Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; perpetually full. This is the weekly column that begs the question, “why don’t they just cut off that Salisbury kid’s fingers?!” Each and every Friday I wheel out the very finest, most choice terrible films and force you to sit there and smile as I sing their praises. Despite what certain recent exposé articles may have espoused, I did not suffer a major head injury trying to recreate the parkour scene from Casino Royale. Therefore I still have the cognitive capacity to understand exactly why these films are bad, but sometimes we partake of things we know are bad for us. To that end, I will pair each film with a junkfood item on which you can gorge while you watch the film and bid adieu to each dying brain cell. Brace yourselves this week kiddos, our foray into the unrefined brings us far too close to Vampire’s Kiss.