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17 Things We Learned From the ‘Edward Scissorhands’ Commentary

Edward Scissorhands
Twentieth Century Fox
By  · Published on May 10th, 2012

If you’ve ever seen a Tim Burton movie, you know the guy is probably pretty awkward. At the very least, he’s gotta be soft-spoken, right? Which begs the question, “How interesting can a Tim Burton-only commentary be?” Well, we’re here to answer that very question with this week’s Commentary Commentary.

In honor of Dark Shadows, Burton’s latest collaboration with Johnny Depp, we’ve decided to go back and delve into their first pairing, Edward Scissorhands.

Burton took the commentary duties by his lonesome here, and I’m sure amid all the fumbling of words and general gracelessness there’s enough to pack in here to hold our interest. At the very least it’ll be an entertaining car wreck. So here, without further ado, is everything we learned about Edward Scissorhands from listening to its director, Tim Burton, speak on it. We didn’t learn Tim Burton is a strange guy. We knew that one already.

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Commentators: Tim Burton (director), awkwardness and long silences, but those come with the territory.

Best in Commentary

“I’ve realized this film could be a result of watching a lot of those K-tel ads with all these weird products growing up. I didn’t realize the inspiration could be the Pocket Fisherman.”

“…”

Final Thoughts

Without question, the Edward Scissorhands commentary is the worst commentary we’ve covered in this column. Burton, with all of his fumbling and rambling, uneasiness and nerves, simply doesn’t work by himself. When he isn’t sitting quietly – Make no mistake on this. There are LOOOOOOOOOONG stretches of silence on this commentary – he’s pointing out obvious subtext or reflecting on his days in Suburbia. Really, Tim Burton? You like to use the opening credits to set the mood? You like how Danny Elfman helps to make that mood a reality? Fascinating.

You have to hand it to Burton. He has to know how awkward he comes off, yet he still sat down to record this commentary track as well as others. We won’t be covering many of those, though the one he did with Martin Landau on Ed Wood sounds interesting. That’s mostly Landau, though.

This was a chance to explore how Tim Burton comes off by himself while talking about one of his best works to date. Simply put, it’s uninteresting, monotonous, and ends up being a chore. Sorry, Mr. Burton. We love your old movies, but we don’t want to hear you talking about them ever again.

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