The Expendables 3

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Lionsgate

After months of teasers offering little more than onscreen font telling us the names of all fifty four actors starring in the film, we’ve finally gotten a proper trailer for The Expendables 3. And it looks… okay? The first two films certainly have their fans as evidenced by the (world-wide) box office for each installment more than tripling its budget, but in addition to adding sixty three more characters to the ensemble the third go around will also be rated PG-13 for the first time. Will that matter? Doubtful. It’s the cast that counts, and on that front the film is swinging for the fences. Just a small sampling of the eighty seven main cast members in The Expendables 3 includes returning veterans Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews and Randy Couture alongside newcomers Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas and Kelsey Grammer. And those are only the names I recognize. Check out the first full trailer for The Expendables 3 below.

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The Expendables 3

Who isn’t in The Expendables 3? It’s a fair question, and with a cast this bloated — sometimes literally — it’s one well worth considering. Who isn’t in The Expendables 3? Anyone who doesn’t pop up in this roll call-themed trailer (well, most likely, we wouldn’t put it past this team to CGI in someone special, just for laughs). How many stars can you name before we get going? 15? 56? Keep going. There will be more. There will always be more. The massive cast includes returning stars (Sylvester Stallone, Terry Crews, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Randy Couture), fresh faces (Kellen Lutz, Ronda Roussey, Victor Ortiz, Glen Powell) and some other old dudes looking for some quick cash (Harrison Ford, Kelsey Grammer, Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas, Mel Gibson). They’re all here! How long can this gag possibly last?

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Is there some kind of competition between Fast & Furious 7 and The Expendables 3 to see which film can boast the most stars in one cast? There’s a little spillover – both Jason Statham and UFC fighter Ronda Rousey couldn’t decide between the two and ended up picking both – but Expendables may have just taken the lead by casting Kelsey Grammer as the latest actor to rally against all those who think being a bullet-spraying mercenary and being a member of the AARP should be mutually exclusive. Grammer will be playing the part of Bonaparte, the role initially rumored for Nicolas Cage. Grammer’s not necessarily an action star, but he was briefly an X-Man in X-Men: The Last Stand, which has to count for something. Grammer was also a scary-shouty villain in the TV series Boss, and will be the scary-shouty villain in next year’s Transformers: Age of Extinction. That alone should give him the swagger needed to stand alongside his Expendables cohorts. According to Deadline Hollywood, Bonaparte will be an ex-mercenary who shows up to assist the current Expendables in exploding whatever places, people, and things need to be exploded this time around. Fast & Furious 7 is falling behind. Maybe they could get David Hyde Pierce behind the wheel for a race or two.

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news ford wants more indy

Let’s all try to process this together. After the overwhelming monstrosity that was 2008’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Harrison Ford freely admitted out of his own volition to the Telegraph recently that he thinks making a fifth Indy film could be a neat idea. Though he didn’t give a definite “yes” to the hypothetical film, he had this to say: “We’ve seen the character develop and grow over a period of time and it’s perfectly appropriate and okay for him to come back again with a great movie around him where he doesn’t necessarily have to kick as much ass. To me, what was interesting about the character was that he prevailed, that he had courage, that he had wit, that he had intelligence, that he was frightened and that he still managed to survive. That I can do.”

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02_the_fugitive_blu-ray

Very famously, Harrison Ford is the sort of grumpy curmudgeon who doesn’t like it when he has to field questions about Star Wars or his experiences playing the iconic character Han Solo in that series. Which is understandable, you know, because us nerds can get pretty pushy. Probably the guy would get more sympathy from people if he didn’t then go and do things like make unwanted Indiana Jones sequels, agree to appear in the new Star Wars trilogy, and now agree to appear in yet another series that’s built almost entirely on nerd nostalgia, though. What series based on nostalgia are we talking about? Sylvester Stallone’s Expendables series, wherein the movies always seem like they’re going to be action-packed larks where all of your favorite action stars from the 80s finally team up to go on the same adventure, but then end up being inert bores where old guys dress too young for their own good and do their best to prove that their knees can no longer handle the stress of running (except for JCVD, who was actually good in The Expendables 2).

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Milla Jovovich stars in Screen Gems

What is Casting Couch? It’s casting news the way you like it: short and to the point. Today Paul Thomas Anderson has decided who he wants as the female lead of his next project, Inherent Vice. Read on to find out who he chose. You can’t make a new Expendables movie without rounding up a new crop of old action stars to join the dream team, otherwise you’d just be making a dumb movie about a bunch of people who have already teamed up, and who wants to dream about that? So, who’s going to be joining Sylvester Stallone’s crew of gun-toting retirees for The Expendables 3? Over the past few months we’ve heard rumors that names like Wesley Snipes, Jackie Chan, and Nicolas Cage were being sought after, and a new report from The Wrap confirms that they are all indeed negotiating to join the film, along with Resident Evil veteran Milla Jovovich, who isn’t quite as old as everyone else in the crew, but who probably gets a pass because she’s a chick. Clearly only men are allowed to look old on camera, so any ladies from the 80s are out.

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Jackie Chan

What is Casting Couch? It’s a column that has a lot of new casting news today, so settle in. Even after only two movies, the number of aged action stars who have yet to appear in Sylvester Stallone’s Expendables series has dwindled down to a select few. So, given his age, his lengthy resume, and the way he’s linked almost exclusively to the action genre, Jackie Chan has to be seen as one of the biggest fish out there that Stallone has yet to catch. It looks like that’s going to change in The Expendables 3, however, as Chan has told Cinema Online [via Coming Soon] that Stallone has invited him to join the cast of the film, and he has agreed to appear as long as it’s in a featured part and not just a cameo. Looks like we might finally get our chance to see Dolph Lundgren get beat up with a ladder.

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Benedict Cumberbatch

What is Casting Couch? Today it’s a casting column that’s debunking a couple of rumors that will probably come true anyway. Absolutely Anything is a project that’s long been on comedy nerds’ radars, not only because it’s being directed by Monty Python member Terry Jones, but also because the film will see Jones re-teaming with the other members of his legendary comedy troupe to do voiceover work. According to The Wrap, filming is looking to get underway on this one soon, Gemma Arterton has joined the cast, and Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock) is currently negotiating to come on board, as well. The story is about a bumbling but magical school teacher, something that Cumberbatch would likely knock out of the park; which is one more positive that will help you forget Robin Williams is also going to be doing his voiceover thing here.

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Nicolas Cage

What is Casting Couch? It’s your Monday look at all of the great work casting agents and PR people did over the weekend to keep those Hollywood gears turning. UPDATED: We dreamed too soon, kids. It seems like Sylvester Stallone is fully committed to his experiment of figuring out how many big name celebrities have to be packed into an Expendables movie before one of them actually becomes interesting. The latest news regarding his quest (found on Stallone’s Facebook page by JoBlo) is that Nicolas Cage has been confirmed for a role in The Expendables 3, and that Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes, and Mickey Rourke are the names he intends on recruiting next. You keep on trucking there, Mr. Stallone. With the addition of just five or ten more celebrities, The Expendables 3 is bound to be the one that finally gets out of first gear and actually becomes a decent action movie. We have faith!

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Zero Dark Thirty

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly column about movies that is comin’ at ya, like an adrenaline-crazed bike messenger doing 50 down Broadway… We begin this evening with a new image from Zero Dark Thirty featuring some rough and tumble types who are about to go in and take down that Bin Laden guy. This Kathryn Bigelow directed ditty is going to be one hell of a ride, if any of her previous works are any indication.

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The Expendables 3 Cast?

Seeing as The Expendables 2 has yet to hit theaters, it’s hard to imagine that there’s anything concrete yet nailed down for The Expendables 3. That doesn’t mean Sylvester Stallone and his crew don’t have some ideas about what tricks they want to pull out of their sleeves for the eventual trilogy capper though. And, in a chat with Total Film, Expendables producer Avi Lerner found himself spilling the beans about which big name actors that haven’t yet been involved in the franchise they want to sign up for part 3. According to Lerner, “We’ve approached Clint Eastwood to be one of the guys, we’ve got a character in mind for him. We’re talking to Harrison Ford. [And we want] Wesley Snipes when he comes back from prison. I’ll give you one more name, we’ve got Nicolas Cage to play [one of the characters].” Of course, wanting and approaching doesn’t exactly equal having, so these names should be taken with a huge grain of salt. Two of these guys don’t really do much acting anymore, and one is still in prison, so Lerner could be pinning his hopes on long shots.

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