Vinnie Jones

jackman

What is Casting Couch? It’s desperately trying to round up all of the casting news that’s been put out there today, but those casting agents over on the west coast have been busy beavers. This time we’ve got news about what funnyman Tim Heidecker and scaryman Vinnie Jones have planned next. Harlan Coben’s novel, “Six Years,” has yet to be published, but it’s already got a film adaptation in the works. And the film adaptation has yet to have a writer or director, but THR is reporting that it already has a star. Hugh Jackman, who’s best know for being Wolverine in all of those X-Men movies are for earning an Oscar nomination for Les Miserables (heard of him?), has been attached to play the lead role of the film, which is about a man seeing an obituary for the husband of one of his lost loves in the newspaper, deciding to go to the funeral to catch a glimpse of her, and realizing that the woman there who’s claiming to be his wife isn’t the woman that he was in love with six years ago at all. This apparently brings up all sorts of questions about memory, what he really knows, and what he can actually believe. Well, either that or the dead guy happened to get divorced and remarried over the course of the last six years. You should really check Facebook for stuff like that.

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John Krasinski

The deluge of rumors concerning James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy continues unabated. This time around the source is Comic Book Movie, who says they have a shadowy operative close to the production and his or her latest round of snooping has led them to believe that not only is The Office’s John Krasinski the latest in a parade of actors to read for the role of Peter Quell, but that there’s also a shortlist of actors being considered for the role of the Guardians’ resident green guy, Drax the Destroyer. Rumor has it that Generation Kill actor Brian Patrick Wade; that guy from the Old Spice commercials, Isaiah Mustafa; and former professional wrestler Dave Bautista are all being looked at. Presumably they’re in some Hollywood back lot right now, letting Gunn take test footage of them destroying things.

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Before it had even filled out a single supporting role, the upcoming prison break actioner The Tomb was already blowing my mind with its casting, because it managed to become the movie that finally fulfilled my childhood fantasy of having Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger team up as a duo of badasses. The film intrigued further, however, when it cast Jim Caviezel, an actor with some serious chops, as the evil prison warden that Sly and Arnie would be running afoul of. Maybe this movie would have even more to offer than just the chance to watch the two most preeminent ass-kickers of the 80s do their thing in tandem? Well now a big casting update from Variety all but confirms that this one has more than one trick up its sleeve. Four new names have been added to, or are in talks to join the cast, and whether it’s because of talent, notoriety, or a combination of the two, each name is rather newsworthy in their own right. Perhaps the most exciting of the bunch is Amy Ryan, who has signed on to play the Stallone character’s business partner and potential love interest. Whether it’s performing comedy on something like The Office, or doing drama in something like The Wire, Ryan has proven that she’s a great hand whatever the situation, so her inclusion should go a long way in classing this big, dumb action movie up.

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smokinaces2-header

Sure, the title of the direct-to-DVD follow-up to Joe Carnahan’s wicked violent Smokin’ Aces isn’t Electric Bugaloo, but I happen to like it better than Smokin’ Aces 2: Assassin’s Ball.

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untitled-header

(Untitled) is a sharp satire, pitched at a precise tone, that’s the perfect movie for anyone who’s ever questioned what makes some modern art, art.

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31daysofhorror-reckoning

All aboard the Midnight Meat Train for a bloody, violent trip through the New York Subway. So basically a pretty normal night caught on film.

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earlyedition-header

Since I know that your life is not complete if you don’t get your morning news, I am happy to be back with you on this fine Monday morning for this week’s first Early Edition.

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A new trailer for a thrilling invasion film from the folks at Funny or Die. And by “NSFW to the Max,” we mean that it has some dong in it.

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coronersreport_newheader

Now on DVD and BluRay comes a gruesome subway trip through the twisted mind of Clive Barker. Get your ticket for a ride on The Midnight Meat Train.

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Hell Ride Poster

We felt the earth move during the Hell Ride press junket in Los Angeles, but weren’t quite sure if that was the earthquake, or the arrival of Vinnie Jones. Seriously, this guy is so kickass that even Chuck Norris doesn’t hold a candle to him.

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Vinnie Jones in Midnight Meat Train

That’s the first and last railroad related pun you’ll find in this report. Unfortunately, we offer no such promises regarding puns involving gay porn.

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published: 11.21.2014
D
published: 11.21.2014
B+
published: 11.19.2014
C+
published: 11.19.2014
B-, C


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