The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)

The Coroner

It’s fairly rare that a film can come along and generate a lot of attention just based on the premise. The Human Centipede was one such film. It claimed to be “100% Medically Accurate,” was viewed at Fantastic Fest, and took the world by storm by asking the question “What would it be like to sew a bunch of people ass to mouth?” At the time, I was hard on the claim that the flick was medically accurate, despite writer/director Tom Six‘s insistence. I’ve since changed my mind: sure, it’s entirely possible to sew a bunch of people together like that as long as you expect them to choke on feces and die relatively quickly. There is no shared digestion, but hey, he never said it was 100% a good idea! Unfortunately, that flick wasn’t 100% good. For me, I found it to be 52% good, which, as it turns out, is at least 30% better than the follow-up. Hey hey hey hey, listen to me. Spoilers ahead.

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Drinking Games

Whether you actually want to see Human Centipede or its sloppy sequel Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), which hits DVD and Blu-ray this week, you’re definitely aware of the movies. If you didn’t think that the first Human Centipede was gory enough, you now can enjoy the unrated, uncut version of the second film in the privacy (and safety) of your own home. It’s a gross-out film, to be sure, so we don’t recommend eating a pizza or a chocolate sundae while watching it. But that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying a few adult beverages along the way. And if you’re so shocked, you’re wondering when you should drink, here’s our suggestions.

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This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr gets ready to celebrate Halloween in style with some horror releases… and he’s not just thinking of Footloose. Unhappy with his life, he follows the bucket list path of Steve Martin, Owen Wilson and Jack Black, traveling to the bottom of the world where he finds himself in a small Antarctic town that has outlawed dancing. So Kevin takes it upon himself to help the people get their groove on only to discover they’ve been taken over an alien species that duplicate human form. Later, he takes a trip back to the heartland where he finds a feral woman chained in a cellar… pretty standard for some of the towns he’s been to. Finally, not being able to find a theater that is still playing Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence), he checks it out On Demand and promptly throws up.

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The Reject Report

It’s time to pop the head off that other report, the one we don’t like. I don’t know. Take your pick. This is the Reject Report, where we mash down our buttons so fast and furiously we knock out the competition that comes before us. That’s precisely what two new films are looking to do to their own competition this weekend. We’ve got a huge robot movie starring Hugh Jackman and a political drama starring Ryan Gosling and George Clooney. Plenty of eye candy in the theaters this weekend, but only one of these movies is going to have what it takes to take that box office top spot. Perhaps you would say one of these movies is going to have to have real steel? Perhaps not. Let’s see how our combatants are looking this weekend.

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Have you ever wished that someone else had an idea instead of the person that had it? Has there ever been a time where you’ve recognized real genius trapped in a mind unable to execute it to its full glory? If there were ever a moment like that in the movie world, it was Human Centipede, and with Human Centipede 2, writer/director Tom Six has proven that his inspired idea of a horror villain who sews his victims ass to mouth should have popped into the head of a writer/director who knew thing one about writing or directing. As if there were doubts, Mr. Six is in love with the movie he made. This love is so powerful that he felt the need to share it in this sequel which features a squatted lump of a man watching Six’s previous film many, many, many times during what has to be called “the story” despite it never earning a title as lofty as that. And it’s not just scenes from the first movie that get replayed in self-stroke mode – it’s the credits too. That’s right, friends. It’s no exaggeration to say that the credits for Human Centipede roll at least four times during Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence). If you can, just try to imagine filmmaking more riveting than watching a guy watch movie credits. In the movie, a psychologically disturbed Martin (Laurence R. Harvey) is obsessed with the first Human Centipede film so much that he has designs to […]

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When Human Centipede (First Sequence) played at Fantastic Fest in 2009, it boasted a brutally disgusting concept and failed to deliver. The idea was a brilliant one that got stretched into a feature length film with a terrible structure and a moronic plot. It’s no secret that the film didn’t thrill me, but it’s partially because of the potential of the set up being squandered by awful writing and direction from Tom Six. So, excuse me if I don’t believe the advertising-ready hype for the next installment. The campaign so far has included a trailer where people react Two Girls One Cup style to the film. It has people covering their eyes, screaming, throwing up, and flat out leaving the film. Clearly the movie is selling itself on its gross-out alone. The new teaser trailer gives a bit more insight by briefly giving us a full frontal introduction to the villain of Human Centipede II (Full Sequence).

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This week, on a very special episode of Reject Radio, we talk with Viva Riva! writer/director Djo Tunda Wa Munga and veteran actor Vincent D’Onofrio. Plus, our very own Landon Palmer takes on Gordon and the Whale‘s Kate Erbland in the movie news quiz, and we end up talking about Human Centipede 2: Electric Sand Paper Mastubation-aloo. If you own the copyright on the phrase “sandpaper penis,” we may owe you some money. Please don’t let that scare you away. Listen Here: Download This Episode

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Besides the bad acting, the eye-rollingly terrible story, the logic gaps, and pointlessness, the biggest problem with Human Centipede was that it just wasn’t all that gross. With a premise like that, you’d better deliver the goods, and director Tom Six instead covered the goods in adult diapers and pantomime poop-eating. Fortunately, its sequel has been flatly rejected by the British Board of Film Classification – citing “images of sexual violence, forced defecation, and mutilation.” A plot synopsis of sorts has come from the decision, and it reveals that Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) will be employing a new horror trend into its bag of tricks. Of course, mild spoilers stand right ahead…

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