Let’s All Guess What the Just-Bought ‘Bad in Bed’ Comedy Pitch Is About

By  · Published on November 14th, 2011

There’s nothing quite like a multi-layered, deeply clever film title to get the creative juices going, to pump the blood, to send Hollywood into a tizzy. And then there are other titles. Deadline Henderson reports that David Ellison’s Skydance Productions “has made a preemptive acquisition of [comedy pitch] Bad In Bed.” I’m not entirely sure what a “preemptive acquisition” means, but I think it’s safe to assume it’s another spat of weird wordplay from Finke (were they trying to block someone else from getting at it? Isn’t that big business in a nutshell? Why am I still fixated on this?), so we’ll move on.

The script for the film will be penned by Pamela Falk and Michael Ellis, the screenwriting duo who previously wrote The Wedding Planner and An Invisible Sign (better known as “that Jessica Alba math film that no one saw”). The pitch is described as “a racy high concept comedy,” but with all details being closely guarded. Unfortunately, with a title like Bad in Bed and a script that’s already described as “racy,” it’s pretty fair to say that the film will likely be another romantic comedy like The Wedding Planner with some added spicy details ‐ like a leading lady who excels at everything but getting down with the menfolk. But what if, just what if, we’re wrong?

Follow along with me after the break, where we’ll discuss some possible other plotlines for Bad in Bed. It’s Monday ‐ let’s have some fun.

1. Bad in Bed will center on an IKEA department manager, Betty Badders, who rules the “customer experience” in her retail wasteland of well-priced and somewhat well-made retail goods with an iron fist. Hated by her co-workers and underlings, Betty finds herself tricked into attending a store retreat that doesn’t actually exist ‐ she’s really just been locked in the store over the weekend, a weekend in which her particular IKEA is shut down for floor-cleaning. Suddenly, it’s just ol’ Bad Betty and the one blue collar stud IKEA has hired for the job ‐ cue sexual awakening.

2. It’s not racy comedy at all ‐ that’s all misdirection ‐ it’s a fun animated romp about lambs that live in Bedford. Baaahhd indeed.

3. It’s just another college sex comedy.

4. The film is really about a cat named Sir Baddington Pawsworth and it centers on him trying to lure lady cats into his fleecy kitty bed. Think Puss in Boots spin-off.

5. Who are we all kidding? The film will be about a successful, beautiful careerwoman who holds one dirty little secret ‐ she’s really a virgin. Instead of a forward-thinking film that doesn’t place value judgements on anyone’s sexual experiences or choices, Bad in Bed will make our leading lady (likely to be played by Kate Hudson) feel like a loser and an idiot who no man will want unless she gives it up. She’ll meet a man she wants to impress, which will lead her down a rabbit hole of sexual debauchery with a number of other men, all in a desperate attempt to bank up all that sexin’ she “missed out on.” She’ll then discover that the object of her affection is also a virgin. Whoops!

My terrible ideas aside ‐ what do you think Bad in Bed will be about?