Sharknado

Sharknado 2

We’re all refreshing Sharknado‘s Twitter on an hourly basis, right? I’m going to assume that, yes, most of society is, so you probably already heard the news this morning that Sharknado 3 is real, and it already has a below-average shark pun tethered to its name: Feast Coast — okay, technically the word “feast” isn’t specifically a sharkological term, but put it in close enough proximity to the word “Sharknado” and it fits just fine. The details come from an Orlando-based Sharknado press tour, alongside the fateful Twitter reveal explaining just what a “Feast Coast” is. Apparently, it’s a stretch of coastal America from Washington, DC, to Florida marauded by airborne sharks. Then comes IGN with a scant few details more. The film will begin by hurling sharks at our nation’s capital (this is apparently “what [Washington, DC] deserves,” according to Syfy and Chiller President Dave Howe, who seems to hold a shark-based grudge against big government), then travel southward until it ends in Orlando. No cast has been announced yet, but it’s a safe bet that Tara Reid and Ian Ziering will return. Also, it’s probably best to assume that “Feast Coast” isn’t actually the subtitle for Sharknado 3, as Syfy is likely to hold another contest on social media to come up with the name, like they did for Sharknado 2: The Second One.

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Sharknado

I wonder what kind of movie will have to show up on a crowdfunding site for the whole world to just give up. Not just give up on the crowdfunding concept, but give up on life, on everything. We got over the Veronica Mars and the Zach Braff and the Spike Lee, but how about this now: Sharknado 2: The Second One is raising money from its poor fans. Don’t worry if you’re one of them; the NYC-set movie is still set to debut on SyFy on July 30th for your snark-Tweeting amusement. It’s not looking to build its budget or anything. It just needs an extra $50K for a single extra secret scene, one we’re only told involves chainsaws. Let me guess: they want to top the first movie’s chainsaw scene. This time will both Ian Ziering and Tara Reid be engulfed and then buzz their way out? The only thing that might really be better is if this time the shark is wielding the chainsaw and he enters and then cuts open a human. A really fat human, I suppose. That’s the best they could do to make me watch, the one scene anyway, but I wouldn’t pay a cent in order to see that. I mean, other than sit through the commercials that are there to pay for SyFy’s programming, which I pay for in the form of my suffering.

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The Asylum and killer sharks are like peanut butter and jelly- an American classic. And that delicious pairing continues with Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark, the latest output from the studio that never quite understood the concept of “shame.” Once more, enlarged marine life emerges from the seas to threaten all mankind. Once more, common sense is thrown out the window, as the military decides the best course of action is to fight stupid with stupid and build an equally gigantic robot shark. Once more, the cast is dotted with minor celebrities trying to keep their careers afloat- this time, it’s singer Debbie Gibson and actor Christopher Judge (better known as “that dude with the thing on his head from Stargate SG-1).

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We may be witnessing the birth of a new film genre- the “natural disaster combines with something not normally associated with natural disaster” movie. Sharknado took the world by storm (a storm that, not surprisingly, is full of sharks), but the seminal sea-life-flung-through-the-air-at-100mph film has opened the floodgates for similar schlock. First came Avalanche Sharks, and now Syfy adds another name to the list- Stonados.

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Sharknado

Last week, my partner hosted a screening of Miami Connection, Drafthouse Films’ release of the heretofore largely unseen low-budget Tae Kwon Do musical from 1987, for a small group of friends. Ever the meticulous party-planner, she made the viewing interactive by constructing, amongst a litany of other viewing activities, a series of Bingo cards that our friends could play while watching the film. At first, I was a bit worried that this might make the viewing of a ridiculous ‘80s cult film all too predetermined, forcing our friends to anticipate amazing lines like “I thought we are all orphans” or the transcendent pro-friendship tunes of Dragon Sound ahead of time rather than experiencing these moments organically, as she and I did the first time we saw Miami Connection. Thankfully, I was proven wrong. The interactive viewing was a great success for our dear Miami Connection virgins, and everyone went home whistling “Against the Ninja” whether they wanted to or not. But I’m not interested in talking about a party that went well (okay, maybe a little bit). I’m interested in what something like Miami Connection Bingo cards represent for people seeing the film for the first time: the simultaneous, seemingly paradoxical engagement with cult film initiation and cult film participation.

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sharknadotruth-2

Sharknado has been taking the world by storm (well, less of a storm and more of a tornado full of hungry sea life), and the surprise cult hit is showing no signs of stopping. Those who feel that the small screen can’t truly capture the majesty that is Sharknado have had their prayers answered: for one night only (that night being August 2), the film will play midnight shows at approximately 200 Regal Cinemas across the United States. As goofy as it sounds, Sharknado does seem like the right film to see on a late night in a crowded theater, and its one-night-only status all but ensures that those theaters will be plenty crowded. Chris Sylvia, director of digital marketing for Regal Entertainment Group, had this to say: “You know how audiences have had fun with Rocky Horror Picture Show over the years. If the internet reactions to this film are any indication, then our moviegoers are primed and ready to enjoy Sharknado larger than life in cinemas. Regal is proud to be giving our guests this chance to fuel the social media whirlwind by inviting friends to come to the show and tweeting reactions.”

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sharknadotruth-2

Last week, the world reeled at the thought of a powerful hurricane creating freak tornadoes that would scoop up dozens of man-eating sharks and deposit them onto dry land. The idea of a sharknado probably never occurred to anyone outside of the production offices of The Asylum, until the Syfy Original Movie Sharknado hit the air on July 11th. The movie tells the (possibly) unlikely story of a global-warming-fueled hurricane that strikes the coast of Southern California. This unprecedented hurricane spawns a line of tornadoes that fling sharks across Los Angeles, and the only people who can stop them are Ian Ziering and Tara Reid. Were this real life, we’d be screwed. (Pinning humanity’s hope on drop outs from Beverly Hills 90210 and the American Pie franchise has almost never worked out.) However, that got us thinking: should we be worried about a Sharknado really happening? Shouldn’t we be planning for its imminent arrival?

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reject recap 071313

This week I could have upped the number of stories to 20. It’s been that full of big news and hot trending topics and great original content. It helped that this week FSR brought two excellent new newswriters into the fold, Samantha Wilson and Adam Bellotto (who isn’t quoted this week but surely will be found on the Recap soon enough). It also helped that we’re a week away from Comic-Con and relevant teases and revelations are already trickling out. Plus we were excited about finally seeing Pacific Rim, suddenly excited about the idea of Sharknado and feeling good about movies again with the first looks at the Oldboy remake, the latest (scary again) sequel to Child’s Play and the Tom Hanks as Walt Disney portrayal of Saving Mr. Banks. Oh and the whole Grown Ups 2 not being too terrible thing. Wait, no, nobody feels good about (or believes) that. We’ve also gotten some great coverage of the 2013 New York Asian Film Festival from Rob. And not to ignore television ever, we posted on Bar Rescue, joke-machine sitcoms and a newbie’s viewing of The Sopranos. With all this stuff packing the pages of FSR the past seven days, you likely missed one or two posts and are in need of catching up with the following week in review. Start your weekend right after the jump.

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sharknado

Sometimes you never knew you needed something until it comes along, and once you finally get it, you’re not sure how you’ll be able to live without it ever again. The concept of a “sharknado” is exactly this sort of thing. Sure, we’ve been watching movies that didn’t feature tornadoes full of sharks for over a century now, and for most of that time they’ve felt fairly satisfying, but now that the SyFy channel is bringing us their Ian Ziering and Tara Reid-starring original, Sharknado, it’s hard to imagine how we’ll ever be able to sit through a movie that doesn’t feature a tornado full of sharks ever again. Click through to watch the new “almost red band” trailer for the film, which features more low rent CGI, washed up actors (and John Heard, poor John Heard), and shark deaths than you can shake a stick at, and which SyFy seems to think might just be “too violent for TV.”

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Sharknadoposterpart

With The Lone Ranger confirmed as one of the biggest bombs in an altogether underwhelming summer at the movies, it’s the perfect time for Sharknado to rear its ridiculous head and draw in millions. It won’t be in theaters, though, only on the SyFy Channel (and soon enough home video). Directed by Antonio C. Ferrante (SyFy’s recent version of Hansel & Gretel), Sharknado is one of those uber-high-concept SyFy originals that’s easily understood by its title alone (“enough said!” is its tagline, after all). But what is a sharknado? Well, it’s a massive “super tornado” that has sucked up tons of sharks from the ocean and is “hurling” them at Los Angeles. Humans played by Tara Reid, John Heard and Ian Ziering (playing a guy named “Fin,” no kidding) do something on the ground in order to add some sort of plot to the carnage. There’s no way Sharknado is going to be a quality movie, but that’s not it’s aim, and that’s part of what shall make it a refreshing alternative to this year’s blockbusters, many of which seem intended to be taken seriously in spite of how dumb they are (“legitimate” sci-fi flicks Star Trek Into Darkness, Oblivion and After Earth included). Viewers and critics, meanwhile, have been overthinking other tentpoles that shouldn’t be taken too seriously, like top grosses Man of Steel and Iron Man 3. Still, there is a weight given to these movies due to their caliber of production brands and price tags. Sharknado is […]

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published: 12.19.2014
A-
published: 12.18.2014
C-
published: 12.17.2014
B+


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