Fact: If you put a Stretch Armstrong in the microwave, it will blow up. And mess up your microwave.
This fact is once again relevant thanks to Steve Oedekerk (Kung Pow). Variety reports that Oedekerk is writing the adaptation of Stretch Armstrong for the big screen. You may know Oedekerk as the writer of such films as Bruce and Evan Almighty and Patch Adams. If you’re special, you may even be familiar with his “Thumb” series, notably Bat Thumb, The Godthumb, Frankenthumb, Thumbtanic, and Thumb Wars: The Phantom Cuticle in which all the characters are talking thumbs. Thumb, thumb, thumb.
The Stretch Armstrong movie is being distributed by Universal, which has a deal to bring Hasbro properties to the theaters. Transformers and G.I. Joe have already been done, while Candyland, Ridley Scott’s Monopoly, and Michael Bay’s Ouija are soon to be filmed. Hasbro also owns Nerf, so mark me down as a dude who’s surprised we haven’t seen a Vortex football movie set in the future where quarterbacks throw the ball 75 yards–just like Peyton did!
Other Hasbro properties that should be movies:
- Trivial Pursuit
- Lite Brite
- Rubik’s Cube, the Trilogy
- Tonka Trucks
- and YAHTZEE!
Expect to see Jim Carrey rumored for the part of Stretch, since he and Oedekerk have worked together several times dating back to his “In Living Color” days. In the meantime, you can still catch Stretch Armstrong in all his glory by going over to e-Bay. That’s right, folks…$1,500.
What do you think of a Stretch Armstrong movie?