There will be an inappropriately big funeral for that one Jorah that mattered so much even though all those other people died
Unless HBO is on some really misguided bullshit, Jorah is dead. This is just the sort of emotional push Daenerys needs to propel her into the Last War (a role we had predicted would fall to Jon). And so, despite a shit load of people dying, we bet that Jorah’s death gets elevated above the rest, and he gets a special hero’s funeral.
There will be a surprise wedding
Okay, so here us out—there was at least one big wedding in every season of Game of Thrones up until season 6. Season 1 had Drogo/Daenerys, season 2 had Robb/Talisa, season 3 gave us Tyrion/Sansa and the Red Wedding, season 4 had the Purple Wedding, season 5 had the horror that was Ramsay/Sansa. And then, from season 6 onwards, there has been zero content on the wedding front. Of course, we can probably expect a lot of loose ends and whatnot being tied in the series finale, including weddings all around for whoever’s left once the dust settles, but leaving everything to the end is exactly why some people whine about Return of the King being like 33% epilogue.
Next week feels a little like the calm before the storm take 2, and considering we’re expecting it to be half calm before the storm, half “yay we didn’t die,” it seems like a wedding would be pretty easy to weave into the “celebratory feast” vibe already going on—and a great way of adding some extra narrative interest (or even some shock value). Jon embracing his Targaryen roots and marrying his aunt seems most likely, both because Davos literally proposed the idea in the season premiere and because it seems like a fitting “thanks for sacrificing most of your army so that Winterfell didn’t get totally wrecked” gesture. That said, maybe the show will surprise us. Maybe Brienne and Jaime will outdo Arya and Gendry on the “0 to 100” front by jumping straight from attempted flirting to actually married. Or maybe Arya will decide she wants a blacksmith as her reward for saving the entire goddamn world. Or maybe those old standards Gilly/Sam and/or Grey Worm/Missandei will decide to finally fill out the paperwork since they’re basically married already. So many options.
Ser Onion Knight will be a bit spiritually shook
A spiritual re-think? His mortal enemy did a good deed? Character growth as a result? Maybe?!?! Davos has been the emotional grounding of the show before (see: season 5), and we’re pretty sure the aftermath of the Battle for the Dawn is going to be a doozy for him, what with Lyanna Mormont’s death (you know he’s gonna have feelings about that), processing what went down with Melisandre, and realizing that he recruited Jon’s little sister’s beau to the cause without even knowing it. Come on, Liam Cunningham. Make us feel all the emotions. We’ve got faith in you.
Tyrion’s strengthened relationship with Sansa will have Daenerys-related consequences
Well look, Missandei overheard them joking about how great their lives would be if Daenerys weren’t in the picture, so that’s not great. Daenerys excels at seeing enemies everywhere, and she already feels a certain way about Tyrion and Sansa’s allegiances. Mayhaps Jon will have to choose between Tyrion/Sansa and Daenerys? That’s just the sort of distracting-drama-when-there-are-bigger-fish-(Cersei)-to-fry that we’d expect.
At least a few people will get plotlines
So here’s the thing—we predicted Tormund and Podrick would be in trouble because at the moment they do not actually have plot lines, especially now that we know exactly why Tormund is called “Giantsbane.” Sure, Pod has his “(not-so-)secret sex god” thing, but that’s not so much a plotline as a running gag. So fingers crossed at least one of them gets something to do next week.
Bronn will show up
Remember when Cersei gave Bronn a big dumb crossbow and told him to go murder her brothers? Well, it’s been a minute, and we think it’s about time to circle back to that plot. Bronn has been traveling at a season 2 pace instead of using the expressway established some point during season 5, so it’s gotta happen. Do we think he’s actually going to kill Tyrion and/or Jaime? Hell no.
We will continue to have no reason to believe that Varys isn’t a merman
Truly, it’s all but confirmed at this point.
Related Topics: Game of Thrones, HBO
