"At least this time I didn't have to have everyone die with a pesky urban legend, I could just lay waste to them."
Heads up haters -- they don't even mention the American flag once.
"The only thing Jake is afraid of is mediocrity."
"Tom Cruise University. Excellent film school by the way."
"There's so many fake-outs in this movie."
"I have nothing against Ikea."
"It is a cruel world, and one that human behavior helps to make even crueler."
"There's a lot of dead kids in this movie."
"It's 80 minutes of pure fun."
"I have here the screenplay for Avengers 4, which I am going to read to you right now."