The Rock Has No Tolerance for Candy Asses

By  · Published on August 9th, 2016

But who among Fast & Furious 8’s male co-stars is he talking about?

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a big, tough guy, but he’s always presented himself as a professional softee at heart with kind words and compliments for everyone around him. He’s currently in the homestretch of filming on F. Gary Gray’s Fast 8, as sure a guaranteed blockbuster as you can get, and it seems his nice guy persona may have finally reached a breaking point. Here’s what he posted on his Facebook account earlier today:

“This is my final week of shooting Fast & Furious 8. There’s no other franchise that gets my blood boiling more than this one. An incredible hard working crew. Universal Studios Entertainment has been great partners as well. My female co-stars are always amazing and I love ’em. My male co-stars however are a different story. Some conduct themselves as stand up men and true professionals, while others don’t. The ones that don’t are too chicken shit to do anything about it anyway. Candy asses. When you watch this movie next April and it seems like I’m not acting in some of these scenes and my blood is legit boiling – you’re right.

Bottom line is it’ll play great for the movie and fits this Hobbs character that’s embedded in my DNA extremely well. The producer in me is happy about this part. Final week on FAST 8 and I will finish strong.
‪#‎IcemanCometh‬ ‪#‎F8‬ ‪#‎ZeroToleranceForCandyAsses‬”

It’s no surprise that he speaks highly of his female co-stars as they’re a who’s who of immensely talented women including Helen Mirren, Charlize Theron, Eva Mendes, Michelle Rodriguez, and Elsa Pataky. But the question remains… who among his male co-stars are the candy asses he’s calling out here? Odds are it’s not a no-name actor, so let’s take a look at the eight real possibilities in increasing order of likelihood.

We’re going to eliminate Kurt Russell from candy ass contention right off as that title hasn’t fit him since The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes. He’s sixty five years old, an old school conservative, and just made two hardcore westerns last year, so I doubt he’s the one rubbing Johnson the wrong way. And yes, there is a wrong way to rub a johnson.

Could it be Kristofer Hivju? His ginger hair suggests an untrustworthy nature, but Neil Miller would probably fire me if I suggested it, so no, it clearly cannot be Hivju.

Ludacris narrated Jim Henson’s Turkey Hollow last year, so it’s a little tempting to suggest he could be a candy ass. The counterpoint though is that his Fast & Furious character has never been one you’d expect physicality from so it’d be odd for Johnson to expect as much now. Tej is the slick, smart guy who rarely breaks a sweat.

How about Jason Statham? His movie credits say no as he’s traditionally an action star more dependent on his fighting and athletic ability than Hollywood fakery, but have you seen that trailer for his upcoming Mechanic: Resurrection? There’s so much CG it almost counts as an animated film. Combine that with his awareness that he got the best notices of his career in the comedy Spy, and maybe he’s decided to start taking it easy these days.

It could be Lucas Black because who’s really expecting anything from him, but I’d wager Johnson doesn’t even know who that is, let alone that he’s an actor in the same movie.

In the hours since Johnson posted his rant the internet has seemed to collectively agree that the most likely culprit is Scott Eastwood. I’m not sure how much of that is based on his dad’s pro-racism, “Get off my lawn” ramblings as opposed to Eastwood Jr.’s own pretty-boy appearance, but the young actor’s been trying to make his mark in pseudo-action movies so it’d be unwise of him to slack off on such a big stage.

Tyrese Gibson is a far likelier suspect, and no, it’s not just because he’s a male model. He’s not much of an actor, he’s never shown much interest in displaying action-oriented chops, and he (or at least his character here) thinks he’s far funnier than he actually is, so I can see him retreating to the comfort of his trailer after every take.

My money’s on Vin Diesel though. Sure he makes a habit of starring in action films, but they’ve required very little effort on his part and have instead relied on stunts, CG, and editing to make him look capably athletic. I’m not buying it.

And I don’t think The Rock is anymore either.

Rob Hunter has been writing for Film School Rejects since before you were born, which is weird seeing as he's so damn young. He's our Chief Film Critic and Associate Editor and lists 'Broadcast News' as his favorite film of all time. Feel free to say hi if you see him on Twitter @FakeRobHunter.