Sylvester Stallone

Just as the fears of global cataclysm at the end of the last century fueled films like Deep Impact and Armageddon, the ticking clock to December 21, 2012 has led to more end-of-the-world movies that rely on something larger than a zombie outbreak or a deadly contagion (although those have been recently popular as well). The latest entry into Hollywood’s obsession with the Earth’s last days is the apocalyptic rom-com Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, and if the Mayans were right, that might very well be the last one made. Film School Rejects responds to your concerns about the end of the world, as evidenced by the Apocalypse Soon feature currently running on this site. While you’re catching up on these films to see before the end of the world, we wondered who would be the best people to spend that time with. Steve Carell’s character gets to spend the end of the world with Keira Knightley, and here are some cinematic characters with whom we’d like to spend our last days.

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Sylvester Stallone’s upcoming all-star action extravaganza The Expendables 2 is currently in the midst of a mass scale marketing blitz that recently motored on with the release of its final official poster over at Yahoo! Movies (check out a larger version after the break). Just look at all those big names standing next to each other and try to tell me that it doesn’t get you excited for the possibility of seeing them kick ass on the same screen. These guys are the biggest badasses in movie history, without question, and just the idea of seeing JCVD finally going toe-to-toe with Chuck Norris is enough to make one salivate. But what’s with the name of this franchise? The Expendables? Hardly. These rich old men are anything but, as their films have basically made all the money the action genre has brought in over the last three decades. To paint them as some sort of rag-tag team of underdogs is just downright disingenuous. If rooting for the little guy is your cup of tea, however, then boy do I have an appealing B-team of action badasses for you. Meet the Soldiers of Fortune:

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In the grand tradition of Freddy vs. Jason and Aliens vs. Predator comes Grudge Match, which pits boxing legends Rocky Balboa and Jake La Motta against each other in an epic battle to the death. Or, probably not. But Grudge Match is an upcoming boxing comedy coming from Tommy Boy and Anger Management director Peter Segal. It tells the story of two retired boxers who step into the ring one last time in order to finally settle an old score. It’s kind of like that episode of The Cosby Show where Combustible Huxtable races Tailwind Turner one final time, but with punching instead of running. The real exciting news about this project isn’t that it’s a boxing comedy about old dudes, though, it’s the names that are being looked at to play the two leads. The Wrap is reporting that Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro are currently in negotiations. These two are, of course, the two stars of probably the greatest boxing movies ever made, Rocky and Raging Bull, so there’s a whole meta component to their casting that adds to the fact that watching Stallone and De Niro clown around together already sounds kind of fun in a dumb way.

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Sylvester Stallone seems to be pretty proud of the work he’s done on his latest film, The Expendables 2. So much so that he’s even dressed up in a suit and tie to premiere the movie’s trailer on IGN (fancy!). Sly says of his new all-star action extravaganza, “If you thought the first movie kicked some serious ass, you haven’t seen anything yet.” For fans of The Expendables, that has to be an exciting bit of music to their action-loving ears. But what of us who thought the first movie was mostly just a disappointing bore? Well, if this new bit of advertising is to be believed, there might be some hope for us as well.

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Before it had even filled out a single supporting role, the upcoming prison break actioner The Tomb was already blowing my mind with its casting, because it managed to become the movie that finally fulfilled my childhood fantasy of having Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger team up as a duo of badasses. The film intrigued further, however, when it cast Jim Caviezel, an actor with some serious chops, as the evil prison warden that Sly and Arnie would be running afoul of. Maybe this movie would have even more to offer than just the chance to watch the two most preeminent ass-kickers of the 80s do their thing in tandem? Well now a big casting update from Variety all but confirms that this one has more than one trick up its sleeve. Four new names have been added to, or are in talks to join the cast, and whether it’s because of talent, notoriety, or a combination of the two, each name is rather newsworthy in their own right. Perhaps the most exciting of the bunch is Amy Ryan, who has signed on to play the Stallone character’s business partner and potential love interest. Whether it’s performing comedy on something like The Office, or doing drama in something like The Wire, Ryan has proven that she’s a great hand whatever the situation, so her inclusion should go a long way in classing this big, dumb action movie up.

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Over at Sylvester Stallone Fan site StalloneZone (a website that totally, actually exists), Craig Zablo reportedly received confirmation from Stallone that the forthcoming Expendables 2 would be rated R – directly contradicting his earlier explanation that the movie would be both PG-13 and “large.” It was a short but direct statement from Stallone: “After taking in all the odd rumors and hearsay, EXPENDABLES II is an R”(his emphasis). And there are 3 ways to take that. They were shooting for PG-13 (possibly because of Chuck Norris‘s weird sense of prudishness) but the outcry has made them rethink it. Stallone was playing an odd game of misdirection with his earlier comment in an attempt to lower the bar/piss off potential fans. A fan site is fanning flames with a false comment. The first makes the most sense. At any rate, something has made them rethink making a mature action movie fit firmly into a ratings box reserved for adults. The second option seems absurd given that his original statement not only claims the PG-13 rating but tries to explain it with the knowledge that fans would be up in arms. The third could be true, but StalloneZone has actually proven itself to be fairly well connected to the actor/writer/director/bench presser. So, who knows. And who cares? Anyone who sees nothing wrong with a bunch of dudes fighting and blowing shit up being able to say “Fuck” or show some blood doing it. That’s who.  

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Junkfood Cinema - Large

Editor’s note: With our own Junkfood addict Brian Salisbury busy writing through the typhoon that is SXSW, we’ve farmed out his column to similarly-minded Rejects. First up – Adam Charles! Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema. Our jokes are as good as our speling. I’m just kidding…we are good speller. You’ve found yourselves in the annals of a column dedicated to nearly all of the works of Sylvester Stallone except for that one when his Mom will shoot and he’ll warn you about it. We eventually plan on retitling this column Junkfood Cinema: It Is The Laauuwww and today we add one more notch onto the “Stallone takes over Junkfood Cinema” tally, but just before we draw the line to make it complete we’ll offer up a suggestion of something to throw down your kisser in celebration. This week, we give you Tango & Cash.

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Jim Caviezel

After waiting basically my entire childhood for a movie where Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger would team up, I ended up entering adulthood a disappointed, broken man. It wasn’t until 2010’s The Expendables that the two titans of my childhood would even appear in the same movie, and in that case Arnie just showed up for like thirty seconds and didn’t really do anything. It was kind of a slap in the face. Things might be different once The Expendables 2 comes out this summer; it’s a much more legitimate all-star gathering of action heroes than the first film, and Schwarzenegger is said to have a much more expanded role than he did in the first. But seeing as that first film was so boring and ended up being yet another disappointment, I’m not going to get my hopes up. The Tomb though, now this is a movie that I’m willing to start naively anticipating. This one doesn’t just sound like the big Sly/Arnie team-up flick that I’ve always dreamed of, but it’s also the sort of dumb prison movie that I grew up loving. Stallone is set to star as Ray Breslin, basically the best guy in the world when it comes to designing prisons. That’s a good sign right there. The star of any action movie should always be the best in the world at something. But it gets better; this film sees him getting thrown in a prison of his own design and needing to figure out […]

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Like a pit bull that gets his testicles removed right out of the womb, The Expendables 2 is aiming for a PG-13 rating, even though the first film was a smash success despite being stamped with an R. According to an email to Aint It Cool, Sylvester Stallone is confirming that they’re headed for that rating, saying that “The PG-13 rumor is true, but before your readers pass judgment, trust me when I say this film is LARGE in every way and delivers on every level. This movie touches on many emotions which we want to share with the broadest audience possible, BUT, fear not, this Barbeque of Grand scale Ass Bashing will not leave anyone hungry…Sly” The problem is that there just aren’t many great action movies of this kind with a PG-13 rating. You’ve got to see some blood in order to give a damn, and it’s hard to take Stallone at his word that everything will be bigger except for the stuff that makes an action movie an action movie. The bottom line? This is a movie for adults that’s just been shoved into a Happy Meal box. Is it Chuck Norris‘s fault? Who knows. What’s probably happening is an increase in budget to cover the new additions and the new “bigness,” and with great money comes a greater need to hedge bets. “Many emotions which we want to share with the broadest audience possible”? Really? Now there’s no cursing, not much blood, and we have to […]

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No, this isn’t a joint obituary. According to Aint It Cool, international star of stage and screen Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to join Sylvester Stallone for action flick The Tomb. Some people have golf. Some people have bingo. These two have action movies. But as old as they are (65 for Stallone, 64 for Schwarzenegger), it’s still awesome to see the two working together because it’s the culmination of every 1980s action dream out there. It’s Commando and Rambo! It’s Rocky and Conan! It’s Cash and The Terminator! It’s the kind of pairing that should make everyone want to pick up a ventilation shaft and throw it through the nearest kidnapper. The movie itself will feature a security officer (Stallone) who creates top-grade systems for jails that want to keep their prisoners in cells. When he’s framed and lands in one of those prisons, he has to use his knowledge to escape and seek retribution. Hopefully he also has to use his buddy with the grenade launcher and gubernatorial experience. As Harry Knowles points out, Bruce Willis was once going to star, then Schwarzenegger himself was going to take the lead, and now Stallone is doing it. So after turning the movie down to do The Last Stand, Schwarzenegger has decided he just wanted another role. If Willis signs back on, it’ll be the movie casting equivalent of square dancing (another thing retired people enjoy). It will also be awesome. Now the thing just needs a director…is Mark Lester still […]

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Sly Stallone is still ripped

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column that is about to turn 1-year old. As a digital entity, it always knew this day would come. It’s a matter of deduction, really. As a sentient being, it knows that each day is a blessing. Each night, however, is a curse — a curse full of delicious movie-related links. We begin this evening with a shot of Sylvester Stallone in Bullet to the Head, a new actioner from famed action director guy Walter Hill. What’s impressive about this image — beyond the fact that it features a man who, at this point, is old enough to receive Social Security — is that Stallone continues to look younger and leaner than ever. There’s something fishy about it. And whatever drugs he’s on, I want some, too.

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Ben Affleck in Argo

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly thing that collects things about movies, television and other things. Lots of things in store for you tonight, including some more Dark Knight Rises things… We begin tonight with an image of Ben Affleck as a real life former CIA agent from the early 1980s in Argo. In a way that can only be from the 1980s, he also looks like a Die Hard villain. So much mulleted intensity.

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My anticipation for the original The Expendables was massive, only to be matched in size and scope by my disappointment after I actually saw the film. Stallone’s new version of Rambo was awesome, it was packed full of R-rated action movie sleaze and it wasn’t at all ashamed of being exploitation. The Expendables looked like it was going to be a continuation of that, and also a massive team-up of bitchin’ 80s action stars the likes of which we’ve never seen. It didn’t really turn out to be all that though. It was kind of lame and boring, and really it was just a Stallone and Statham team-up movie with a handful of other cameos thrown in. So I’m approaching The Expendables 2 much more cautiously. But even with lowered expectations, I can’t help but feel a little bit of a tingle watching the first teaser. I don’t know if it’s going to be the classless, take no prisoners, R-rated schlock that I’m hoping for, but at least it looks like this one is finally going to be the huge team-up of old guys that I wanted from the first. The team-up aspect is all that can be discerned from this teaser though. It’s a teaser in the truest sense, basically we get the names and head shots of the principal cast and not much else.

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I haven’t seen a nice, dumb prison movie in a while. It seems like it used to be a staple of the action genre. Some super tough guy is framed for something or other, gets thrown in prison, and by the end he has beaten up both the other prisoners and the evil warden. Really, it’s a great plot for a movie, so they need to come back. Summit has been trying to put one called The Tomb together for a while, but it’s been slow going. First Bruce Willis was set to star, but then that didn’t work out. Then it seemed like Arnold Schwarzenegger was going to take the project, but he decided to do Last Stand instead. Also, there has been some shuffling of the director. Antoine Fuqua was going to direct at one point, but then he left to do Southpaw. What is a dumb prison movie to do?

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Next year’s The Expendables 2 is set up to be a team-up movie of the biggest action stars Hollywood has ever known. The only problem is that it looks a bit more like a senior’s circuit than it does an all-star game. Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Chuck Norris are all huge stars, sure, but if you add up their combined ages you get… okay, I don’t know, I’m not going to take the time to add up their combined ages. But they’re old. Jason Statham is going to need somebody who he can fight in this thing without worrying about knocking out their dentures with an uppercut or ripping their colostomy bag with a roundhouse. Luckily for him, Variety’s Showblitz is reporting that he may have found a sparring partner. Earlier this summer Chris Hemsworth made a pretty big name for himself by very charismatically filling the shoes of the mighty Thor. He’s probably got a big Hollywood career ahead of him from this point forward. But it’s starting to look like little brother Liam is playing a quick game of catch up. Not only does he have one of the big roles in next year’s much hyped The Hunger Games, but also it looks like he’s going to be joining Stallone and company in becoming Expendable. His role in the film is currently undisclosed, but adding another high profile project to the resume has got to be big news for the young […]

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Editor’s Note: With Ashe taking a much needed vacation, we turn to the insightful talent of writer Maxwell Yezpitelok for this week’s list. Go read more of his work. But read this first. And then go check that stuff out. Woody Allen has to have one of the greatest casting directors in show business, if we overlook the fact that for some reason they keep casting short middle-aged Jewish guys opposite women like Julia Roberts, Scarlett Johansson and Charlize Theron. But seriously, look at all the big name stars that keep showing up in his movies, sometimes for the whole movie and sometimes for just a few seconds. In honor of that genius scene in Midnight in Paris where Adrien Brody completely kills it as Dali (only to never again), here are the greatest actor cameos in Allen’s forty-something films:

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When Sylvester Stallone started casting for the original The Expendables it was said to be an all-star action icon meet up. Anybody who had ever been in an action movie before, and even a lot of dudes who just slept on those guys’ couches for a couple months, were all rumored to be in the film. When all was said and done, however, it mostly just ended up being a Stallone and Jason Statham team-up movie, with a dash of Jet Li, a sprinkle of Mickey Rourke, and a very brief cameo from the other big action icons Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone. Not quite the all-star lineup people hoped for. Now that production is underway for a sequel, the rumor mill has once again been churning out hopes and dreams of an all-star action cast. Not only are Willis and Schwarzenegger supposed to have bigger roles this time around, but sources loosely associated with the project have intimated that huge names in the action genre like John Travolta, Chuck Norris, and Jean Claude Van Damme are all going to be in the cast as well.

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It’s been a pretty hard life for John Rambo ever since he signed up to go overseas and serve his country in Vietnam. He was turned into an expert in guerrilla warfare. Made the best with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. He was trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land. To eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Vietnam his job was to dispose of enemy personnel, to kill, period. Win by attrition. And after a rough patch where the guy just couldn’t adjust to life after Nam, we sent him back there to slaughter hundreds more and get our POWs. Then we sent him to Afghanistan, where he killed about a thousand more people. I thought that was it for the guy, but then he ended up having to do the same in Burma. Isn’t it about time we let this guy live out his final years in peace? No. You just don’t turn it off. There’s a segment of the population out there who think that First Blood is a decent movie, but the subsequent Rambo sequels are cheesy and exploitative and lame. Those people are ridiculous. The Rambo sequels are cheesy and exploitative and awesome. Even 2008’s Rambo, where we get Rambo as an old man, is completely amazing. He tears out throats with his bare hand and explodes guys by hitting them with close range high caliber machine gun fire. What more do you want? Well, I […]

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David Varod is the CEO of a Bulgaria based film studio called Nu Boyana. This is notable because Sylvester Stallone and his new director pal Simon West are filming scenes for their upcoming sequel to Stallone’s team-up movie The Expendables in Bulgaria. This is newsworthy because Varod is claiming that some big names, not previously confirmed as being in The Expendables 2, are on their way to Bulgaria to film for the movie. When speaking to Novinite, Varod first confirmed that shooting was taking place in September, and then hinted that a lot of Hollywood stars would be moving into the country to do work, “Yes, we are definitely going to do that project. It is going to be a sequel the (sic) The Expendables. The shooting is going to take place the second week of September. The movie is on, definitely. It will be a very good thing for Bulgaria, since there are some very big stars coming.” Big stars, that makes sense. It’s long been assumed that the stars from the original film like Stallone, Jason Statham, and Mickey Rourke would return. There was even some notion that guys like Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, who only made small cameos in the first film, might return in larger roles this time. But when pressed to name off the “big stars” that would be making their way into the country, Varod named a few that could potentially be huge casting announcements.

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As was reported in last night’s Movie News After Dark column, a television actress by the name of Sarah Shahi that Neil Miller has some sort of creepy, obsessive crush on has been cast to play Sylvester Stallone’s daughter in the upcoming Walter Hill film The Movie Formerly Known as Headshot: Formerly Directed by Wayne Kramer. Clearly, the project has had a few hiccups getting all of the pieces together to move ahead with filming. But there are a few things about it that we know for sure. The first is that it’s an adaptation of the graphic novel “Bullet to the Head”, which was penciled by Colin Wilson and written by something called Matz. Because of this we also know that it is the story of a New Orleans based hitman who teams up with a police officer to take down the killer of their respective partners. Stallone has always been set to play the hitman, that’s for sure. And the cop is either going to be portrayed by Thomas Jane, or somebody with more of an ethnic flavor like Fast Five’s Sung Kang, we don’t really have any solid news on that. But what there is some new news on is who will be playing the role of the killer, Keegan. The Latino Review is reporting that actor Jason Momoa, whose gargantuan size and intimidating presence has led to him playing the horse lord Khal Drogo on the HBO series Game of Thrones and Conan the Barbarian in […]

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published: 12.23.2014
B+
published: 12.22.2014
C-
published: 12.19.2014
A-


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