Taylor Lautner

There were people camping out for the notoriously crowded Hall H line up to two days before the Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 panel kicked off the events in that hallowed space. I hope they had a sense of humor because at least 500 seats remained open throughout the event, and late-comers’ wait time was non-existent. Regardless, the fans were out in full force, screaming at just about everything that moved on the stage. Director Bill Condon set a tone for the discussion (that wouldn’t last long), talking about the joy of joining a story already in progress. “It’s all third act. I started out in horror movies, and in the second act [of Breaking Dawn] it turns into a really cool horror movie.” All talk of horror ended when Kristen Stewart was asked about the wedding scene.

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If, even by the smallest, dumbest chance that someone, somewhere in a position of power thought Taylor Lautner might make a great replacement in the Bourne movies, this trailer for Abduction should squash that theory completely. His acting is so non-existent and wooden that 1) he belongs in generic action and 2) he could actually learn a thing or two about emoting from Keanu Reeves. John Singleton has never been an outstanding director. He creates middling faux-drama, featuring laughably intense heroes, and there was no reason to break the streak with this one. Check out the trailer for yourself:

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What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this stuff late at night, what do you expect?

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What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this stuff late at night, what do you expect?

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What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this shit late at night, what do you expect?

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Twilight: Bella and Edward

Summit Entertainment may not know this, but the world is supposed to end in the fall of 2012. This is why studios such as Paramount, Warner Bros. and others are unleashing a slew of films that summer — titles like The Avengers, Star Trek 2 and Christopher Nolan’s sequel to The Dark Knight. Fans will need to see these films before Roland Emmerich’s wet dream finally wipes humanity off the map. Even so, Summit is hedging its bets on the Mayans being wrong, scheduling The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 for a November 16, 2012 release. The Bill Condon directed film will be “the astonishing conclusion to the series illuminates the secrets and mysteries of this spellbinding romantic epic that has entranced millions.” Perhaps we’ve all been wrong all along about the apocalypse. Perhaps Twihards are the chosen ones… and their reward for surviving the fall of man will be the final Twilight film. Don’t laugh; it could happen.

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Hollywood turned in its assignments early this week with releases on Wednesday and Thursday. Now Fat Guy Kevin Carr hands out his grades for the latest installment of The Twilight Saga and the big screen adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

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Squeeeeee! Kevin and Neil run around the Magical Studio in the Sky without their shirts on, desperately trying to shape-shift into a werewolf so they too can be worthy of sickly-looking Bella Swan’s fickle infatuation… yet they still have a better time than they did when they saw The Last Airbender.

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Twilight: Eclipse

Eclipse, the third film in the famed Twilight Saga, left not a dry or empty seat in the house last night as it steamrolled its way to the all-time midnight opening record. It also claimed the record for widest release of all time, starting its box office journey in well over 4,400 theaters. By the end of the night it had earned more than $30 million dollars, eclipsing (get it?) the record held by its franchise predecessor, Twilight: New Moon (which earned $26.3 million on its opening night last year).

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Twilight Eclipse

In this line of work, there often comes a time when the ability to be objective comes in handy. When it feels great to throw away prejudgments and biases and give a movie a chance, no matter how bad its bloodline may be. Such is the case with The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. There’s bad blood in this family — really bad blood — in the form of two films that were poorly constructed and shoddily executed on just about every level. But like any interesting rebellious child, Eclipse breaks the mold at the hands of a craftsman. It becomes something new — something oddly watchable, at times enjoyable and surprisingly unlike what has come before.

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This Les Grossman stuff never gets old. This time he — and by he, I mean Tom Cruise’s most hilarious character to date — is giving style tips to Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.

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The last installment of the series just got an Oscar pedigree, and sees the return of its entire main cast.

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Twilight: Eclipse

I never — not in a million, gazillion years — thought I would type the above headline. But here we are. Record this date into history. I have been impressed by a trailer for a Twilight movie.

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John Singleton

For weeks, we have been waiting with bated breath to see which director in Hollywood would be chosen to turn Twilight star Taylor Lautner into the next Jason Bourne. Now it looks like a multiple Academy Award nominee may help him get there.

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Twilight: Eclipse

It all begins with a choice, says the poster for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. I’m certain that for some of you — many of our regular readers — that means the choice to completely ignore and avoid Twilight like the plague. And for good reason, there isn’t much in these movies for those who have not already been indoctrinated into the cult of Twilight. Yet for those who are, this concept of “choice” means a lot.

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Twilight Eclipse

Today, we see the first trailer for Twilight: Eclipse, and it’s mostly just fan service. All of those broody teen superhumans (and unhumans) talking about how much they will fight, if the fight happens. It’s all very romantic, I suppose.

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Twilight: Eclipse Robert Pattinson

At this point, I feel like I’m making fun of this entire process. Perhaps I’m just trying to point out the absurdity of this marketing ploy — the releasing of a ten-second teaser that is teasing a teaser trailer which will go online tomorrow. It’s a little much, for any movie. The fact that it’s Twilight: Eclipse only makes it easier for the comment section below to get a little rowdy.

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Twilight: Eclipse

There’s no easy way to go about this little piece of news — I’ll just come right out with it. Summit Entertainment has announced that the first trailer for Twilight: Eclipse will debut online on Thursday (March 11) at around 6:00a PST / 9:00a EST. The contents of this 90-second teaser are being kept under wraps until it debuts, but we can tell you this: it will include Edward (Robert Pattinson), Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Jacob (Taylor Lautner).

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There’s a really dirty joke about teenage girls and soccer moms here somewhere, but I’m resisting out of respect for Twilight fans. In fact, I’ve long thought that their fandom should be commended.

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The good Dr. Abaius is known widely for his correspondence with Hollywood. And in his most recent letter, he lets director Garry Marshall — a man who has directed his fair share of romantic comedy gems — know what he thinks of his latest film, Valentine’s Day.

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