A Thousand Words

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

While many would like to think that snark was something born of the Internet age, the fact that the Razzie Awards for Worst Achievements in Film are now in their thirty-third year pretty demonstrably proves that to be untrue.  There’s an uncomfortable truth at the center of all this, which is, to snark, to pass judgment, to make fun of things that fail publicly and spectacularly—it’s all kind of fun, at least in a sick way. If it wasn’t, something like The Razzies wouldn’t be able to stick around this long. In recent years, however, the film industry’s laser focus on building franchises and sticking to the same formulas has taken a little bit of the fun out of seeing who gets picked on for being the worst of the year. A crop of usual suspects has developed, making the announcement that the latest Twilight movie and the latest Adam Sandler comedy have earned the lion’s share of the nominations something of a tedious formality. So, here we are, having yet again sat through another Twilight movie and another Adam Sandler comedy, and, sure enough, it seems that they’ve once again gotten the bulk of the nominations. If there’s any new narrative going on, it’s that Madea’s Witness Protection seems to have annoyed the people who vote for the Golden Raspberries more than usual. Perhaps that’s due to Jack & Jill making men in drag a more contemptible offense after last year, or perhaps it’s because they’re trying to set […]


This Week in DVD

Welcome back to This Week In DVD! Lots of fantastic (and not so fantastic) titles hitting shelves today including one of the year’s best comedies, an Academy Award winner for Best Film, a near-hilariously bad Korean monster movie, Drafthouse Films’ newest release and more. As always, if you see something you like, click on the image to buy it. Sound of Noise Amadeus Warnebring is a detective with a not-so-secret disdain for music thanks to a family that displayed immense and near constant talent for the art, but when a group of musical terrorists begin threatening the city with impromptu performances he’s tasked with overcoming his issues to catch the culprits and prevent the musical apocalypse. You really shouldn’t need more than that synopsis to encourage you to seek this movie out, but I’ll add that this Swedish film is a rare original and filled with laughs and honestly enjoyable music. Check out my full review.


The Reject Report - Large

A lone film hits on a multitude of screens this weekend. The playing field is all for its amusement, and this one film appears to be holding every card in the deck. It’s not a matter of if The Hungers Games will be a success. The real question is how many records will it be breaking this weekend. The incredibly popular book series finally makes its cinematic debut, and, like the Twilight series before it, The Hunger Games is sure to take its core audience by storm. It’ll be sure to bring in audiences who aren’t familiar with the book series, as well, ensuring its place in box office history, or, at the very least, offer a strong enough debut to warrant the inevitable sequel. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? The franchise. Let’s take a look at how this lone wolf stacks up against all these familiar cubs.


Kevin Carr

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr heads to the desert to hide in a cave, hoping against hope that some mystical bald alien will beam him to Mars so he can make a pass at the ridiculously gorgeous Lynn Collins in a brass bikini. Unfortunately, no one came to his rescue, so he snuck into an abandoned house in upstate New York to terrorize some people. Again, no one came. That left Kevin to skip his movies this week so he could go to the library and find a book that would allow him to curse Eddie Murphy into not speaking. He hasn’t been heard from since.


What an epically bad week for Eddie Murphy – Tower Heist didn’t do so hot at the box office, then Brett Ratner had to go and run his filthy and idiotic mouth all around town, and almost immediately both Ratner and Murphy were out as Oscars producer and host, respectively. But no matter how bad Murphy’s week is, it’s absolutely no excuse for this latest Murphy monstrosity, a trailer for the heinous A Thousand Words, conveniently appearing on the Internet just as Murph-buzz reaches its fever pitch. The plot of A Thousand Words is essentially that of Liar Liar with a slight (very, very slight) twist. Eddie Murphy plays an asshole who finds out he can only utter a thousand more words before he dies. That’s it. Hilarious, right? If you haven’t had enough Murphy-based shenanigans in your week so far, check out the trailer after the break. I warned you.

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published: 12.18.2014
published: 12.17.2014
published: 12.15.2014
published: 12.12.2014

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