Lady Gaga

Danny Trejo Sherrybaby

Our official review of Machete Kills is pretty negative. Rightfully so, it’s a major disappointment following the purposefully cheesy yet still politically relevant first film. This time it’s all just silly, kind of like an Austin Powers movie for the Latino audience instead of 13-year-old boys — though the 13-year-old boys may still be the best audience for this. I want to recommend it solely for Demian Bichir, though, because he is a pleasure to watch every second he’s on screen. Maybe it’s just how great he is relative to the rest of the cast and movie, but I’d give him another Oscar nomination for this. If you think that’s ridiculous, you haven’t seen the movie (because that is ridiculous). If you don’t see Machete Kills, no big deal, even if you won’t know what’s going on when Machete Kills Again… In Space arrives. This week’s gateway recommendations have nothing related to any spoilers in the movie. Most are just better films starring parts of the sequel’s ensemble. I also almost thought about including Star Wars, not because I think any of you haven’t seen it but because I think you’d want to clean yourself in the form of a re-watch after seeing all the bad references here. Seriously, even if we’d never had 35 years of parodies, copycats, fan films and other works derived from and informed by Star Wars, the allusions here would still feel stale. The following ten selections are worth checking out whether you bother with Machete […]


machete iphone

No, Machete doesn’t have time to run a twitter account – he has orders from the President (played by some guy named Carlos Estevez) to head down to Mexico and stop a missile from hitting the White House. Good thing his iPhone is equipped with a smaller machete instead of a useless twitter app. Danny Trejo is back in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills, and oh does he ever live up to that title. Now contracted by the government TO KILL, Machete has to stop south of the border villain Mel Gibson — who frankly looks like he’s having the time of his life — from succeeding in his dastardly ways. Though Machete’s got help from a lot of badass babes on his side, Gibson has a “super soldier” army to fight. Sofia Vergara is a standout as some kind of militant fembot, as well as Lady Gaga, who appears in part of the film disguised as Cuba Gooding Jr. Sidenote: How great would it be if we found out the real Cuba Gooding Jr. was just Lady Gaga in disguise this whole time? She would be the greatest actress of our lifetime.


The Great Gatsby

Well, have you seen Moulin Rouge? In some of the least surprising news of possibly the entire decade, The Playlist has dug up news that Baz Luhrmann‘s plagued The Great Gatsby won’t just come with the added gimmick of 3D, but possibly with a Prince and Lady Gaga-heavy soundtrack. You know what, Baz? That’s fine. It’s really fine. It’s certainly better than using 3D to tell the classic F. Scott Fitzgerald story. It’s at least much more predictable. The outlet sat down with Adelaide Clemens (who co-stars in Luhrmann’s film), and she revealed the news, saying that “they have some new music that’s going to be added to the film…Some pretty huge artists have approached Baz and are writing songs for the film, and I don’t think Warner Bros. are going to turn down Prince and Lady Gaga knocking down your door.” Somewhat charmingly, The Playlist pressed her for more confirmation on said artists, and “she confirmed she was referring to the Prince and the Lady Gaga, demurring, ‘I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that.’” Thank goodness Prince has returned to his classic stage name, just imagine how confusing this would be if poor Clemens was trying to convey that (insert symbol here) might be doing some work on the soundtrack.


Machete Kills

At least the wolf didn’t have to live through a surely insane photo shoot? In perhaps today’s weirdest and most completely unexpected announcement, Lady Gaga has apparently joined the cast of Robert Rodriquez‘s upcoming Machete Kills. The director announced both Gaga’s casting and her completion of work via a tweet this morning that read, “I just finished working with @LadyGaga on @MacheteKills, she kicked SO MUCH ASS! Holy Smokes. Blown away!” I, too, am totally blown away. Perhaps because no one would believe even Rodriguez himself when it comes to such totally bizarre news, he also included a character poster for Gaga in her role as “La Chameleon,” which you can check out after the break. Chameleon or not, this looks like a pretty standard look for a woman who once showed up to an awards show in a giant egg.



What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news round-up article that would like you to know that it’s glad you weren’t Raptured. It loves having you around so that it can share links with you, bring you the latest news and provide you with a few laughs along the way. It didn’t want to see you vanish into thin air and leave the rest of us to fend off apocalyptic chaos. It’s also confused, as all the toilet paper in the Reject HQ bathrooms seems to have disappeared. How does toilet paper get Raptured? I’m always skeptical when small groups of journalists get a very early look at a major studio picture and come out of it with mostly positive things to say. I don’t question their enjoyment of what they saw, but it’s clear that someone is massaging the timing of the message. So when we see reviews starting to pop up for X-Men: First Class, I can’t help but look at them through cynical eyes. That said, I respect the hell out of Drew McWeeney at HitFix and his piece on Matthew Vaughn’s latest calls it ambitious, claiming that the story is tight and focused. That’s worth some consideration. Also, the above art depicts Muppets as X-Men. Brilliant, found via Geekologie.


James Franco Preps for the Oscars

Dear Mr. Franco, Before I say anything else, I just want to say, at the risk of sounding like a brown-nosing blogger writing a hypothetical letter to a movie star who most definitely will not read it, that I actually do appreciate what you’re trying to do. Many people would start a post like this heavy on the snark and in total dismissal of a star’s decision to construct their career as performance art. But I don’t. I think it’s kind of interesting. Kind of. We know you’re talented. And we know you like to explore a variety of avenues of expression. It’s not just that you’re actor, but an actor who can play Aron Ralston and Alan Ginsberg, convincingly, in the same year. It’s not just that you’re a filmmaker, but the filmmaker that made Saturday Night, which is more enjoyable than anything SNL has produced in years. It’s not just that you’re pursuing a PhD, but…well, I’m actually not familiar with your scholarship, but I’m sure you’ll publish something someday. Anyway, this is to say I’m writing from the perspective of a reluctant fan. But after Sunday night, you and everybody that respects you deserves a damn break.



There are more than a few very iconic things about the movies of the James Bond franchise. One is the men who have played the role of the British superspy. Another is the women who are usually part of his temporary undoing. And finally, there are the theme songs.

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published: 01.27.2015
published: 01.27.2015
published: 01.27.2015
published: 01.27.2015

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