Because You Asked For It: A Facebook ‘Mafia Wars’ Movie

By  · Published on June 28th, 2010

With every announcement that some random piece of plastic from the 1980s is going to be given the big screen treatment, a cry goes up about the lack of creativity in Hollywood right now. Of course, we all know that it’s not a lack of creativity, but a lack of balls when it comes to delivering the kind of quality that audiences will flock to the theater for even if the title of the movie doesn’t ring a nostalgic bell. However, with this announcement, it might actually be the creativity that’s dead, too.

We laughed when there was going to be a facebook movie. We laughed when another computer game is chosen. How will we respond when a computer game you play on facebook gets the go-ahead?

According to Pajiba, a company who should be embarrassed to have its name printed (Radar Pictures) is going to develop the facebook app that tells you when your friends need a horse head or they’ll lose their turf is what they want to focus on next. Let that sink in. Then go for a jog, do something healthy, then come back and bash your head hard enough against the computer screen to produce that calming amnesia effect.

Since I didn’t read the press release, I imagine it went something like this:

From the production wizards who brought you Son of the Mask, The Heartbreak Kid, Swing Vote, and All About Steve comes an idea so fresh it could grow daisies – Mafia Wars! It’s like Grand Theft Auto without all the killing, prostitute rape, or actually controlling a character you can see on the screen in a fluid way!

I demand a Mafia Wars/Farmville cross-0ver by 2012. Make it happen, Radar.

However, we still have at least one more rung to crawl down in our decent: need a blockbuster movie made? There’s an app for that. As soon as they announce they’re developing a movie based on that iPhone game where you run across the tops of buildings, that will be the date you can put on Hollywood’s tombstone.

Why?

Movie stuff at VanityFair, Thrillist, IndieWire, Film School Rejects, and The Broken Projector [email protected] | Writing short stories at Adventitious.