G.I. Joe 2

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Oh. Oh, that’s not very nice. Paramount has just released a new poster for its pushed-back-to-get-all-pumped-up G.I. Joe: Retaliation, and it looks like the one thing that we definitely don’t want a film that’s been delayed for months in order to get a 3D post-conversion to look like: cheap. Perhaps this just means that the final product has sucked up every last free dollar to make it look as awesome as possible. Perhaps. Let’s hope. The film stars airbrushed Bruce Willis, shiny Dwayne Johnson, overly-lit Channing Tatum, D.J. Cotrona, Byung-hun Lee, Ray Park, Adrianne Palicki, Jonathan Pryce, RZA, and Ray Stevenson. G.I. Joe: Retaliation opens on March 28, 2013. [Paramount]

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Dwayne Johnson found out about Osama Bin Laden’s death before everyone else, and in this picture he posted on his twitter feed from G.I. Joe 2 makes it look like he was one of the ones hunting him. For the first day of shooting, Johnson finds himself heavily costumed and strapped down with weapons, standing in a desert that’s either in some exotic location or somewhere near Chatsworth. I’m not the foremost expert on the original characters, and I didn’t care that much about the costuming from the first film. So, fans, is this what Road Block should look like?

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According to The Hollywood Reporter, Zombieland screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick are set to make their feature directorial debut with Doc And Howie: a buddy comedy about two goofballs (presumably named Doc and Howie) who inadvertently kill a grandmother in a failed attempt to aide her in carrying groceries up a flight of stairs.

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If, by reading the headline, you were hoping that the incomparable Don Jurwich – who directed the 1987 animated G.I. Joe film – had signed on to take on the sequel to G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, your hopes are about to be dashed. Stephen Sommers will return to the director’s seat for G.I. Joe 2: The Search for More Money. If the track record is any indication, Sommers will tackle this one, and seven years from now, Rob Cohen will take over to direct the long-gestating threequel G.I. Joe: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. That’s how it’s done these days. [The Wrap]

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GIJoe2Hawk

In today’s entry of Obvious News, Dennis Quaid is still totally down to play Hawk and commence with the Fall of Cobra.

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