are in limited, and only one of those is really worth mentioning. So let’s do that right now, shall we? There’s been a lot said about Shame, mostly about what Michael Fassbender brings to the table. Director Steve McQueen required the film to remain…um…uncut from potential buyers, and, thankfully, that’s how the film remains. Of course, that means it’s not getting much of a release here, only nine screen across the nation, but that’s to be expected for this type of Oscar hopeful, art-house flick. Our very own Kate Erbland called Shame “beautiful” and “deeply personal”, and that’s pretty much what most critics are saying about it. Expect a lot of critical acclaim and Oscar nominations for Shame when that time comes. Right now, however, the film won’t be making much of a splash at the box office.

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Movie News: Justified Returns

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column that doesn’t mess around. If it tells you to leave town or else it will shoot you on the spot, then you’d better believe that it will shoot you on the spot. Lucky for you, it would never ask you to leave town. All it asks is that you come back and read on a nightly basis. Or else. We open tonight with a bit of news for your boob tube. FX has set dates for the return of Justified and Archer, two favorite shows of mine. Both are coming back in January. They’ve also given the green light to an animated comedy called Unsupervised, which features the likes of Justin Long, Kristen Bell, Fred Armisen, Romany Malco, Kaitlin Olson and Alexa Vega. It’s about teens who are forced to navigate through life without parental supervision. Either way, did I mention that Justified is coming back? Walton Goggins, man…

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Hell on Wheels

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s preparing for it’s Thanksgiving day off. Lots of movies in its future. So it’s going to make this quick. But don’t worry baby, it isn’t about how long it lasts. It’s about the motion of the ocean. We begin tonight with something very near and dear to my heart: shows that I like. Sure, it’s about television and not movies, but this column, while accused of being many things, has never been accursed of being consistent. Anyway, Vulture is reporting that Hell on Wheels has seen a ratings dip. We need to curb this, people. It’s a damn good show. So watch it and ensure that it doesn’t get cancelled. Seriously. Common is on that show.

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Arrested Development is coming back

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column that never got to go to Motherboy, as it’s not human and does not, as it turns out, have a mother. It will have to take to watching old episodes of Arrested Development to fuel its disfunction. Or perhaps it can watch some new episodes… Tonight’s top story, Arrested Development is coming back. And we have Netflix to thank for it. The DVD rental service turned confused corporate buffoon turned hero to all in the kingdom of nerddom has inked a deal, along with 20th Century Fox, to bring back AD for 10 episodes that will stream exclusively to Netflix subscribers in early 2013. And there’s still a rumor about a movie, but lets not get ahead of ourselves. Editor’s Note: There’s also more news this evening, so keep reading…

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The Munsters are Coming Back

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column that sometimes leads with television news. You know, for the kids. Wait, so the guy who brought the world Pushing Daisies will be doing a modern reboot of The Munsters for NBC? That’s actually not a bad idea. In fact, it could be a lot of fun. Dear NBC, find the person who made this decision — because I know they weren’t the same asshole who pulled Community from the midseason line-up — and promote them to sole decision maker person at NBC. That is what is required of you if you’re going to stave off the loss of my love. That, and more Parks and Rec, please.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column that doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but it will if it doesn’t get exactly what it wants. All it wants, however, is to bring you the news every weeknight and to consume a few cheeseburgers here and there. Nothing much, just links and beef and cheddar. Mmm… cheddar. “Sure, we said that we weren’t going to do any more parody trailers. But we didn’t say anything about parody posters!” Oh Disney, you scoundrels. We begin tonight with a shot of WereRowlf, a character from The Muppet Saga, a parody play from Disney’s The Muppets that came in a package of three posters. If it wasn’t so silly, it would be completely stupid. But it’s the Muppets, so I can’t help but giggle.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a thing about movies that happens every week night, just before you go to bed. It brings you dangerous ideas, fascinating movie news and all that in between copious helpings of shenanigans. We begin tonight with one of three beautiful new images from Pixar’s upcoming film Brave. As with all Pixar projects, Brave looks absolutely gorgeous and in a point of interest to many, stars their first leading lady hero, Merida, voiced by Kelly MacDonald. Personally, I’m looking forward to it. Then again, I’ve been pot committed to Pixar for a while. In a terribly sad bit of news, NBC has pulled Community from its midseason schedule. This doesn’t mean that it’s been cancelled, but it’s definitely not a good thing for Community fans (also known as “anyone has ever watched Community“). We should have known that it was too good to last.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It comes and goes as it pleases, dispensing movie news and interesting links for your reading, viewing and listening pleasure. Be honored that it has chosen you to be in its presence. Word. We begin tonight with a bit of a caption contest — because it’s been a boring end to a boring week and this is my column so I’ll do what I want. The above photo is one of a new batch from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, a behind the scenes pic of Bella (Kristen Stewart, who seems very scantily clad in all photos, if you’re into that sort of thing), Edward (Robert Pattinson, sans sparkle) and director Bill Condon. Dear reader, what do you suppose Mr. Condon is saying to the happy couple?

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news round-up written (at least this evening) by an exhausted, cranky bastard. He is in need of a vacation, which means one of two weeks: he either needs to convince Todd Phillips to let him join The Wolf Pack or he needs to find an appropriately film-themed resort somewhere in the Middle East. As it turns out… The image above image is a concept for a $1 billion dollar Star Trek resort in Jordan to be fashioned by Rubicon Group Holding and themed with the stylings of Gene Roddenberry’s 23rd century, as seen through the lens of J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek. I mention Abrams because the original story references it. It almost feels like developers are ignoring a few years of Star Trek lore there… Alas, it will be extravagant and if it’s got a Captain’s Chair in my suite, I’ll go there. When I can afford to travel to Jordan. I’ve got until 2014 to make it happen.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s the hero you need right now; a way to get all the most interesting movie news without having to read through a bunch of padded articles. It’s quick, to the point and personable. An efficient killer of your will to waste time reading a thousand movie blogs before you go to bed. It’s also way into girl power, whatever that means. Hanna director Joe Wright, whose latest film is filled with the legitimate girl-power of a teen assassin played by Saoirse Ronan, has called out director Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch, saying that the girl-power angle of the film was all “marketing bullshit.”

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What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this stuff late at night, what do you expect?

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What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this shit late at night, what do you expect?

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Breaking Dawn and the rest of its Twilight counterparts are infinitely fascinating because they stand as artistic entries dealing with gruesome subject matter (the love included) that’s aimed squarely at a young teen audience. So far, there’s been a profound emptiness in the movies, but since each installment has been inevitable, there’s been a flicker of a glimmer of a spark of some hope that it would be better than its predecessors. That hope still exists for the two part final entry, but USA Today is reporting that the film will be walking the fine line of shooting for a PG-13 sex scene and birthing scene. The question of how they’ll pull that off will make a major impact on the quality of the movie. Assuming the other parts of the movie are also quality. The point is that it could be the nail in the coffin or the scene that brings everything together. This glosses over a very obvious fact, though. They are shooting a sex scene for 12 year olds to watch. That’s a tough and creepy prospect that usually involves renting a panel van, but the key according to producer Wyck Godfrey is the perspective of the shots. Apparently it won’t be “soft core porn,” but a sex scene without sex usually turns out that way. There’s a challenge there. The production needs to fulfill a long-promised culmination of a relationship while also delivering it in a responsible way to young teenagers. Expect a lot of glowering.

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From her stint on Lost to being sold off for sex in Taken, Maggie Grace has proven herself to be nothing more than an actress with blond hair. But now, based on this new bit of casting news, she will be an actress with blond hair who is also in a Twilight movie. She will star alongside Edward, Jacob and Bella in the Bill Condon directed Twilight: Breaking Dawn, a flick that begins shooting this fall. According to Deadline Forks, she will play a character named Irina, who is (according to the Twilight Saga wiki) one of the vegetarian vampires who is not a big fan of Edward’s warm-blooded girlfriend. I guess she was in love with Laurent (the deadlocked vamp who met his gnarly death in the last movie).  Do I have that right, Twilight fans?

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