Spike TV

Bar Rescue

While most people who consume trashy reality television get their episodic drug of choice thanks to the involvement of one or more Kardashians and whole packs of “real housewives,” my favorite reality television show only features only one big-haired, big-mouthed star, and he’s no lady. Spike TV’s Bar Rescue stars bar expert/total lunatic Jon Taffer, and centers on Taffer’s attempts to make over failing bars around the country. The quickest way to explain the premise of Bar Rescue is to invoke the name of another yelling-centric reality show about failing businesses that could easily kill their customers – it’s Kitchen Nightmares for bars. Much like Gordon Ramsay, Taffer has the credentials to back up his work (every episode starts off with a resume reel-off that talks about how the ‘Taff has saved over 800 bars) and the show’s entire concept rests on his ability to apply proven techniques to save busted bars. Unlike Ramsay, Taffer is an expert in the science of his craft (never heard the term “bar science” before? Watch just one episode of Bar Rescue, you’ll hear it enough to last a lifetime), a claim that sounds cracked out, but which Taffer is able to consistently back up with studies, numbers, and shiny graphics. Taffer is a larger-than-life personality who is prone to screaming and flipping out with a regularity that almost, almost seems studied – but he’s also usually right on the money when it comes to his freakouts, and even when he’s screaming bloody murder, […]

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I don’t watch Spike because I didn’t date rape anyone in college, but I’m starting to think that I should. Watch the station, not date rape someone. Why? Because apparently they have a show where science (science!) determines who would win in an epic battle of the most intense warriors of all time. Now, we can report that Night at the Museum director Shawn Levy (who’s currently wrapping Real Steel) wants to bring Deadliest Warrior to the big screen.

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published: 11.21.2014
D
published: 11.21.2014
B+
published: 11.19.2014
C+
published: 11.19.2014
B-, C


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