Til Schweiger

Glengarry Glen Ross

What is Casting Couch? Quite simply, it’s a casting news round-up that takes its name from the place where young actors trade their dignity for a shot at fame. Today we learn who had to service Miss Piggy to get a role in her new film. When everyone thinks of James Foley’s 1992 film adaptation of David Mamet’s Glengarry Glen Ross, they think of a bunch of competitive men trying to tear each other’s throats out to get ahead, they think of Alec Baldwin’s testosterone-filled motivational speeches about how coffee is for closers, and generally they think about a bunch of macho posturing and heartless ambition. So Jason Reitman’s latest live reading of a Hollywood script should be fun, because it re-imagines Glengarry by giving it an all-female cast. Who’s he got? According to Inside Movies, his cast will consist of Robin Wright playing the Al Pacino role, Catherine O’Hara the Jack Lemmon one, Maria Bello the Ed Harris one, Allison Janney the Alan Arkin one, and Mae Whitman the Kevin Spacey one. A replacement for Baldwin has yet to be announced, but I think we can all agree that the dream casting would be Beyoncé. The reading takes place at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art on February 21.

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Kevin Carr

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr takes the week off because the studios didn’t screen the new releases anywhere near him. In fact, he was specifically told not to come to one particular screening. And that can’t be a good sign, can it? What else can you expect for the movies in the weeks leading up to the Oscars, ‘cause the new ones in the theaters don’t stand a chance of winning anything next year. To take away the pain of not seeing movies this week, Kevin makes a deal with the devil, selling his soul for the ability to set his skull on fire whenever he sees a bad movie. Unfortunately, the light from said flaming skull got him kicked out of the theater because someone thought he was using his cell phone to pirate the film.

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The horror…the horror… The best part about this poster for New Year’s Eve is either that it features all of the names and pictures of the actors, but not in the same order, or that the catchphrase “Let The Countdown Begin” lets us know that it’s a Doomsday Movie. Garry Marshall, who should be ashamed of himself for directing Valentine’s Day, proves once and for all that he owes some serious men down at the race track by stepping up to direct this sequel which seeks to squeeze even less screen time out for even more famous faces. Also, Homeless Hector Elizondo is kind of cruel considering they made everyone else look halfway decent (except for Ashton Kutcher who clearly didn’t show up for a photo shoot and forced the marketing department to find a paparazzi shot of him smiling). Enough with the words! Check it out for yourself, and feel free to largify it by clicking (if you dare):

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captionthis-farcry

Would you like to pay for another Uwe Boll video game adaptation on DVD? We didn’t think so. How about we give you the DVD for the low-low price of entertaining us with a photo caption?

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farcry-header

After seeing his latest film Rampage at Fantastic Fest just last month, we thought we’d seen a turning point for director Uwe Boll. As it turns out, we were wrong…

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basterds-pitt-poster-header

Basterds, basterds, everywhere I turn. Who could have known that around the time that Quentin Tarantino’s latest film was gearing up for its debut at Cannes that we would also get creamed with marketing materials?

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basterds-posters-tilmelanie

The Weinstein Company has released two more posters for Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds in the past few days, including one of the very lovely Melanie Laurent.

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