TV Review: The Office 5.4 – Crime Aid

The Office: Crime Aid

The Office, NBC, Airs Thursday 9/8c

Episode: “Crime Aid” (Season 5, Episode 4)

Synopsis: In an effort to help Pam (Jenna Fischer) afford art school, Michael (Steve Carell) gets her a job at corporate. Holly (Amy Ryan) and Michael get an early start at getting it on, and Dwight (Rainn Wilson) makes an ultimatum to Angela.

Review: You have to love an episode that is pretty much a fail-proof guide on how not to get a girlfriend. Memo to all my fellow Rejects, the third date does not signal time to ask a girl to sleep with you. Although if it did work for Michael Scott then you have to think it’d wor… okay, no. Anything that works for Michael Scott HAS to be something no other male should practice in their everyday life.

The episode also made it clear to me that Phyllis (Phyllis Smith) has earned her place as the most underrated character on the show. Her shameless honesty comes across so natural that if you told me, “Hey, I don’t know if you knew this but she isn’t acting. Phyllis Smith doesn’t even know she’s on a TV show,” I wouldn’t be shocked. I might even laugh a little. And why the hell is this review starting to read like a book report on “Cat in the Hat?”

Props to the writers for introducing a minor wild card in the cameo by Roy (David Denman), Pam’s ex. Even if it was unintentional he was able to introduce a tiny bit of jealousy in Jim, something that is definitely not foreign to most people in long distance relationships. Bigger props to Jim for not traveling down that road and making a total ass of himself. He is engaged after all, not some college freshman wondering if his girlfriend is having a quickie outside her hometown Wal-Mart. But then again, that is what separates Jim from Roy, and it’s why Jim is with Pam and Roy works at the Vitamin Store.

“Crime-Aid” ended up teaching us a lesson that the Beatles, not Bruce Springsteen, were more than happy to do before in a song, the idea that all you need is love. A hug that goes for $1,000 may seem like a bit much to some people, but the message rings true. Material possessions are fleeting, the relationships we build every day are not. Sigh.

The affections of all the Dunder Mifflin employees, the ones dating I should say, will be put to the test as the fifth season amps up to the finale and it makes me wonder which relationship will be able to make the cut.In fact, let’s start The Office pool. It’s only appropriate with how many other ones there are out there in the work world. Here are the current odds, in my mind, of the relationships at Dunder Mifflin and their chances of sticking around. Keep in mind these are only for the relationships that are out in the open, not an in the bathroom affair like Dwight and Angela’s (Angela Kinsey), although I’d say they will eventually start dating again.

Jim and Pam- 99% – They’re the couple you love to love and if Roy can’t tear them apart, what can? An appearance by John C. Reilly as Dewey Cox?

Michael and Holly- 10% – I honestly thought about putting 0% but I am going to trick myself into hoping the writers keep their relationship beyond next episode. I have grown very fond of Holly’s character, not in some creepy stalker way like a lot of people did with Jeri Ryan on “Star Trek: Voyager”, but with so many characters on the show absolutely loathing Michael, it was a breath of fresh air to see someone actually attracted and operating on his same wavelength. No, Dwight doesn’t count. Although, there is definitely a certain Smithers to Mr. Burns vibe you get from the two of them … we will have to check in on this theory every once in a while. Maybe this is why my cousin is convinced that Michael is a closet homosexual. And the fact that I can’t refute that theory at all makes me love this show that much more. Only in America people! And France. Those nutty croissant lovers will do anything. I know, I have watched The Dreamers.

Angela and Andy (Ed Helms)- 0% This little ceremonial charade may go on until the season finale, maybe the beginning of next season at the latest, but I have no doubt that their engagement will come to an end. Why? Well, if it doesn’t then Dwight will go postal on everyone and chop their heads off with some sort of beet crusher.

And am I the only one who watched this episode, or any episode with Dwight, and thought that he would be the worst father ever? I’m no scientist but I’d be willing to bet that social awkwardness is hereditary. So a little Dwight would be screwed. And that storyline would be hilarious. Could we get an illegitimate son for Dwight from some prostitute his father took him to in a rite of passage? Please?

Up Next Week: Pam gets embarrassed when she is the only one at corporate dressed up in a costume for Halloween. Holly and Michael make the long trip to Nashua after they get some shocking news from corporate (Could it be that there will be a ban on dating fellow employees?) And Dwight tries to torment Andy and get under his skin.

For more coverage of your favorite shows, check out the Control Freaks Archive.

Did you see the “The Office” this week? If so, what did you think?

Adam Sweeney has a background in journalism, having spent 4 years on the Lone Star Lutheran as an Opinions and Arts & Entertainment columnist. He graduated in May 2008 from Texas Lutheran University with a Dramatic Media degree and hopes to become a filmmaker/journalist/radio host/actor extraordinaire. He also writes film and play scripts and figures if Good Luck Chuck can make it to the big screen then why can't he? He can also be read at as a feature writer on all things basketball, and his personal blog covers everything from politics to why Keira Knightley is looking more like Jack Skellington every day. (

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