Dubious: Danny Boyle Approached to Helm Next Bond

You may wonder why any story we grab from UK’s The Sun is automatically taken with a shovel of salt over the right shoulder, but I’ve got a fairly reasonable explanation. The most obvious reason is that they are known rumor-mongers. The second most obvious reason is that whenever I go to their website to get details on a story I’m supposed to write, I always get distracted by another blurb on their site. This time, while trying to read the work of a writer who should find stardom in Simple Wiki, I saw a story about Michelle Williams going topless for her next film and thought, “Now there’s some distracting news.” Well played, The Sun.

Luckily, I soldiered through and read the Bond news which is, not exactly news. It’s basically the information that Danny Boyle has been asked to direct the next installment in the James Bond universe, a list of connections he has to the production, and editorializing disguised as objective reporting about why the project is perfect for Boyle.

What the story seems to overlook is that they could basically write the same story about almost any current semi-action property that Hollywood, Pinewood, Bollywood, and the Ugandan Film Concern has lined up in the queue. Boyle is a major commodity for the moment, and he’s getting offers from everyone.

Speaking of which. This just in: Danny Boyle should totally direct the script project I’m working on. It’s about a tragically poor Indian boy who’s infected by a blood virus that he can only cure by traveling to the surface of the sun. Expect The Sun to report that soon.

What do you think? Could Boyle make a bad ass Bond?

Movie stuff at VanityFair, Thrillist, IndieWire, Film School Rejects, and The Broken Projector [email protected] | Writing short stories at Adventitious.