‘Paddington’ Teaser: Tearing Down Britain’s Infrastructure, One Bear at a Time

By  · Published on March 5th, 2014

“If you see something, say something.” It’s a simple rule. Unattended packages are a matter for the authorities – they could be stuffed full of explosives, chemical weaponry, or even vicious Peruvian wildlife intent on draining Great Britain’s marmalade reserves dry.

Yet the first teaser for Paddington flies in the face of public transportation’s basic safety procedures. There’s London’s Paddington Railway Station, and right smack in the middle of the platform is an unattended package. One large enough to comfortably fit an adorable stuffed bear. Clearly, multiple passersby must have seen something. Yet not a single one said something. Shameful.

Paddington is a cautionary tale of Britain’s undocumented immigrant bears, and the damage they’ve been doing to the nation’s economy. Or, if the film’s synopsis can be believed, it’s the tale of a wayward stuffed bear who’s taken in by a kind family, all while being stalked by an evil taxidermist (Nicole Kidman). Presumably, she’s after the secret of how a stuffed animal can walk and talk and consume so much marmalade without being beset upon by ants.

There’s not much footage to be found in this first Paddington clip (it is a teaser, after all), but those who grew up with Paddington Bear are probably wondering two things: what the movie’s CGI Paddington will look like, and what his Colin Firth-provided voice will sound like. They get the first one, kinda. The trailer ends with a peek at the be-hatted bear, and he’s looking far more like a real bear cub than a stuffed toy. Will Paddington be going some kind of Pinocchio-esque “stuffed bear becomes real bear” route? For the sake of the children (who should probably be exposed to as few realistic bear maulings as possible), I hope not.

Now we just have to wait a little longer to hear what Paddington Firth sounds like. Probably a lot like Colin Firth, if I had to guess. You don’t hire Britain’s #1 non-threatening male actor just to downplay his non-threatening Britishness.

Watch the trailer for Paddington below (thanks to Yahoo! Movies).

Paddington hits theaters on December 12, 2014.