Xavier Samuel

20th Century Fox

Think about Frankenstein. You know, the iconic monster tale that has instilled a healthy dose of fear into generations of readers, and then moviegoers, with a myriad of ghoulish phobias. Strange lights up on that hilltop? Definitely a monster coming to life somewhere nearby. Graveyards at night? There’s a looting for sure. Standing anywhere near a pond holding a flower? No thanks. Now take that story, the legend of a mad scientist and his madder assistant crafting together a hulking man made out of spare parts — the ones just laying around a cemetery, like they do — and that monster’s quest to function in everyday society without accidentally murdering anyone, maybe get married to a lady with amazing hair, and just go one day without someone calling him Frankenstein, and think of ways to improve it. More pitchforks? Nah. Make him wear a cute hoodie? Sorry, I, Frankenstein already beat you there. Set the story in modern times and move the action to Los Angeles? Bingo.

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Plush

It seems fitting that the teaser trailer for the story of a deeply troubled rock star is fashioned in the style of a music video more than anything else. But though young Hayley’s living her own personal episode of Behind the Music in Catherine Hardwicke‘s Plush, her story at least deserves a trailer with some dialogue. Hayley (Emily Browning) is a rising rock star who swiftly dives off the deep end when her brother and bandmate overdoses. But while she’s in the midst of her downward spiral of drugs, booze, bad bleach jobs, and sex (Did you get that she’s sexual? They really want you to understand that she’s sexual), she finds inspiration and friendship (the sex kind) in the guitarist hired to replace her brother (Xavier Samuel). Check out the trailer for yourself here:

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Adore Movie

The trailer for Adore, and presumably the movie itself, leaps unstoppably from one impulsive decision to the next. It’s the adult drama version of a horror movie where we’re yelling for them not to go up the stairs (or not to have sex with their best friend’s son), but they do it anyway. Why don’t movies ever listen to their audiences? A lot fewer people would get slashed by masked killers, and a lot fewer women would give in to the impulse to feel what the fruit of their friends’ loins does to their loins. The women of Anne Fontaine‘s (Coco Before Chanel) new movie are Roz (Robin Wright) and Lil (Naomi Watts), two childhood friends who now have children of their own. On what looks like a Blue Lagoon-style bit of isolation with their sons, Harold (Ben Mendelsohn) and Ian (Xavier Samuel), things heat up, a ton of bad decisions are made, and the sons swap moms. So, yes, it’s basically the prestige version of this. And, yes, it’s incredibly sexy:

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Drift Movie 2013

Drift, from the appropriately named Morgan O’Neill and Ben Nott, treks back to the 1970s to explore some truly horrendous wigs and the wild west of surfing down under. This is where the sport evolved from hobby into an international industry. In the movie, Jimmy (Xavier Samuel) and Andy Kelly (Myles Pollard) struggle with family debt, the drug underground and societal backlash while opening up a surf shop out of their backyard. Sam Worthington is the biggest name here with perhaps the worst wig of all, playing a wandering surf photographer that becomes friends with the brothers. The trailer showcases a blend between a sports movie and an Aussie crime flick. Check it out for yourself:

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This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr puts on some 3D glasses to look at some puss… in boots, that is. He proceeds to rewrite fairy tale fiction to include more bodily function humor, an egg-shaped Zach Galifianakis and a hairy but still sexy Salma Hayek. Then, he heads to the reference department of his local library to discover who really wrote the complete works of William Shakespeare. When all signs point to Neil Miller as the real author, Kevin gives up, realizing he’s out of time. So he brings sexy back and heads out to kidnap Amanda Seyfried so he can occupy Hollywood and start a revolution together… or get arrested.

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published: 12.19.2014
A-
published: 12.18.2014
C-
published: 12.17.2014
B+


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