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Director Jon M. Chu has already helped successfully usher the Step Up films into the realm of true franchise greatness – the filmmaker directed both Step Up 2: The Streets and Step Up 3D, ensuring a long life for the world’s most beloved dance franchise and don’t you dare argue that point with me – and now he looks to be turning his attention to a generation desperate for still more popping and locking.
Deadline reports that Chu is now producing Can’t Touch This, a new dance feature that is billed as “a high school dance comedy set in the golden era of the 1990s.” Although the film’s specific storyline has not yet be revealed, it seems safe to assume that the dulcet tones of M.C. Hammer will prove to be a large part of the feature’s plot and/or soundtrack. If nothing else, we can surely expect to see a bevy of parachute pants and mind-blowing bits of neon exploding across the screen. Chu and his fellow producer Hieu Ho and screenwriters Annie Mebane and Steve Basilone are lucky enough to have chosen an era rich with lots of potential dances to pull from, from the mundane (Vogueing) to the enduring (The Tootsee Roll). But which dances will make the final cut? We’e got some ideas.
If Chu and company are really going for true nineties authenticity, there are a hefty number of dance crazes his feature needs to make some hip-shaking room for. Get down!
1987 – The Hammer Dance, made popular by M.C. Hammer just, well, dancing.
1989 – The Electric Slide, as made popular by the Marcia Griffiths’ song “Electric Boogie.” (Variations include The Freeze, Cowboy Motion, and the Cowboy Boogie.)
1990 – Vogueing, as made popular by the Madonna song “Vogue” and entire groups of people who are unable to move their feet while dancing.
1990 – The Humpty Dance, as made popular by the Digital Underground song “The Humpty Dance” and people who also like fairy tales and/or large eggs.
1990 – The Carlton, as made popular by The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and people who can’t dance.
1991 – The Achy Breaky Heart, as made popular by the Billy Ray Cyrus song “Achy Breaky Heart” and scads of gym teachers who enjoyed subjecting their students to dance training.
1992 – The Rump Shaker, as made popular by the Wreckx-N-Effect song “Rump Shaker.”
1991 – The Jump, as made popular by the Kris Kross song “Jump” and people who still love to wear their clothes backwards.
1994 – The Tootsee Roll, as made popular by the 69 Boyz song “The Tootsee Roll” and every single person I attended middle school with.
1995 – The Macarena, as made popular by the Los del Rio song “Macarena.”
1996 – The Train, as made popular by the Quad City DJ’s’ song “C’Mon N’ Ride It (The Train)” and people who are opposed to traveling in cars.
1996 – Da Dip, as made popular by the Freak Nasty song “Da’ Dip.”
1998 – The Jiggy, as made popular by the Will Smith song “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It.”
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What dances would you like to see in Can’t Touch This? No, you can’t just answer “The Hammer Dance” sixteen times in a row.
