Movies

Lindsay Lohan Joins the Manson Cult

Remember Lindsay Lohan? That lovable scamp that melted our hearts in Disney’s remakes of its own movies, then grew up, flashed her special parts to the public, and made crappy movies between stints in rehab? Whatever happened to her?
By  · Published on March 28th, 2008

Remember Lindsay Lohan? That lovable scamp that melted our hearts in Disney’s remakes of its own movies, then grew up, flashed her special parts to the public, and made crappy movies between stints in rehab? Whatever happened to her?

Well, our BFFs over at ComingSoon.net got word that she’ll once again be melting our hearts as one of Charles Manson’s insane, cult-following harpies in the forthcoming Manson Girls. Sigh.

The movie is too new to conveniently have an IMDB page telling us who else is involved, but the good news is that searching for ‘Manson Girls’ yields a ton of hilarious resulting titles like “Hot Girls for Men Only”, “Nude on the Moon” and “Mondo Topless”. It is unclear what Lohan has to do with these movies, if anything.

Speaking of “Mondo Topless”, Lohan’s newest movie, Chapter 27, opens today. No, mentioning the word “topless” in a transition doesn’t mean she’ll necessarily be baring anything special in the movie, perverts. And, no, I will not avoid making jokes about Chapter 27 needing to be renamed Chapter 11 after it gets its weekend box office receipts back.

Our little girl is all grown up and working hard for those Razzies. I don’t know about you, but my heart is already melting. I may need to get that checked out.

News Courtesy of Coming Soon

Movie stuff at VanityFair, Thrillist, IndieWire, Film School Rejects, and The Broken Projector Podcast@brokenprojector | Writing short stories at Adventitious.