Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Just a quick question to stir up the imagination. What do you think 4th of July is like at Michael Bay’s house? You think his friends and family sit around in lawn chairs sipping Corona while Bay sets off a bottle rocket every four or five minutes, or do you think it’s a blockbuster show of spectacle. I like to think he takes it easy on the one day when the rest of the country is making their own ‘splosions fest. But that’s just me. After this weekend, actually after the week since last Wednesday, Bay will have a whole lot more firework money to toss around.

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Editor’s Note: Spoilers have been CGI’d into this article. Please be warned. There are two types of people in the world: those that were eagerly awaiting Michael Bay’s third film in the Transformers franchise and those that were eagerly awaiting being able to shit on another one of his movies. There are few directors who have such a divisive line between love and hate among audiences. Uwe Boll is probably 95% hated, Spielberg probably 95% loved, and guys like Tarantino somewhere around 70% loved. Bay seems to be 50/50. Half the people absolutely embrace his sexy, patriotic slow-motion explosion escapades while the other half think he couldn’t craft a story on how to get out of a brown paper bag that wasn’t tedious, over-long, and poorly written. Luckily for everyone, Film School Rejects has two Roberts, each from different Bay camps. So below find 10 Things from Transformers: Dark of the Moon that Robert Fure liked and 10 Things Rob Hunter didn’t.

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This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr decides to dump Megan Fox and hook up with a sexy British model who will shake her ass in front of a 3D camera for Michael Bay. Sadly, he couldn’t make that happen, so he heads down to the scooter pool at the local community college, hoping to find a free-spirited chick with a name that’s impossible to pronounce. Again, no dice, Chicago. So, Kevin abandons all hope and hides in a theater for almost three hours, watching Michael Bay’s latest spectacle. Then he postpones seeing Larry Crowne so he can stalk teachers from the aforementioned community college, hoping one is as drunk and pretty as Julia Roberts is in her latest film. How could this possibly end badly?

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly entertainment news column that doesn’t usually participate in such overt misogyny. However, in a week that has inundated us with more Michael Bayhem than the world was built to handle, it would like to take out its man card, flop it down on the table like a wet fish and display it to the world. Yes, this is about to get sexual. And no, it will not last long. That’s just how any good late-nite movie news linkdump rolls. It’s a slow news night. Allow me to illustrate right off the bat: Tonight’s lead story is about Brooklyn Decker, model-turned-actress and all-around attractive human being who has been cast in What to Expect When You’re Expecting alongside Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez. Chris Rock will also star. The only thing about this story that I find interesting is the image above, which has less to do with a movie based on a pregnancy self-help book and more to do with reasons why anyone would want to make Brooklyn Decker pregnant in the first place. I think we all still win.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news and commentary column that is a little disoriented at the moment. But don’t worry, it will find its way. Oh, there’s a few Michael Bay-related stories to talk about. That’s so much better… With the release of Transformers: Dark of the Moon happening this evening at 9pm or midnight or whatever, there’s been a lot of talk about Michael Bay, the most divisive man in cinema (at the moment). Today brought several must-reads, including GQ’s Oral history of Michael Bay exposé, which chronicles the life and times of the man who demands it all to be awesome. I also enjoyed this defense of Michael Bay piece by Jacob Hall at Movies.com. It’s a delightful look at the internal struggle movie-lovers face when confronted with pure, unfiltered awesome.

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“Michael is actually an auteur in the true sense of the word. Every movie he makes reflects his personal creative vision. You may like it, you may not—but those movies are him without compromise.” This is how actor Ben Affleck described the work of his Armageddon director, Michael Bay. He’s a man that has long been chronicled as a tyrant, demanding everything about his movies to be “awesome.” For better or worse, Bay’s films reflect his own distinct vision. Moments into any one of them, it’s clear that you are watching “a Michael Bay film.” That’s the way things have gone with the Transformers franchise. Bay has, with mixed results, taken a popular line of toys and made them into his own wild, larger-than-life summer event series. And with Transformers: Dark of the Moon, he has placed upon the franchise a massive exclamation point. Like its predecessors, it’s got plenty of problems, but when it comes down to delivering some jaw-dropping, technically precise spectacle, we are once again reminded that there’s no one who can do Transformers quite like Michael Bay.

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Hey, guess what you’re going to get this week if you see Transformers: Dark of the Moon in theaters. Explosion! Just in case you’d forgotten this fact, and I’m not sure how you would, Paramount has released one final trailer for Michael Bay’s grand finale that unleashes all sorts of hell upon your computer screen. It promises us a massive amount of destruction, robots in full frame and all the most mind-bending art the folks at Industrial Light and Magic can deliver. It’s a magical, revolutionary minute of visual effects brilliance that you’re not going to want to miss. I’m being hyperbolic, sure, but this stuff is exciting.

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In a few hours, it won’t matter anymore. At least that’s the hope. In a few days, the world of movie punditry will have moved on to Shield-wielding Americans and broody kids with wands. We won’t even remember why we were so worked up in the first place. But for the moment, the noise around Michael Bay and the Transformers franchise is at an all-time high. You’d think that we’d be talking about the merits (or lack thereof) of the latest entry, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, or the legacy-to-be of one of the most successful film franchises of the modern era. No, there’s little talk about the trilogy’s place. We still can’t get over the fact that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen broke our critical hearts. After 2007′s Transformers earned Michael Bay his second most critically acclaimed film (57% on Rotten Tomatoes), the second film was trounced by the media. 20% Rotten, a big sweaty mess of excess. You know the story. We’ve been talking about it ever since. And I’m here today to tell you, dear friends, that it’s time to let it go.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a powerful nightly look at the highs and lows of the seedy underbelly of the film industry. Usually stuff that involves references to Michael Bay, videos starring plastic figurines and swooning over Monty Python. All of these things are represented in tonight’s very special entry… Believe. That’s what the audiences at the Los Angeles Film Festival did this weekend, as they elected Attack the Block as their Audience Award Winner. The aliens v. hoodlums flick continues to gain steam, even outside the more comfortable genre audiences it’s faced thus far. Winning at SXSW, where the fan base is there in force, is one thing. Winning at LAFF is another big step toward finding mainstream success.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column that rounds up junk and stuff. It also likes J.J. Abrams’ movies, but not so much that it can’t laugh at them, as well. It is also currently being written by an author who is distracted with Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules. It’s surprisingly charming. Geek icon Simon Pegg released a book recently, “Nerd Do Well,” chronicling his life as a now-famous nerd. Personally, I can’t wait to read it. In the mean time, one passage about George Lucas and the Star Wars prequels has become a topic of discussion. Did Lucas apologize for the prequels? That’s the question of the day.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly entertainment news compendium that rounds up all the best links from here, there and everywhere in between. It usually isn’t quite so obsessed with lists ordered numerically, but today is Friday and Friday is fun day. We so excited for the weekend, so lets read some lists! We open tonight with Tom Cruise looking ridiculous in the first image from Rock of Ages. The Adam Shankman directed film will see Cruise play Stacee Jaxx, a famous rocker who falls for a fresh-off-the-bus country bumpkin. It’s another one of those 80s nostalgia trips, star filled and ready to remind us that anyone whose name is Stacee with two e’s is not to be trusted.

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What is Movie News After Dark? Well, it ain’t afraid of no ghosts. That’s for sure. Tonight’s top story is that Paramount Pictures (via Yahoo) has released a gallery of new images from Transformers: Dark of the Moon. The above image shows Optimus Prime kneeling before his mentor, Sentinel Prime (to be voiced by Leonard Nimoy). The entire gallery can be found at /Film. Just know that most of the other images focus on the humans, and that’s boring.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s usually a rather tame and family friendly nightly column that rounds up all the best and most interesting news and views from the world of film. It’s worth noting, as it doesn’t always lead with headlines about Anne Hathaway’s rear end. It’s usually something Doctor Who or Michael Bay related. Pick your poison, I suppose. This will likely go down as the dumbest lead story I’ve ever run in MNAD, but the Sunday edition works on the conceit that movie news happens over the weekend. Spoiler: movie news doesn’t usually happen over the weekend, so we’re doing our best. Also, do you really have a problem talking about Anne Hathaway’s ass? Apparently the tightness of her costume and aggressiveness of her stunt work on the set of The Dark Knight Rises has given other cast and crew a unique view of her hind-quarters. There’s something news-worthy in that, I’m sure of it.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly thing about movie stuff. Tonight’s edition features mini-ninjas, talk about naked pictures of Blake Lively, Sly Stallone set to music, an explanation of who Jane Lynch is, a joke about Michael Bay, an even less funny joke about Blake Lively and a profile of Richard Ayoade. That and more, we assure you. Above you will see something I never thought we’d lead with in a Movie News After Dark entry: someone’s grave stone. But there it is, the resting place of actor Leslie Nielsen. Modest, simple and complete with one last fart joke for the road. Nielsen may not have lasted forever, but his penchant for the fart joke will forever stay in our hearts.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly column about movie news and things that interest you. Hopefully it finds more of the latter, but it tries to do its best. It’s no super soldier of news aggregating, but it certainly has taken its share of experimental drugs at the behest of Tommy Lee Jones. The characters of Captain America: The First Avenger now have their own posters. Released today via Cinemarcado, the one-sheets feature Chris Evans as Steve Rogers, Hugo Weaving as Red Skull (above) and Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter, Cap’s lady of interest. The most interesting is Red Skull, who looks pretty wicked. Is it me or does he look like Hell-spawn that spent too much time with Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon?

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Michael Bay and James Cameron aren’t two directors who make little movies. Even when they try to make little movies, they become big events. And love them or hate them, they are two men who make films that we love to talk about. More importantly, they are two directors who are always looking to push the boundaries of what is possible in the technical world of making movies. It helps that each of them is responsible for more than a few films that have grossed unfathomable amounts of money. When you make money like that, you can certainly buy nice toys. A toy is exactly what they call their latest money-making technological boundary-pushing venture, the world of 3D. In a new video taken from a presentation put on by Paramount Pictures in support of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, the two titans of CGI adventure talk about moving into the third dimension, playing with their new toy and making something truly spectacular. It’s the kind of video that might just have you excited about a Transformers movie again. It’s also a video that, in a rare moment, shows Michael Bay to be nothing but a giddy child sitting next to one of his heroes.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column that will soon be shot almost exclusively in IMAX. What this means for you is that you’ll need to get a bigger monitor, as this column will only appear to those whose monitors are at least 70 feet tall. We feel that’s the only way to read it. We promise to make it worth your while. According to a handy press release from Warner Bros., we can now confirm that production has begun on Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises. For those who have not heard of this project, it’s the third in Nolan’s somewhat popular series of Batman movies. But wait, there’s more: “Christopher Nolan is utilizing IMAX® cameras even more extensively than he did on The Dark Knight, which had marked the first time ever that a major feature film was partially shot with IMAX® cameras.” Oh yes!

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Every week, Landon Palmer and Cole Abaius log on to their favorite chat client of 1996 as DogEatsHeart and 5Obstructions5 in order to discuss some topical topic of interest. This week, the pair apply some sun screen and some green screen in order to forecast how the movies of Summer 2011 might shape up. Is there a secret weapon to its inevitable success? Is its success inevitable? Anything would be better than last year, right?

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a movie news column that is content with entertaining you on a nightly basis with the best links and tidbits the web has to offer. But in reality, it wishes that it could be out there fighting for the side of humanity in the great world war against the zombie invasion. It has big dreams, this nightly feature. As you know, there are three things I can’t avoid writing about in this here column: Michael Bay movies, Doctor Who and World War Z. The third is perhaps one of the greatest texts ever written about the zombie apocalypse. What I did not know is that it was almost turned into an awesome video game, as this Kotaku investigative report suggests. As you can see from tonight’s headline image, it would have been very cool.

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There was no telling where the Transformers franchise was going to go after Revenge of the Fallen, and it looks like the only answer was the destruction of everything we know. The first trailer for Transformers: Dark of the Moon feels like it gives away a lot, so be warned, but it also gives away a giant metal set of tentacles ravaging a skyscraper, the utter despair of losing the world to an alien race, and a whole hell of a lot of explosions. “Years from now, they’re going to ask, ‘Where were you when they took over the planet?’” Check it out for yourself:

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