The Zookeeper

The fireworks continued a week after the 4th of July, and Chicago was once again decimated in thousands of screens across America. Poor Chicago. I hope the IMAX screen on Navy Pier stayed intact. Oh, lord. And Giordano’s Pizza, too? I’m suddenly beginning to understand all the hatred towards the Decepticons. But moving past that Windy City digression, Transformers: Dark of the Moon came out in the top slot for the second weekend, not a surprise considering the next big blockbuster of Summer 2011 doesn’t hit until next weekend. The bosses that are horrible and the keeper of the zoo were no match for the second wave of battling robots, massive Michael Bay explosions, and Ken Jeong. That’s right, we’re still counting him as a factor in all this. Dark of the Moon still sits at the bottom of the Transformers franchise totem pole. It has to best $319.2m in order to overtake 2007’s Transformers, $402.1m to beat out Revenge of the Fallen. The first of these seems likely. The second, not so much.


The Reject Report

The Reportkeeper. It’s kind of like a Trapper Keeper 2.0. There’s an image of a ninja lion flying an F-15 jet fighter over an ocean of robot scorpions on the front of every one. That’s what makes it horrible. Plus the fact that it doesn’t hold papers or pens worth a damn. Also the Velcro to keep it closed is loops on both sides, so that doesn’t work. Basically this thing is a POS. I’m telling you NOT to buy the Reportkeeper when they go on sale over in the FSR store* later next month. Also, this is my way of telling you the new movies this weekend aren’t all that interesting as far as box office goes. It’s going to be Transformers: Dark of the Moon for the second weekend in a row. Press play on your Pink Floyd album of choice right…now. *Note: There is no FSR store. You can stop looking now.


Every week, Landon Palmer and Cole Abaius log on to their favorite chat client of 1996 as holeinmyshower and RepWeiner08 in order to discuss some topical topic of interest. This week, the two wonder whether fans should educate themselves before hopping into a movie. Can the movie-going experience be made better by a little research before getting our ticket ripped or should we be able to go blindly into the darkness and expect great entertainment?


The internet may collapse under the sheer weight of my rage, thanks to the major internet provider who continues to give me crap service and charge me handsomely for it each and every month, but that won’t stop us from doing the news this evening. Not when Stephen Sommers, Johnny Knoxville, Edgar Wright and Chinese Bigfoot are all making headlines on the same day! Lets get right to it, dear readers. You know you want to…


Join us each week as Rob Hunter takes a look at new DVD releases and gives his highly unqualified opinion as to which titles are worth BUYing, which are better off as RENTals, and which should be AVOIDed at all costs. And remember, these listings and category placements are meant as informational conversation starters only. But you can still tell Hunter how wrong he is in the comment section below. This week sees the arrival of a damn entertaining British series called Luther and the long-awaited DVD debut of The Six Million Dollar Man as well as The Expendables, Eat Pray Love, I’m Still Here, and more.



Kevin James turns to captive animals for relationship advice. Expect dates filled with poo flinging, leg humping, and awkward sex. (Robert Fure will most likely identify.)



We make it sound like it could be some kind of twisted, psycho-sexual, torture porn thriller don’t we? But no. It’s a romantic comedy.

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published: 12.23.2014
published: 12.22.2014
published: 12.19.2014

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