The Virginity Hit

Last week I explored how emotionally and physically painful losing one’s virginity is for the ladies. The women discussed all held on to their v-cards like prized pies at a county fair, and when they gave it up disaster often struck. Be it mass suicide, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, or (worse yet) feelings, each movie addressed this entirely relatable coming-of-age experience. While many of us look back at our first time through rose-colored glasses, it was watching movies growing up that helped us come to terms with what happens to our bodies, feelings, and sexual futures. Thank god, for every female virginity tale, there are female sex positive films, family friendly fantasies, and Golden Years send-offs. But what about the boys? Unlike women centric virginity films, the boy’s story is often considered awkward, comical, and down-right head slap inducing. Why are boys never given as much respect in sexual awakening stories as the girls, who consequentially are considered fragile glass eggs. I could sit here and list off all the hilarious comedies where a terribly geeky boy not only kisses but fucks the girl of his dream, but I think there is something deeper to explore in these movies.  Losing our virginity is a push into adulthood, an emotional journey for some and anticlimactic for others. But no matter what sex for the first time only makes us want it more.

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This Week in DVD

The past few weeks have been incredibly light when it comes to DVD Tuesdays, but that streak of limited releases appears to have come to an end. Fourteen titles are covered below, and they run the gamut from fantastic to pure drivel with a lot in between. Titles out this week include Animal Kingdom, Dark Skies, Justified, Freakonomics, Death Race 2, and more. And yes, I was as surprised as you that Takers is worth a rental.

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Sex. Is. Good. With a partner, with friends, by yourself… sex is good. You know what else is good? Sex in movies. This is especially true when the onscreen shenanigans stimulate your funny bone as well as your [insert bone related pun here]. Porky’s, American Pie, and Superbad all found great humor in the eternal quest for teenage devirginification (even though Porky’s starred actors who appeared to be in their late thirties), but they’re not alone. The most recent film interested in shooting a load of laughs your way is The Virginity Hit, and while you won’t recognize the faces onscreen two of the names (Will Ferrell and Adam McKay) behind the scenes should be enough to warrant your attention. And now the fine folks at Sony are offering up a DVD copy of the film and a Virginity Hit t-shirt to one lucky winner. So what do you need to do to win? Send us proof of you losing your virginity of course!

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There are two reasons why looking at the best movie posters is fascinating. The first is the inherent interest that all advertising brings. It’s art that’s meant to sell something that can’t admit it’s trying to sell anything in order to succeed. The second is that rating the best of the best in the poster world has the most potential to showcase films that never end up on lists this time of year. This is a celebration of the beauty and effect that movie posters can have. It’s for the films released in 2010, and it’s the posters from the studios (or else Tyler Stout and Olly Moss would completely dominate). The awards are broken up into five categories in order to recognize the wide array of styles and concepts, and because there were a lot of great posters this year (among the absolutely terrible photoshop jobs that still haunt us). See if your favorite made the cut.

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The Reject Report

It’s an uncommon thing when a film opening in less than 20 markets is getting more notoriety than the one opening on 2,800 screens. Such is the case this weekend. Resident Evil: Afterlife is the clear winner in terms of size. It has a rather good chance of even coming out #1. However, the most talked about film of the weekend features Joaquin Phoenix, a beard, and a year in the life of secluded madness. You be the judge who the true winner is. We’re just here to talk about box office.

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We realize that you’re probably sitting at home right now, chewing your own nails off and wondering what movies are coming out this month. Maybe you’re even wondering why no one on the entire internet has said anything about them by now. Strange, we know. Fortunately, Rob Hunter and Cole Abaius spent the entire month of August going to the local library, making phone calls to important producers and making fan trailers out of macaroni to make sure that you, dear reader, are in the know about what’s coming out in September. Don’t let Machete scare you. If you watch movies, this guide’s for you.

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