Tara Reid

Sharknado

I wonder what kind of movie will have to show up on a crowdfunding site for the whole world to just give up. Not just give up on the crowdfunding concept, but give up on life, on everything. We got over the Veronica Mars and the Zach Braff and the Spike Lee, but how about this now: Sharknado 2: The Second One is raising money from its poor fans. Don’t worry if you’re one of them; the NYC-set movie is still set to debut on SyFy on July 30th for your snark-Tweeting amusement. It’s not looking to build its budget or anything. It just needs an extra $50K for a single extra secret scene, one we’re only told involves chainsaws. Let me guess: they want to top the first movie’s chainsaw scene. This time will both Ian Ziering and Tara Reid be engulfed and then buzz their way out? The only thing that might really be better is if this time the shark is wielding the chainsaw and he enters and then cuts open a human. A really fat human, I suppose. That’s the best they could do to make me watch, the one scene anyway, but I wouldn’t pay a cent in order to see that. I mean, other than sit through the commercials that are there to pay for SyFy’s programming, which I pay for in the form of my suffering.

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sharknadotruth-2

Sharknado has been taking the world by storm (well, less of a storm and more of a tornado full of hungry sea life), and the surprise cult hit is showing no signs of stopping. Those who feel that the small screen can’t truly capture the majesty that is Sharknado have had their prayers answered: for one night only (that night being August 2), the film will play midnight shows at approximately 200 Regal Cinemas across the United States. As goofy as it sounds, Sharknado does seem like the right film to see on a late night in a crowded theater, and its one-night-only status all but ensures that those theaters will be plenty crowded. Chris Sylvia, director of digital marketing for Regal Entertainment Group, had this to say: “You know how audiences have had fun with Rocky Horror Picture Show over the years. If the internet reactions to this film are any indication, then our moviegoers are primed and ready to enjoy Sharknado larger than life in cinemas. Regal is proud to be giving our guests this chance to fuel the social media whirlwind by inviting friends to come to the show and tweeting reactions.”

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sharknadotruth-2

Last week, the world reeled at the thought of a powerful hurricane creating freak tornadoes that would scoop up dozens of man-eating sharks and deposit them onto dry land. The idea of a sharknado probably never occurred to anyone outside of the production offices of The Asylum, until the Syfy Original Movie Sharknado hit the air on July 11th. The movie tells the (possibly) unlikely story of a global-warming-fueled hurricane that strikes the coast of Southern California. This unprecedented hurricane spawns a line of tornadoes that fling sharks across Los Angeles, and the only people who can stop them are Ian Ziering and Tara Reid. Were this real life, we’d be screwed. (Pinning humanity’s hope on drop outs from Beverly Hills 90210 and the American Pie franchise has almost never worked out.) However, that got us thinking: should we be worried about a Sharknado really happening? Shouldn’t we be planning for its imminent arrival?

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sharknado

Sometimes you never knew you needed something until it comes along, and once you finally get it, you’re not sure how you’ll be able to live without it ever again. The concept of a “sharknado” is exactly this sort of thing. Sure, we’ve been watching movies that didn’t feature tornadoes full of sharks for over a century now, and for most of that time they’ve felt fairly satisfying, but now that the SyFy channel is bringing us their Ian Ziering and Tara Reid-starring original, Sharknado, it’s hard to imagine how we’ll ever be able to sit through a movie that doesn’t feature a tornado full of sharks ever again. Click through to watch the new “almost red band” trailer for the film, which features more low rent CGI, washed up actors (and John Heard, poor John Heard), and shark deaths than you can shake a stick at, and which SyFy seems to think might just be “too violent for TV.”

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Sharknadoposterpart

With The Lone Ranger confirmed as one of the biggest bombs in an altogether underwhelming summer at the movies, it’s the perfect time for Sharknado to rear its ridiculous head and draw in millions. It won’t be in theaters, though, only on the SyFy Channel (and soon enough home video). Directed by Antonio C. Ferrante (SyFy’s recent version of Hansel & Gretel), Sharknado is one of those uber-high-concept SyFy originals that’s easily understood by its title alone (“enough said!” is its tagline, after all). But what is a sharknado? Well, it’s a massive “super tornado” that has sucked up tons of sharks from the ocean and is “hurling” them at Los Angeles. Humans played by Tara Reid, John Heard and Ian Ziering (playing a guy named “Fin,” no kidding) do something on the ground in order to add some sort of plot to the carnage. There’s no way Sharknado is going to be a quality movie, but that’s not it’s aim, and that’s part of what shall make it a refreshing alternative to this year’s blockbusters, many of which seem intended to be taken seriously in spite of how dumb they are (“legitimate” sci-fi flicks Star Trek Into Darkness, Oblivion and After Earth included). Viewers and critics, meanwhile, have been overthinking other tentpoles that shouldn’t be taken too seriously, like top grosses Man of Steel and Iron Man 3. Still, there is a weight given to these movies due to their caliber of production brands and price tags. Sharknado is […]

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Over Under - Large

The 90s were a dark decade for fun stuff aimed at teens and tweens. Grunge music and gangsta rap ruled the airwaves, and young people were into acting sullen and disturbed. Any entertainment that could be considered kiddie or corporate was rejected outright in favor of culture stuff that was gritty and dark. But, by 1999, change was in the air. The prevailing trends of the decade had run their course, boy bands and Britney Spears started showing up on the radio, and the first movie that attempted to bring back the raunchy teenage sex comedy, American Pie, became a runaway success that launched a long-lived, multi-film franchise. Kurt Cobain was dead, long live Stifler. In 2005 Noah Baumbach’s The Squid and the Whale got a lot of attention in the world of indie and art films, much of it due to the performance of its lead actor, a young kid named Jesse Eisenberg. Over the next few years Eisenberg’s fame rose as he accrued another handful of indie credits, and eventually his career hit a peak when he anchored a mainstream horror comedy in Zombieland, and then got to work with one of the biggest directors in the business, David Fincher, on The Social Network. After Eisenberg played Zuckerberg it was official, the guy was a bonafide celebrity. But, despite his fame, one of his earliest films, 2002’s Roger Dodger, still hasn’t been seen by very many people, and very rarely gets brought up even in film geek circles, […]

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The legendary Cloris Leachman is a salty woman with brass buttons. Her latest conquest is the suspense thriller – working alongside, seriously, Tara Reid in The Fields. Kevin Carr sits down the Oscar winner to discuss what scares her, her work with Mel Brooks and why she owns a porn shop in an upcoming movie. Plus, Eric D. Snider and Rob Hunter go head to head Movie News Pop Quiz-style, and the discussion turns to spoiler sensitivity. Download Episode #130

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It’s easy to deride American Reunion for being a needless sequel or cash grab. After all, we’re thirteen years on from the first film and in that time we’ve had bad direct sequels, trips to band camps, and straight to DVD spin-offs (which honestly aren’t as bad as you think they’d be). Fortunately, writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg are at least somewhat aware of the uphill battles they face in making this movie palatable to both new audiences and those of us who remember MILFs and pie sex from the good old days of ’99. For example, the film takes place in 2012 and their 13 Year Reunion. There’s a joke about missing the tenth, which is just a fun little nod to the absurdity of revisiting this franchise now. Returning in large roles is the entirety of the male cast: Jason Biggs as Jim, Seann William Scott as Stifler, Chris Klein as Oz, Thomas Ian Nichols as Kevin, Eddie Kaye Thomas as Finch, and Eugene Levy as Jim’s dad. Also returning in various capacities are Alyson Hannigan as Michelle, Mina Suvari as Heather, John Cho as MILF Guy #2 and…yYou know what, pretty much everyone is back, okay?

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Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Eugene Levy, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Chris Klein, Mena Suvari, Jennifer Coolidge. That list of names is eerie. The adults have their own long, strange comedy trips, but the rest of it sounds like a Where Are They Now roster. Not one young actor made it out of the American Pie movies alive? Seann William Scott comes the closest to surviving, but everyone else is relegated to middling indie work or complete obscurity. Hell, I’m not even sure tabloids will run topless pictures of Tara Reid anymore. That’s how bad it’s gotten. Context aside, all of those names will most likely come together for another installment in the American Pie franchise – a franchise that seems to have 3 movies in it, but really has 7 counting all the direct-to-video content with the brand’s name on it. All of this to point out the obvious: that bringing these characters back is tired. According to The Hollywood Reporter, American Reunion has got Paul and Chris Weitz in producer jobs, and sees Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay team Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg writing and directing. That’s all solid talent, so it’ll be interesting if they can take meat that’s been sitting out for a week and make a meal out of it. Hopefully it hasn’t turned rancid before it hits the pan. It also might be an oversight, but I can’t help but notice Alyson Hannigan and Shannon Elizabeth’s names missing from the […]

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decade-worstmovies

There were a lot of bad movies released during the past decade. That’s not anything that distinguishes the aughts from any other decade before it, but then most of these movies were bad in the usual, torturous ways.

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