Taylor Lautner and Stretch Armstrong: A Match Made in the Accounting Department

Twilight star and all-around piece of meat Taylor Lautner has signed on to star in Universal’s upcoming toy-based film Stretch Armstrong, says Heat Vision. This 3D film will be made based on the line of Hasbro toys, and will likely make good money. Why? Because unlike his Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson, Lautner is seen as a bankable star.

Armstrong will follow “an uptight spy who stumbles across a stretching formula, which he takes and must now adjust to in everyday life and when fighting crime.” The movie is due out some time in 2012, according to reports.

More important than what this movie is about is the fact that Universal co-chairman Donna Langley has revealed the real reason why Lautner has been thrust into the stretchy role: “In the past two years, Taylor has emerged as a real star at the global box office. He brings the perfect balance of energy and athleticism to the role of an unlikely super hero with a fantastic super power.”

Translation: He will put teenage girls’ asses in the seats. And that means franchise. Also, Lautner seems content to be a mainstream star. Unlike Pattinson, who seems to be burying himself in aggressively bad indie projects. Taylor on the other hand, has appeared on Saturday Night Live and signed on to projects such as Max Steel and Cancun, two action tentpoles. He seems primed to make a lot of money and, pending a test of talent, move himself into the realm of mainstream movie star. He seems fit for action films, based on his only subtle brooding in Twilight. In fact, I’ve long contended that he’s the best young actor working in that series of films. Pattinson is hollow and co-star Kristen Stewart didn’t show us anything until her recent work in Welcome to the Rileys and The Runaways. Lautner has been the clear standout in a franchise that isn’t exactly about quality storytelling.

However, it is about making money. And to see Lautner being put in a position to make a lot of money for a major studio isn’t exactly a stretch.