Movies

12 Large Monster Friends We Made Along The Way

Do you find yourself up late at night thinking about how cool it would be if Godzilla was your friend? So do we.
Large Monster Friends
By  · Published on May 29th, 2019

9. Megalodon (The Meg)

The Meg

The same summer we got the Rampage animals we got The Meg, solidifying 2018 as the best year for large boys. “Meg” is short for megalodon, the prehistoric equivalent of Jaws on steroids, and it’d be the perfect pal for a little fun in the sun. Picture this: riding bareback on your huge, sea-faring friend as you pummel through hoards of surfer dudes who become enveloped by the Meg’s gaping maw and cease to exist. No more crowded beaches! Additionally, everyone laid out relaxing in the sand would flee in terror, so you’d have plenty of space free of grating boombox tunes and screaming children to crack open a cold one and chill out under your umbrella. Getting the Meg to reach a docile enough state for all of this might be a bit tricky, but if you can take any inspiration from Lionel Cosgrove, it’s that with enough tranquilizers, anything is possible.


8. Giant Toad (Pan’s Labyrinth)

Pans Labyrinth Giant Toad

Toad? Cool. Big toad? Extremely cool. I think the best part about the giant toad from Pan’s Labyrinth is that if you brought that fucker around with you, you’d be the talk of the town. You could put a little dog collar around its neck and walk it on a leash throughout your neighborhood, and that would just be the coolest thing. Golden retriever whom? Before an evil little girl made it swallow some rocks and throw up its insides for absolutely no reason at all, that toad had some real potential for making the best pet imaginable. We can already agree that frogs and toads are dope and make good friends (check out Frog and Toad are Friends as proof), so just imagine how that concept would tenfold with a toad more than quadruple its size. Big things are better, and a big toad is a testament to this undisputed fact. Do not fight me on this.


7. Ents (Lord of the Rings)

Lotr Ent

Sure, it takes them about twenty-four hours to complete a single sentence in their native tongue, but Ents are the chillest bros this side of Isengard. They’ll let you hang out in their branches like they’re your own personal jungle gym, share the magical water they drink to help you grow big and strong, and they’ll drown your enemies and destroy their fortress in the waters of their own busted damn. They’ve got branch arms and legs so they can take you wherever and you can take them as well – like maybe to a concert, where you can sit atop their oaken shoulders and be unobstructed by sweaty six-footers in snapbacks. Also, they’ve got filing cabinets full of old poems that take hours to finish and can help you fall right to sleep. Not to mention, riding them is energy efficient and a great way to help fight climate change.


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Brianna Zigler is an entertainment writer with bylines at Polygon, Little White Lies, Thrillist, The Film Stage, Bright Wall/Dark Room, and more. She runs a bi-monthly newsletter called That's Weird. Follow her and her big beautiful brain on Twitter: @justbrizigs.