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Let’s Jump Into A ‘Hot Tub Time Machine’


Apparently the punch line to this joke is a feature-length script about men, sexual tension, and a magic hot tub.

Zack Snyder Wants To ‘Sucker Punch’ A Mormon


Which we suppose is better than wanting to donkey punch a Scientologist.

Schwarzenegger And Trejo Join Stallone’s ‘Expendables’


Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Trejo have both been announced as joining Sylvester Stallone’s The Expendables. To that I can only say… sweet. And to that I can only add… it’s not too late Jean Claude! Apologize for your egotistical idiocy and get your ass to South America! Anyway…

John Malkovich Saddles Up For ‘Jonah Hex’


Malkovich has signed on to the upcoming Jonah Hex. Josh Brolin stars as Hex, and Malkovich will play a wealthy Southern plantation owner named Turnbull who blames Hex for his son’s death at the hands of Union soldiers.

Jason Bateman Batter Blasts Jennifer Aniston In ‘The Baster’


Have you ever tried Batter Blaster? Pancake/waffle batter in a pressurized can like whip cream? And it’s organic? Good stuff.

The Return Of ‘Hawk The Slayer’


Do any of you remember the epic action/fantasy film from 1980 called Hawk the Slayer? No? Starred Jack Palance as Voltan, a scenery-chewing, evil-doing ham and John Terry as Hawk, his heroic brother? We do!

John Carpenter Is Crazy For Amber Heard In ‘The Ward’


Sure it’s been twenty-three years since John Carpenter made a great movie (Big Trouble In Little China), and since then he’s made three good films and five shitty ones, but I still hold out hope.

Hilary Duff To Reimagine ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ For Big Screen


Remember all of those times you get pissed about casting in a semi-remake? Now is another one of those times.

Penelope Cruz or Rihanna Wanted for Third ‘Charlie’s Angels’


If a third Charlie’s Angels absolutely has to happen, do you care who plays the fourth angel?