Remake Watch: You Gotta Like a ‘Commando’ Remake, Right?

By  · Published on April 29th, 2010

Wrong.

We don’t gotta like a Commando remake, but it looks like we might have to endure it. Normally I’m pretty apathetic about remakes, as you may know from reading my wildly popular Xanga, but this one just rubs me the wrong way. What doesn’t rub me the wrong way is sprinkling in Arnie quotes throughout this article.

I used to watch this flick back in college with my roommate, and we’d go line for line on the dialog – as cheesy and campy as it gets. Despite the absurdity of the lines, Arnold had the only delivery on the planet that made them work.

According to Deadline, we can expect a Foxed version of the film soon enough that will be, as all remakes are contractually obligated to be, grittier. David Ayer (Harsh Times and Street Kings) will write and direct.

I’m pretty sure everyone is asking the same question – some version of whether or not the movie will be good without Arnold. The answer is that it’ll be different. That’s all we can really say for sure. With the success of a film like Taken, where a man’s daughter is kidnapped and he uses special skills to get her back (the exact plot to Commando minus the personal revenge angle), it seems like the world quite possibly do well to have another Man on a Mission story along those lines.

Sadly, they could do that without evoking the name “John Matrix.” It’s laughable, and if Matrix were here, he’d laugh to.

I have to admit that this falls under that segment of remakes where there is a lot to improve upon, or at least to update, but it also falls into the territory of the beloved, Don’t Ruin This Film world where I have to remind myself that the original will always be there, safe in its VHS case ready to be watched and enjoyed.

Lovers of Commando, feel free to blow off some steam in our comments section.

Related Topics: ,

Movie stuff at VanityFair, Thrillist, IndieWire, Film School Rejects, and The Broken Projector [email protected] | Writing short stories at Adventitious.