Features and Columns · Streaming Guides

Ranking the First 26 Quibis from Worst to Best

Quibi is here, so why not see if any of its offerings are worth your six to ten minutes?
Quibi
By  · Published on April 8th, 2020

20. Gayme Show

Glitter. Rainbows. Grand entrances. Matt Rogers & Dave Mizzoni host as two straight contestants compete in a series of physical, mental, and performance challenges to test their gay knowledge. Who will reign forevermore as “Queen of the Straights”?

Two straight men enter, but only one can leave as “Queen of the Straights, and gay as fuck” as they compete to show how in tune they are with gay culture. The premise here, along with the suggestive spelling, teases something that could easily tilt towards the offensive, but it never even comes close. That’s for the best, obviously, but what’s left is a soft game show with no real rules, some humorous exchanges, and plenty of loud talkers who crave the camera’s attention. The hosts do land some funny lines, though, making for some forgettable entertainment.

19. Chrissy’s Court

Real people. Real cases. And real, legally binding decisions. If you thought Chrissy Teigen couldn’t become an actual courtroom judge, you’ve been overruled.

Imagine Judge Judy but with Chrissy Teigen beneath the robes and you’ll be picturing exactly what this quibi has to offer. She’s silly, sassy, and goofy, and it’s all played for laughs despite being “legally binding” so expect fans to eat it up. There’s really nothing else to see here outside of some harmless fun.

18. Punk’d

Punk’d is back! And no one is safe! The iconic series returns with Chance the Rapper as host — masterminding the biggest pranks behind the scenes. The biggest stars are about to learn what happens if their fates were up to Chance.

Remember Ashton Kutcher’s prank show from MTV and the early 2000s? Well it remembers you and is now back with Chance the Rapper playing host. Each quibi sees another “celeb” pranked, and while it feels every bit like the original the singular difference is that the first three quibis feature Sabrina Carpenter, Liza Koshy, and Meg Thee Stallion — and I don’t know who any of these fucking people are. To be clear, that’s a me problem and not a Punk’d problem, but it also means viewers in a similar boat are left having to enjoy this on the strength of the pranks alone. That said, its singular nature means each prank fits a single quibi well and makes for a complete viewing which is something most of the quibis here can’t claim.

17. Prodigy

Each episode of this docu-series profiles a young athlete projected to be the next big thing in their respective sport, giving an inside look as they train towards their next historic sports moment.

Soccer star Megan Rapinoe introduces each quibi and sets the stage for what amounts to a mini biography with the first three covering a basketball player, a snowboarder, and a boxer. As with many of the “real life” shows here the quibi does little to appeal to viewers beyond the already faithful, but sports fans, particularly those who enjoy seeing the behind the scenes realities for athletes, will enjoy.

16. Fierce Queens

In this nature series, presented and narrated by Reese Witherspoon, we explore the remarkable females of the animal kingdom. From ants to cheetahs, these ladies call the shots in their world and sit at the top of the social hierarchy earning them the title “fierce queens”.

Nature shows have to work hard to not be any good, and thankfully this one works just hard enough to be… okay? Reese Witherspoon hosts and narrates the quibis that focus on female animals from cheetahs to ants. There’s nothing here that seems new necessarily on the information front, but the photography is sharp and detailed, the animal action is both beautiful and vicious, and Witherspoon gets a paycheck so really, aren’t we all winners here?

15. Nightgowns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBT5t5Zd4kg

The stage awaits. Sasha Velour and her cast members are preparing for the biggest drag showcase of their lives. Expect heart, humor, and a hell of a lot of glamour.

Drag Race winner Sasha Velour takes center stage as the co-creator of a drag stage show called Nightgowns featuring different performers and elaborate performances. The quibi features interview segments showing the heart and soul that goes into it all while rehearsals show the the hard work involved, but it’s the performances themselves that really deliver for fans.

14. Memory Hole

Memory Hole

Will Arnett dives into the archives of pop culture revisiting trends, inventions and events that haven’t aged very well. Surprise celebrities crop up in this exploration of Canada’s best and brightest ideas from the recent past.

As far as short, forgettable distractions go, this quibi has an edge in that it’s able to tackle a different topic each time. They’re not all winners, but I can’t shortchange a quibi that has the smarts to devote a few minutes to 1985’s action masterpiece Gymkata. Having Patton Oswalt deliver the pitch seals the deal. That said, the show may be familiar to some as a group called Everything Is Terrible claims it’s ripping off their own 2014 effort.

13. Gone Mental with Lior

Gone Mental

Is it possible to read another person’s thoughts? Mentalist Lior Suchard thinks so. And he’s about to stun celebrities and passersby alike with his mind-reading prowess.

Mentalist Lior Suchard has been amazing audiences, celebrities, and viewers for a few years now, and his particular bag of tricks is on full display here as he influences and tricks people like Ben Stiller and Ludacris with his abilities. His shtick is one half subliminal suggestions via things he casually points out beforehand or simply has in the sight of his guests and one half more technical shenanigans, but it sometimes feels like we’re being conned. Surely he misses the mark sometimes, but that’s never captured on camera? Am I a cynical and suspicious viewer when it comes to this quibi and Lior in particular? I am, but I’m also sometimes impressed with his shenanigans anyway.

12. Murder House Flip

An unconventional home renovation show that takes on the country’s most infamous homes: ones known for the mysterious murders within their walls. Designers Joelle and Mikel remove the stains of the past and make once morbid homes marvelous.

The premise here is exactly what it sounds like — a design team visits houses where vicious murders occurred, identifies areas in need of an upgrade, and then spends a few days turning things around for thankful homeowners. We get some history involving the killings, but the bulk of the quibi is everything you’ve seen in home makeover shows. Fans of that HGTV will enjoy this as it’s more of the same, albeit with a grim undertone, and the results are as expected with happy couples enjoying new living spaces.

11. Survive (Movies in Chapters)

Jane wants to end it all. Then a plane crash almost ends it for her. Now she’s crawling from the wreckage with Paul, the only other survivor, and a new drive to stay alive.

Sophie Turner headlines this quibi about a young woman whose suicidal plans are interrupted when her plane crashes in a snowy and unforgiving wilderness where she struggles to survive the cold, starvation, and yes, wolves. If that sounds like The Grey (2011), well, that’s because it sounds like The Grey. It’s not The Grey, but it is based on a novel that was published in 2012 and is plenty dreary. Turner is good, as his her fellow survivor (Corey Hawkins), but so much time is spent before the crash even occurs — you have to wait until the end of the third quibi! — that it’s a slow, redundant introduction, and Turner’s voice-over doesn’t help. The actual survival aspects that start kicking in forty minutes in promise more thrills, but this tone (voiceover, surreal dreams) feels like something that could very well end with her back on the plane with all of this being in her head as she struggles to survive her planned overdose. And that would be annoying.


Next Page

Pages: 1 2 3

Related Topics:

Rob Hunter has been writing for Film School Rejects since before you were born, which is weird seeing as he's so damn young. He's our Chief Film Critic and Associate Editor and lists 'Broadcast News' as his favorite film of all time. Feel free to say hi if you see him on Twitter @FakeRobHunter.